Skip to main content

Random unfinished poetic ramblings...

She told people she didn't like change, when actually no change at all was one of her biggest fears.

In response to that, she did her best to push back against expectations and settling. Leaning into tension and uncertainty and questions felt safer than a cocoon of sameness. And yet - she confused even herself because while her surroundings seldom changed, her heart was forever pulled this way and that...

As she got older, she found her salvation didn't center on who she was or what she did but instead, it was all about Grace. And so she was able to stop performing/striving/being and simply exhale who she was created to be.

Listener.
Encourager.
Lover.
Nurturer.

As she stopped pursuing the things she used to think would bring her happiness, she found everything she'd ever longed for.

Validation.
Confidence.
Success.
Wholeness.
Contentment.
Blessing.

Often, she found herself marveling at the sheer beauty of the messy, broken people He brought to her. What an amazing privilege to hold a crying friend. To comfort a lost and damaged soul. To parent an orphan. How did she ever come to deserve this place of honor? It was beyond words. She couldn't describe the incredible gift it was to witness people laid bare and vulnerable - trusting and open to receive whatever she could offer as a vessel of the great Comforter.

And yet - there would also always be the struggle of her own weaknesses. Her contemplative, broodish tendancy toward self-absorbtion could work against her... often she found she was torn between needing time alone and making time for others. A thorn of sorts, she knew she would likely always struggle with this dichotomy.

Comments

  1. love the things you write about...always touches something in me...makes me think.

    blessings to you on this warm day in our lovely city...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love it when people talk back...

Popular posts from this blog

It came out of the faucet that way.

It's been months since I've had a "Getting to Know You Wednesday." Life's been a little crazy. So today, when life is a little bit calm and I've got the least chaotic week I've had for ages, I thought I'd jump back in. So today, if you leave me a comment telling me your most favorite-ist movie line ever, I'll enter you in a drawing for your very own copy of Josh Groban's new Christmas CD - Noel . It's a good one, folks. Classic holiday music from such a wonderful vocalist... you'll like it, I promise. I just want one movie line. Not your three favorite... not a paragraph. Just one line. The one you find yourself repeating. The one that makes you laugh every time. Your very favorite movie line of all time. And if you're the first person to name the movie my title is from, you'll get an extra entry in the drawing. Now, let's hear it.

Are you ready for this?

How did it get to be Wednesday? Seriously. There aren't enough hours in the day - even when you're up at 2:00 am. And no - I didn't get up at 2:00 this morning. I slept all the way until 5:00! Anywho - I decided I needed something new to blog. Something to shake you all out of your 'thoughts from the deep recesses' stupor. Something to get your blood pumping and your fingers tingling. Something to inspire long and meaningful comments. From you. My beloved readers. It's a new weekly Thoughts From the Deep Recesses feature. It's "Getting to Know you Wednesday" Now this could either be lots of fun, or it could just totally flop, and I could go to bed crying because my blog readers are a bunch of takers who only come here to read and never interact. Like a piece of fresh fruit, you squeeze the juice out of my hard-written and well thought out posts and then you toss them aside, wandering on to the next blog with a simple click of your mouse. You read

Phlumpyschlumpy.

Good morning, peeps. It's Friday. There's frost outside this morning. *FROST!* This week has been ridiculously chilly. I'm having mixed feelings about blogging lately. Mostly because I feel like all I've been doing is whine about being tired. Or overwhelmed. And because comments are lacking. And because I can't seem to think about anything to write about except Tejan. And because some of the thoughts I'm having are too private for the blog - or too repetitive. Or too unformed to turn into actual words you all could understand. So I'm struggling a bit. And yet, I'm committed to documenting the process I'm in. So I'll keep writing when the words come. And when they don't, like this morning, when I looked at that intimidating blinking cursor and my mind went blank and I started to break out in a cold sweat and began by talking about the weather... well, then, I'll just gracefully (or not so gracefully) back out of the room... tail between m