Growing pains

Anyone who knows E. knows Lovey Bear... The only one of my children to embrace a stuffed animal (or blanket or other such "security" item), E. has slept with this guy for almost five years. It's been quite awhile that I've been worried about Lovey's condition. I used to wash him regularly - E. would suck on his ears and then get upset when they dried all crunchy and hard, so into the wash he would go. He would always come out all fresh and soft... but I had to stop washing him for fear that all that tumbling would cause permanent damage. His tags, which have been the most 'soothing' part of Lovey, have been rubbed together every night as E. fell asleep, creating a tiny hole near where they're inserted into his left leg.

Lovey has become the definition of threadbare. He is SO worn out - if he got a bigger hole in him, there would be no way to sew it up - there just isn't enough fabric to work with.

With this in mind, I told E. last night that we were going to have to think about putting Lovey on a shelf so he didn't break. Oh - the tears! It's so sweet - and yet there was just nothing I could do but insist that it was for the best. I told him he didn't have to do it right away, but that for sure before he turned 6, (in less than four months) we would have to put the much-loved bear up for good.


After about 20 minutes in bed, I heard E. calling me, so I got up and went to his room. In his bravest big boy voice, he told me "This day is the day I'll do it. I'm ready." I had negoitated a new bear into the bargain, so we agreed that we would take a trip to the store in the morning to find a new special bear, and a shelf we could install above his bed where Lovey could always watch over him.

So today we went. Target has LOTS of cheap stuffed animals - narrowing the choices down took at least 10 minutes. After eliminating all the kitties and puppies (and fish) that initially caught his eye, we narrowed it down to two bears. He gave them both the "snuggle test". The smaller of the two won out, and he immediately named it "Lovey Bear Two".

I'm personally feeling a little threatened by this new little furball. He certainly doesn't have any of Lovey's charm - he's like a little imposter... especially with the name. We all tried to convince E. that a new, totally different name would be better, but he insisted on the LB2 name. In an amazing show of maturity and acceptance of life's hard facts, E. has totally embraced the new kid on the bed.

LB2 was put to the test right away, as E. did the worst Goins' kid face-plant to date in the Target parking lot. I heard his head 'thunk' on the ground and was sure we'd be dealing with broken teeth or a split open chin. I was relieved to see that while it was extremely bloody, it didn't warrant a trip to the ER. Poor boy has major road rash all over his face, and his nose will most likely be bruised, but he's okay. We pulled the new bear out of the shopping bag as soon as we remembered he was there, and E. embraced him in his best 'I need you' hug, and took comfort from the substitute bear as easily as if it were the original.

We still need to install the honorary Lovey shelf above the bed. I know we will all take comfort knowing this loyal little guy will be nearby as E. sleeps each night. I don't understand it, but it's harder for me to let him go onto the shelf than it is for my baby. It reminds me of how disappointed I was each time I weaned one of the kids that it wasn't harder for them to let go of that special nursing ritual... or of when we told E. he had to get rid of his pacifier and he took it and threw it into the garbage.

It's all about watching my babies grow up.

Does it ever get any easier?

Maybe I'll sleep with Lovey tonight.