Skip to main content

Holding onto 5

S. has a birthday on Friday and will be turning 9 - so I suppose I should be posting about her - but I'm not. Instead I'll be writing about my baby, who only has a little less than a month of being 5 left...

I don't know why that transition from 5 to 6 is so big to me... it's when my little ones become kids in my mind I think. There's no fooling anyone that I have preschoolers anymore - they're all KIDS - with permanent teeth coming in all big and scary lookin' in their little mouths... with amazing vocabularies and no more cute little mispronounced words... Having my youngest leave all that behind leaves me a little shell shocked and bewildered.

Last night as I was tucking him in this was his prayer:
"Dear Jesus - thank you for this day. Thank you that we're all home safe. Thank you that I had a good day at school and Daddy had a good day at work. Help me to be responsible since I'm the leader of the boy club at school. Help me have good dreams and pleasant dreams. In Jesus' name, Amen."

Help me to be responsible? From a five year old? Wow! Yes, Jesus, help him to be responsible.

Then somehow our little bedtime talk took a turn and he started to worry about something happening to me. He asked, "Mommy, what if you die tomorrow?"

At first I just tried to make light of it - "Oh, nothing's going to happen to Mommy tomorrow..."

"But what if it does???" he asked through great heaving, barely-contained sobs. I pulled his fuzzy little head into my arms and held him tight and said what I always say when one of my kids is afraid:

"You need to not worry about things. When I'm feeling afraid I remember what the Bible says and I try to think about the things I know are TRUE. What do you know is true?"

He sucked in a big shaking breath and said "God loves me."

"That's right. And God is always with you, watching out for you. God always has a plan for you, right?"

"Right," he answered.

"Whenever we're scared, we need to remember those things. What else do you know is true?"

He looked up at me with his big, sincere, teary blue eyes and said, "John Kerry lost."

Don't ask me where that one came from. That election was a whole year ago - and while I knew my older two were very interested in the political process, and how we elect a new president, I had no idea my then four-year-old was even paying attention.

At least his comment changed the mood in the room, because I burst out in a huge belly laugh, which brought a smile to his face and helped him forget about his worries.

I treasure this little boy so much.

If I could save time in a bottle... well, you know how it goes...

Comments

  1. Funny!! My baby 6yo just turned 7!!! I know how you feel.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12:05 PM

    Kids are so funny. Isn't it interesting the way their thoughts process. What a turnaround. So sweet.

    I bemoan the fact that my kids are so close to leaving my nest. I wish I had the years of 5,6,7, even 8 back. *sigh* It makes me happy that they are growing to be adults, but it makes me so sad that they aren't my babies anymore. Your words struck a chord with me today. This has been weighing heavy on my mind.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love it when people talk back...

Popular posts from this blog

Look at this!

Happy Birthday Cathy! , originally uploaded by Pink Paper Peppermints . All of these sweet bloggy friends threw me a cyber-birthday party! How fun is that? Thank you, dear friends. I am touched. It's really just what I needed today. Sweet Tanya even made me a cake. If you want to follow the party around cyber-space, you can go to Melissa's blog to see everyone who is participating.

Getting to know you Wednesday

So it's been awhile. But I thought hearing from ya'll might cheer up my little snow encrusted Spokane self. So today, if I get at least 12 comments, I'll randomly pick one and send that lucky commenter any CD from Your Music . Whatever you want. So today, in light of mid-winter doldrums, I want you to answer the following three questions. To escape mid-winter doldrums, I like to: My favorite winter memory is: I know Spring is coming when: Okay, friends. Now it's your turn. Go to it.

The floodgates have opened.

So, I was doing pretty well managing my emotions. I kept telling people that I had processed a lot of my grieving over Tejan's departure back in January - when we were so close to saying goodbye... and so that must be why I wasn't feeling overly emotional about it this time around. I hadn't shed any tears. Hadn't choked up in that strange, overwhelming way where I feel like my whole head is filling up with fluid and my throat is so constricted I'm just sure I'm going to die. Nope. I was doing just fine. And then I went out to dinner with some girlfriends. And while I was a little socially inept because I'm a kind of overwhelmed and not really wanting to talk too much lately (perhaps in subconscious fear that I might touch on a nerve that would cause my aforementioned steely resolve to crumble) I thought I got through the evening fairly well. I didn't tear up - or need tissue for any fluids defiantly leaking from my facial orifices... until I made the a...