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So here's what I think

Alrighty then.

I've been thinking a lot about this issue and I just need to type it out. Put it out there. Process it through my fingers, which tends to be the best way for me to think through things.

So here goes.

God loves homosexuals.

Now, that may seem an obvious statement to some people, and it may be uncomfortable for others. Or you may agree, but not really want to deal with the messiness that comes along with a statement like that... but whatever your reaction, it is true.

Somehow, through the course of my life, God has chosen to connect me with many people who have had to deal with sexual issues - either as a childhood victim, or as an adult who is fighting the battle over sexual addiction, pornography or homosexuality. I've met scores of victims of molestation, women whose husbands choose porn over them, and men who are attracted to other men. I didn't ask for this - in fact, I doubt there are many people who would sign up for this kind of "ministry." But here I am, and together, Asia and I have befriended and counseled many people over the years for whom sexual "normalcy" is a struggle.

Lately, it's been homosexuals. Gay men somehow keep showing up in our lives. Gay men who love God. Yes - it's true.

Now, with my conservative religious upbringing, that would seem to be a complete impossiblity. After all, if you love God, why would you choose to disregard so blatently His design for sex?

The older I get and the more of these men I meet though, the more I see that the church is doing a huge disservice to gay men. (And women, I'm sure, but I don't have the personal experiences with lesbians that I've had with gay men.)

Here's what I think. Nature vs. Nurture isn't the issue. I don't think it matters whether there is a "gay gene" or not. What matters is there is a whole demographic that we have neglected to love because of the nature of their sin. Yes - I believe homosexual sex is sin. But so is premarital sex and extramarital sex. Somehow, we are able to forgive and love people who miss the mark in those areas of sexual sin, but so many fundamental Christian churches absolutely turn their backs on those who struggle with homosexual sin.

The fact is - I believe so many Christians are so disgusted by the notion of a man having sex with another man that they cannot fathom showing the love of Christ to someone who would do that. When truth be told, it's just another sin on the long list of sins that separate us from God.

Certainly, the natural consequences of sexual sin are often more severe than the consequences of the "more accepted" sins. But your anger or your grumbling will keep you out of heaven the same way homosexual sex will keep someone else out - short of the grace of God. Your selfishness and pride are the same sins that sent Jesus to the cross as someone's lust. We're all in need of mercy and grace and not one of us can stand before God without the atonement made for us by Christ.

So what do we do with gay people?

I believe we need to reach out to them. Love them. Welcome them into our homes and our churches and let them talk about their struggles. Hold hands with them as we worship together and take communion with them and accept them with all their messy struggles. 'Cause it's messy, folks.

If this makes you uncomfortable, answer me this:
If they don't feel the love of God in the church, where are they ever going to feel it?

We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. And I believe if He were here today, he would be actively pursuing and loving gay people. Sharing meals with them. Laughing with them. Calling them his brothers. And then, telling them to go and sin no more.

Sin no more. What does that look like for a gay man?

That's the messy part. Because the truth is, they may cause a terrible amount of damage if they choose to get married to a woman in an effort to squelch their homosexuality. I don't believe this is a struggle that God chooses to "deliver" people from completely - at least not often. Usually, it is a life long struggle. A thorn in the flesh, if you will.

So if they shouldn't get married, basically, we're asking them to live not just a celibate life - but a celibate life with no hope of ever being able to connect wholeheartedly with another person. A celibate life without the possibility of finally meeting that "special someone" someday. I think the difficulty there is less about the sex and more about the loneliness.

That sucks.

So, if we hold that homosexuality is a sin, and that homosexuals must deny their urges, then the church darn well better be there to embrace and love and provide a home for these people. Because I can't think of a more difficult cross to bear.

Bear one another's burdens.

The church embraces recovering alchoholics, pregnant teens, ex-cons who found Jesus in jail, moms who yell at their kids, husbands who are fighting a battle with internet porn, and a myriad of other sinners.

Why don't we love the gay people?

Comments

  1. amen. i think you hit the nail on the head. it's something every church needs to pray about, because even in the small communities that think 'that could never happen here', sexual sin of all types runs rampant. we can't put on our blinders - we have to love them - all of them - through it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous2:38 PM

    One of my favorite authors of all times - a man who knew intimacy and the love of the Father - struggled with homosexuality and even just spoke out that he was gay...and chose Christ over his flesh urges. He has been an inspiration and a prophetic voice to the world and I just have loved getting to know his heart through his writings- even with his brokenness so open and not hidden. He was a true man of God and has forever changed the world for his extreme love and intimate relationship with God. This man was Henri Nouwen and I am excited to someday meet him in heaven and say thank you for books like "Life of the Beloved" and "The Wounded Healer".
    I, like you, Cathy, have had a complete heart change as I look at the brokenness of people and see Jesus' light shining more brightly through their broken pieces than the many white washed tombs that have a form of godliness but deny it's power....I don't care what the "sin" is...I am truly drawn to every child of God journeying to wholeness and even getting "stuck" on the way- I am inspired and find that many of these ones have taught me more about life and dependence on the Spirit, pain and a very peculiar grace that I hope to experience more deeply as I lay down my judgements and expectations....thank you Jesus for opening our eyes to a peculiar grace, please allow us to live in it as well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous3:05 PM

    Cath, I'm so not offended by your observations. In fact, I agree with practically every single thing you said (couldn't have said it better myself). And, I love you more for stating that you feel this way. God is loving. That's the bottom line. He doesn't pick favorites and he doesn't choose those who are less deserving. He loves EVERY SINGLE PERSON. We are all made in his image. We are all His children. And I just can't believe that he would love someone less than someone else. So, yeah, I love your observations.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous11:57 AM

    AMEN sister...preach it!! Job well done. Thanks for opening some thoughts up in my foggy head.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous11:36 AM

    Cathy,

    I know this is an older post, but I just had to say how much I appreciate your openess and your beautiful heart. I couldn't agree more with you on this subject and you stated it so beautifully.

    I feel so sad and even angry when I hear other Christians spewing hate towards human beings that Jesus *died* for just because that particular sin is more bothersome to them. To God it is all the same. We have *all* sinned and fallen short of His Glory.

    It is just so good to hear another Christian (besides my husband)be bold enough to say this.

    I
    am
    so
    glad
    I
    met
    you.

    :)

    M~

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks for sending me this, Cathy. You and I are looking at this from EXACTLY the same angle! I have one non-Christian friend from college who is a homosexual. If I am judgemental, what are the chances he would ever see Christ as loving? So I have never pooh-poohed him in his relationship struggles because it is something that I don't agree with. Emotions are real and valid, even when the situation is wrong. God values him. I value him.

    I have a second-cousin who was part of a lesbian relationship for quite some time, and is now married happily, and one of the women I admire most for her heart and walk with God. Her testimony is so powerful, and if her sister and brother had not kept showing her the love of Christ, she would not be where she is today, and witnessing to those still in the same situation.

    God is so cool. Every person, by our nature, is completely flawed, even those "heroes" of the Bible. This is so comforting to me. He can still use me, even though I am so flawed. Believing we can't be used because of our sins is a lie the devil foists upon us. Especially homosexuals, I think, because their sexual tendencies are regarded as so vile by other Christians.

    How do we spread awareness of this need to other Christians? Thanks for blogging this, to help open people's eyes.

    ReplyDelete

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