Thursday, September 13, 2007

Home safe and sound

Hi friends.

We're home. A day early.

Surgery went well. No complications - and they were able to do what they set out to do.

We had a rough night last night - with T. waking up every couple of hours in pain... then fighting the pain meds because he didn't like the taste, and then having to wait a half hour for the meds to start working while he moaned and cried. It was exhausting, to say the least.

I found myself at about 3:00 am pretty convinced that I was going to have to have a good solid cry... but I managed to hold it together ...mmmmostly. I was just so tired. And struggling with knowing how best to comfort him... With my own kids I would have just crawled into bed and snuggled up next to them to hold them tight until they settled down. But there are some pretty major cultural differences we face with Tejan, and that wouldn't have worked for him. I'm thankful that prayer and scripture has a calming effect on him... he loves to have stories read from the bible.

We are managing his pain pretty well today - or so it appears. We'll see how the night goes, as he was much better in the daytime yesterday as well and didn't really struggle with the pain until night. I'm praying for better rest for both of us tonight. I'll be up a couple of times to give him medicine, but other than that, I'm looking forward to at least a few solid hours in my own bed.

He is up and walking with a walker... he does pretty well with it. He needs to take it easy for six weeks - which means no bike riding and no soccer. We'll fight that battle as we come to it... I'm sure it will be difficult for this very active boy.

All in all I'm feeling a little more empowered tonight than I was in the wee hours... it's good to be home, where the kids help distract him from being sore and I've got my sweet husband to shore me up.

And just so you all understand, I'm no great hero for taking this on. It's just what I knew in my heart God had for me. I can take no credit for it. Honestly - the drive to provide a safe place for him is as real to me as it would be if one of my own children had these needs. You just do it. You just face what comes, knowing that God miraculously prepares and strengthens and gives peace and wisdom. Have I enjoyed every moment? Not at all. Do I hear angels singing my praises day and night? Nope. Am I more spiritual in some way than the rest of you? No. NO!

No. But I do possess the gentle contentment of complete conviction that God brought me here.

And that in itself is enough blessing.

Even at 3:00 in the morning.
Even through my tears of inadaquacy.
And yes, even if I have to get up ten times tonight...

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:29 PM

    thank goodness you are home, i was so worried, i hope you get some sleep tonight and will call you friday, i hope Tejuan is able to sleep tonite also and gets better every day. achh


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