Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Weaning

So far this week I feel like there is this gentle weaning taking place.

Isn't that interesting?

Like God knew it would be easier for me to say goodbye to T. if it were more of a gradual process.

I didn't even know that.

But even this morning, as I am choosing to stay home for a bit before I run down to the hospital, there is this sweet awareness that my house is quieter without him, the laundry less overwhelming, and the fridge blatantly lacking in a tupperware full of rice - but I also know that he is just down the hill. And I get to go there in a bit and walk into his room and see his smile, which warms my heart beyond belief.

So even though I was overwhelmed and shocked by the turn of events we were faced with over the weekend, it has turned into this lovely blessing.

I will still have to say that final goodbye.

But I think it will be easier this time around. Because I already spent so much time fretting about it, and now there is a serenity I feel and amazing gratitude in my heart for this extra little bit of time that we get.

God is so good.

7 comments:

  1. Just reading today's entry has put a smile with a little tear in my eye...I am so glad that you feel the gentleness of God in this - and that you are being allowed a little adjustment period...so good.
    Hey, I am getting ready to celebrate Cathy day - whatcha going to do that's special? You only turn 39 once you know..miss you and will be thinking of you today on Ash Wednesday - Lent has begun...I think you are doing your special fast already.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I often think of the verse that says "What father would give his son a snake when he asks for a loaf of bread?"

    It's sometimes hard to trust that He knows what He's doing. I mean, we know it intellectually, but smack in the middle of a situation, it doesn't FEEL like it. Thank you for sharing about your realization that this delay is a good thing. (It's also a good thing because imagine what would have happened if he'd gone back to Sierra Leone. He might have gotten osteomyelitis and gone septic and maybe died. And then people could have said "Look what happened, he went to America and he got sicker." Things worked out for the best for everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6:57 PM

    so happy you found some peace. Been thinking about you lots!

    ReplyDelete
  4. whoops, that was me up there.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, that's pretty neat! I am happy to see that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. And I am so glad that you are feeling better about having to say goodbye.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tawnya5:51 PM

    Girl you are so strong. I have read your last couple of entries and seriously I am left humbled by your amazing character. You truly are one amazing woman with a huge heart. The Lord has truly used you to make a difference.

    I keep thinking of the song...

    YOU RAISE ME UP
    (Brendan Graham / Rolf Lovland)

    Josh Groban

    Also recorded by: Enrique Chia; Ryan Corbin; Tommy Fleming;
    Andrew Ishee; Aled Jones; Brian Kennedy; Daniel O'Donnell;
    The O'Neill Brothers; Ivan Parker; Secret Garden; Selah;
    Sissel; Ronan Tynan; Sheila Walsh; Russell Watson.


    When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary
    When troubles come and my heart burdened be
    Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
    Until you come and sit awhile with me.

    You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
    You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
    I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
    You raise me up... to more than I can be.
    You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
    You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
    I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
    You raise me up... to more than I can be.

    You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
    You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas
    And I am strong, when I am on your shoulders
    You raise me up... to more than I can be.
    You raise me up... to more than I can be.

    Love you. You Rock!

    ReplyDelete

I love it when people talk back...