I read through the whole thing last night.
And I'm freaked right out.
I honestly can't believe I'm actually going to do this.
So I'm going to start writing out my fears, and if you're the praying sort, you can start praying. Because if there's one thing I learned when Tejan was here - it's that being prayed for is the best thing in all the world. Especially in the midst of fear and confusion.
So here we go:
- I'm nervous about the hours and hours and hours of travel. I don't sleep well in my own bed. How will I ever sleep on a plane? And how will I ever be effective in Sierra Leone if I arrive totally sleep deprived?
- I'm concerned about getting sick. Travel is never good for my digestive system - and when you add strange diseases and new germs to the mix I'm afraid I'm going to be miserable.
- I'm going with a team of people I've never met (except for one) and I won't meet them until the day we fly out. I won't have Asia to be my social liason. How will I do with these total strangers?
- What in the world do I take on a trip to Africa? Which shoes? Which clothes? Do I take makeup? What will I do with my hair? Am I going to take my contacts along or just wear my glasses the whole time?
- How am I ever going to manage to say goodbye to Tejan again?
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Frankly, I'm could easily be consumed with fear and doubt. But I don't really want to go there. I want to trust God with all of this... but it's so hard. I couldn't sleep last night while all of these questions ran through my mind...
It's really scary to walk into another venture when I know God will use it to break my heart even further...
So if you're the praying sort...