I sit here in my living room on my forty-first birthday.
The kids have left for school.
Asia is in Seattle.
I had an intern meeting at 5:30 am... to which I brought freshly baked scones - in honor of myself.
Savannah loaded the dishwasher for me this morning, but she couldn't find any dishwasher detergent so she loaded the soap dispenser with Jet Dry. Not sure what that load will come out like.
Ethan broke a glass this morning.
There is a single present on my kitchen table - a gift from my receptionist at my Weight Watcher's meeting yesterday. I saved it for today because I knew there was an odd absence of presents at home. Asia didn't take the kids to buy me anything, and since he's out of town, I don't have real high hopes that there will be any gifts to open later today.
I'm driving over tomorrow to spend a couple of days with Asia... a sort of birthday present to myself, I suppose.
I really love birthdays. Sort of feel like they should be well-celebrated... my Mom always bought us our favorite flavor of Pop Tarts for our birthdays... so right from the get-go, you knew it was a special day. Pop Tarts and Lucky Charms... the breakfast of champions... or at least a fun birthday breakfast.
So while my taste has changed a bit from sugar loaded processed food to homemade scones fresh from the oven, I still want to start and end the day with a celebration.
And even though the actual day today is shaping up to be just a bit lame, I'll still celebrate.
Beacuse life is good.
And I'm SO blessed.
And I'm so glad to be 41.
I'll take 41 over 21 any day.
Because at 41 I have a confidence and strength I didn't even know existed in my younger years. I have a better understanding of God's grace - and a heart that pushes me to do the hard stuff without worrying about preserving my self - and full confidence in God's ability to take care of me.
I guess I can say I am learning to live without fear... to really trust... to live in the moment... to embrace all of the journey...
So on this quiet, sort of lonely birthday, I'm celebrating another year of life.
And thanking God for His faithfulness to me all along the way.
I walk into a new year with arms outstretched - my face toward the sun - and a heart open to all the possibilities of the next 365 days.
Happy birthday to me.