Monday, September 30, 2013

Settling in

Life has it's way of ebbing and flowing...

This past summer was a deep ebb... a back flow of purpose and vision and a time of flagging ambition and confusion. The tide was low. I struggled to find the resolve to push past my perceived lack of relevance. I questioned my function and found a deep boredom settling in. Looking ahead to the continued 'moving away' of my children, I feared a complete loss of vision and knew it would be necessary to redefine my ambitions or I could easily be left dry and shriveled on the shore.

I'm so thankful to my dear husband and the friends who helped me find value in this forced retreat from what I've known for so long.

I began to see it as an opportunity instead of a loss.

And then, slowly, opportunity came.

And gratefulness began to permeate my thoughts.

And hope filled my bones.

God met me in a lonely place and said "But look here..." and I beheld a vision full of purpose and intention and promise.

And so now I lean into new opportunities and notice the beauty in the changes with which I'm faced.

The constancy of God's promises has carried me through a deep sadness and shown me that even when I feel lost, confused and hurt - He is still good.

There have been many opportunities in the past month to take my eyes off of myself and give of my time and my heart to others. Asia and I have both been called upon by dear people in our lives who are hurting in deep, deep ways. There have been many phone calls and front porch/back deck conversations with sweet, sad, bruised souls. It is such an honor to be an encouragement - a pointer to truth - a friend. In some cases it's been very close to home and the reminder to lean heavily on God's grace and mercy is SUCH a good thing. Resting in God's goodness regardless of life's circumstances is always the best place to be.

There has been a generous provision as well in terms of work - a new challenge - an affirming opportunity that is pushing me beyond what has become comfortable and teaching me new, exciting things. I'm so thankful for renewed vision and a new charge with added responsibility and fun new perks. I have so much to look forward to in the coming months and years and am so thankful for the chance to grow professionally.

So it's safe to say, life is flowing again for me. In so many areas there is a vibrancy that escaped me all summer long... and I'm grateful for the pendulum that swings wide and slow and with perfect timing.

Life is good. Suffering is good. Change is good. Low tide is good. God is good.

I'm thankful for the reminder.

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