Skip to main content

Empty / Full

The house is emptier than it's ever been.

With vacant rooms and clean floors and only a little bit of laundry to fold.

We're one dog less, one boy/man less, one daughter with a new car and a license less.

We've walked through other losses recently, having to accept hard new realities.

If deafeningly quiet and my heart has felt despair many, many days.

I've had many, many hours to ponder and mourn.


Today, I feel a teeny bit of hope.

Hope in the courage to finally clear out an empty room, packing away remnants of a childhood.

Hope in dreaming about how that space could provide an opening for new possibilities.

Hope in healing.

Hope in purpose.


I'm believing again in Faithfulness and Provision and Love.

Feeling a renewed desire for the One who gives and takes away.

Finding more satisfaction in the gift of being a vessel of encouragement and hope.


The darkness lifts to reveal a bright future.

And a merciful Guide.


In this empty house.

Full of Grace.

Comments

  1. Deb Peabody2:47 PM

    So get it!! All changes bring some mourning in the midst of hope. But the next several years to come will be full of college and degrees, finding the "one" and weddings and then you get to the glorious stage of grandbabies!! Every stage of life as its challenges and rich blessings.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love it when people talk back...

Popular posts from this blog

Phlumpyschlumpy.

Good morning, peeps. It's Friday. There's frost outside this morning. *FROST!* This week has been ridiculously chilly. I'm having mixed feelings about blogging lately. Mostly because I feel like all I've been doing is whine about being tired. Or overwhelmed. And because comments are lacking. And because I can't seem to think about anything to write about except Tejan. And because some of the thoughts I'm having are too private for the blog - or too repetitive. Or too unformed to turn into actual words you all could understand. So I'm struggling a bit. And yet, I'm committed to documenting the process I'm in. So I'll keep writing when the words come. And when they don't, like this morning, when I looked at that intimidating blinking cursor and my mind went blank and I started to break out in a cold sweat and began by talking about the weather... well, then, I'll just gracefully (or not so gracefully) back out of the room... tail between m...
21 comments
Read more

The floodgates have opened.

So, I was doing pretty well managing my emotions. I kept telling people that I had processed a lot of my grieving over Tejan's departure back in January - when we were so close to saying goodbye... and so that must be why I wasn't feeling overly emotional about it this time around. I hadn't shed any tears. Hadn't choked up in that strange, overwhelming way where I feel like my whole head is filling up with fluid and my throat is so constricted I'm just sure I'm going to die. Nope. I was doing just fine. And then I went out to dinner with some girlfriends. And while I was a little socially inept because I'm a kind of overwhelmed and not really wanting to talk too much lately (perhaps in subconscious fear that I might touch on a nerve that would cause my aforementioned steely resolve to crumble) I thought I got through the evening fairly well. I didn't tear up - or need tissue for any fluids defiantly leaking from my facial orifices... until I made the a...
11 comments
Read more

Thirty-Seven

It's my birthday. So in celebration, I'm going to post thirty seven random happy memories from my thirty seven years on earth. If you get bored around number twenty, you're more than welcome to leave. But I'd be happier if you posted one of your favorite memories from my thirty seven years in the comments section. That would make me really happy. Okay, here goes. This morning when K. came into my room and said "How do you like your eggs? Scrambled or cheesy omelet?" The summer I spent in California with my brother when I was sixteen. It was the last summer he was single and we spent our weekends together enjoying all that Southern California has to offer... very fun. Sneaking into the senior lawn in the middle of the night with all my high school girlfriends to spray paint a huge "87" on the lawn. We had to take ladders to get over a huge covered outdoor hallway - so sneaky and fun. Sleeping on the beach in San Diego with my friends Paul, Corey and A...
14 comments
Read more