thoughts from the deep recesses

So we were at a 40th birthday party over the weekend (lots more of those happening lately it seems...) - good burgers, great salads and that huge chocolate cake that Costco sells. These friends have kids all the same ages as ours, so they were all happily playing together, making good use of the boys' new "Darth Vader voice changer" and the trampoline. At one point though, I see E. in the middle of the adults' circle of chairs, with the whole front of his shorts clearly soaked with mystery liquid. "Hmmm", I think, "that looks suspicious..." I quietly call him over and ask what happened to his shorts, and responds, in full voice of course, "Oh, I was peeing and it got all over the front of my pants." I take his hand and lead him quietly to a bedroom and close the door, then find a pair of shorts we can borrow from their 6 year old son. I'm helping him change, when out of the blue, he looks me in the eye and says, "Raise your hand ...

Okay - so I'm struggling with this whole issue of discontentment with my house... while I see it completely as a gift from God, there are things about it that really bug me... I REALLY want a master bath - the older the kids get, the more I wish I didn't have to come out of my room to go into the bathroom - it's a PRIVACY thing My old kitchen, huge as it is, just isn't pretty and new - I want a wood floor and gorgeous cabinetry and nice furniture My concrete basement just feels dirty all the time - I hate that there is a part of my house that the kids call "the dark and scary room..." My backyard is a wasteland of weeds with a rotten ugly fence. My back bathroom has pink tile - 'nuff said. My garage is literally held up with 2x4's propped up into the rafters. My main bathroom is the size of a kleenex. So there you have it - my list. And what do I want? A clean, new kitchen without old, stiff drawers and scary stuff under the sink. A nice big bathroom, ...

So today I worked my normal shift at the store, and now I'm off, and the kids are off, and Asia's off until TUESDAY!!! Love long weekends. And the weather is supposed to be PHENOMENAL!!! Maybe we'll go buy a new pool for the kids - the last one endured three summers and is extremely saggy... it just won't hold air anymore. I found a grill for Asia this morning at a garage sale - he's had his eye on the nice stainless steel ones at Costco - they run anywhere from about $400 to $800... Found a great one just like the ones he's been looking at for $135... brought it home and cleaned it up a bit and we're having steaks this weekend! Ryan is coming tonight to stay the weekend with us. Our little brother/son/friend/ex-roomie - it's always great to have him here. I'm hoping we can be an encouragement to him and just show him lots of love... he's so fun to have as part of our extended family. The kids don't know he's coming, so they'll be sur...

Okay, so regardless of how I feel about summer, it's coming. Today is E's last day of preschool and the other two have about 2 1/2 weeks left until their vacation starts. I've implemented a great "summer school" system the last two years with the kids, which has helped our summers tremendously, but I'm realizing if I don't get on the ball, I'm not going to be ready for them when school is out... it takes a lot of work to prepare a summer's worth of lessons and activities. So, today I'm off to the library to get some books for ideas - science projects are always high on their list of favorites - and I need help coming up with those for sure... art projects are easy - I save ideas all year that I want to try with them. I'm thinking this summer we'll do a photo journal for each of them, where they get to take a picture each day of whatever they want, and write about it... love the digital camera for things like that... I'm also hoping ...

Okay - so it's a strange time of year for a pumpkin desert. But I found a recipe for a pumpkin apple streusel coffee cake and it's in the oven now - and it smells FABULOUS!!! I LOVE fall - with it's smells and darkness and cool mornings and evenings. The colors. The hunkering down inside with books and coffee and the kids back in school... So why write about fall in May? Because to be completely honest - I'm not a huge summer fan. Sure - it's great to be outside - to touch bases with all the neighbors and take long walks in the evening....but...the days are sometimes ENDLESSLY long. The kids get bored of swimming. We don't have AC and I hate sleeping in a hot house. I feel guilty about my unmanicured backyard. It's just a LONG season and I lose interest. But here we go anyway. Maybe I need some sort of challenge to push me through the summer - something to look forward to every day - some way of finding something interesting in each day... maybe a scrapbook...

SO much going on today - with the kids' walkathon that was supposed to be last week but got postponed for a thunderstorm that never materialized, piano recital rehearsals, the actual recital, preschool, laundry, feeding kids on the run all day and being the responsible scrapbooking mom and getting all the right pictures of it all. Phew. Makes me tired just typing it all. I'd better go get in the shower.

It's Sunday, and the piles around my kitchen are driving me crazy. Somehow, on the weekends when everyone is home, stuff just ends up everywhere. After being the manager of my household for going on thirteen years, you'd think I'd know better, but I still sort of think that since everyone is home, everyone should pick up their own CRAP!!! It never works that way, though, and by Sunday evening, there is literally stuff everywhere. Newspapers, dirty clothes, empty drink bottles, half finished puzzles, school papers, projects, garage sale finds, mail, toys, books, food... you name it, it's on my kitchen counter or floor or island or table. If it's a flat surface, it's covered. I have a tendency to get really cranky on Sundays around 5:00. I just can't stand it anymore and I get really irritated that it doesn't bug anyone but me. I know, I should just stay on top of it through the weekend, and not let it get that way, but I honestly sort of think that it sho...

So today I've been cleaning like a madwoman - we're having company from Boise this weekend and I have to work all day tomorrow. I've been on my hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor (a huge task in my 350 sq. ft. space...), cleaning rugs, vacuuming (getting the hose out and everything...) and I'm worn out. My right hand is shaking from all the scrubbing. Anyway, so I'm cleaning away, thankful that the S. and E. are occupied in some imaginary world - they've been playing this little game for over and hour and they get along so well... I'm casually listening to their "conversation" - mostly things like "Let's say you were a princess and I locked you up in a dungeon..." or "how 'bout you find a magic sword but only I know how to use it..." when they come walking past my scrubbing self and I hear E. ask S. "Is she the janitor?" Great. In their make believe world of princesses and swords and rescues and happi...

Okay, so I've kind of avoided posting here, just because I don't really like my blog - the way it looks and I can't figure out really how to change it... But today I got a comment!!! It motivates me somehow to go ahead and post more often. Thena, I don't know how you found me here, but thanks so much for noticing me and responding to what, in retrospect, sounds like a desperately lonely housewife rant... So, once again, I resolve to do this silly little thing called a blog, and maybe I'll actually figure out how to make it pretty too...