thoughts from the deep recesses

Valentine's Day has never been a big deal around here... both Asia and I sort of rebel against the whole 'Hallmark' holiday thing... that just because someone's marketing 'love' doesn't mean we have to buy into it. We love each other 365 days a year... But - I am acutely aware of Love today... This week I have experienced love at a really core level as we have grieved. Here are just a few ways I've received grace this week... On Monday, I received flowers and a plate of banana bread from one girlfriend, and a whole loaf of banana bread from another. (Note to self: bring banana bread when someone loses a pet... it's just the right thing.) We got a sympathy card from the pet emergency clinic with a handwritten note. They didn't have to do that. But it was very sweet. I realize they send that to everyone who has to put their pet down... but I felt cared for and appreciated it very much. I needed to sweep the kitchen floor on Tuesday... u

Our house is almost deafeningly quiet without Gracie here... I would never had said she was a noisy dog... but her absence reveals a silence we've probably never experienced here, even before she became a part of our family. I feel a little better every day... although I still find myself crying at random intervals throughout the day. She was just always there . And now she's not. Many people have asked what happened... Gracie was getting old... she was lame in one leg and hobbling quite often on another. She's been through a bloating episode and pancreatitis in her lifetime and we had agreed about a year ago that if she got sick again, we would not spend the money on treatment. Boxers have a life expectancy of 8 - 10 years and she turned 8 last August. Saturday she stopped eating. She was visibly in pain as she walked around the house. We took her down to pet emergency and they gave us antibiotics in case she was simply fighting an infection and gave her an inject

I'm stopping midway through a thorough whole house cleaning for an attitude adjustment and a little rest and thought I'd make a list. REASONS WHY IT'S GOOD WE LET OUR HOUSEKEEPER GO: There is a tremendous sense of pride in cleaning my own house... when it's finally done, I know I'll be REALLY happy. Everything is getting WAY cleaner than the housekeeper got it. She was good, and fairly inexpensive as far as housekeepers go, but she didn't attack the deep dirt with the same vigor that I find I am today. Our bathrooms haven't been this DEEP clean in ages... I've been struggling with being (keepin' it real, friends) lazy on my days off... WAY too much Pinterest. Movement is good... busy is good. 80's dance party Pandora station, baby. It keeps me movin'. I know Asia will be REALLY happy when he gets home. A happy husband is always good. Muscles. Seriously. Especially in my right hand. It's shaking as I type from all the scrubbing.