thoughts from the deep recesses

I'm feeling a bit pressured lately - lots on my mind and in my heart and also an underlying loneliness... it may be the change of seasons or the realization that my kids are growing up too too quickly or a depression trying to push it's way up and out. Whatever it is, I'm taking a break. I'll be back to blog in a week or two. I just need to be quiet for awhile. "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

My new purse is making me happy. I love the colors and the dangly bead thingy that hangs off one of the handles and that I can easily reach in to grab my phone when it rings. I also like that while it is open on top, it has a zippered pocket inside in which I can store my wallet. I love yourmusic.com. LOVE that I can stock up on CDs that I always thought would be cool to own but never wanted to pay $18.00 for. My latest shipment? The Cars: Complete Greatest Hits. I LOVE The Cars. "Drive" always reminds me of my first love. "Who's gonna drive you home...." Ahhhh. Great stuff. Feeling better after two days on the couch was great yesterday... I still find myself tiring quickly, but was able to get laundry done and the kitchen mopped and some groceries bought. I can only handle letting my house go for a couple of days and then something has to be done. The weather has been spectacular... cool nights and warm days and not a cloud in sight. The trees are just beginn...

1. I know people say things like this all the time, but can you even believe that September is almost over? Crazy. 2. Still sick. I spent most of last night with Kleenex stuffed up my nose. I've got the unpredictable faucet thing going on... you know, when you nose turns on like a faucet and stuff starts running out with no warning? Blech. 3. I went to water aerobics yesterday, even though I was sick. Felt great in the pool while I was working out. But geez. That took every last bit of energy out of me. I could barely drive home. Still, I LOVE water aerobics. LOVE it. It's the perfect combination of aerobic and resistance training. I can just feel the fat melting off my body when I do it. 4. I've decided that cinnamon is my favorite flavor. Of course, not just plain cinnamon (which is impossible to swallow - did you know that?) But cinnamon with sugar and ooey gooey bread of some sort? Yum. I'd choose that any day over chocolate, and I LOVE chocolate. 5. Asia and I are ...

All week last week I kept noticing people sniffling. And coughing. And losing their voices. Asia came home from Yakima on Thursday with the bug. He still hasn't kissed me yet... And I still caught it. So my voice hurts whenever I talk. And my throat burns. And I'm achy. Makes me just want to crawl in bed. Thank goodness for Nyquil. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend. I'll be okay in a few days, I suppose... sniffle cough

Made these delicious Ginger Cookies yesterday. Is there anything that says "fall" more than the smell of cookies baking? I let myself have one. Yum. It was a crazy busy day - from water aerobics, to errands, to PTG meetings, to preparing for classes, to playdates and soccer practice, then Bible Study and working in my studio until midnight. I got lots done. And there's lots to do today... two classes to teach, open house at the school, more prep work for a class on Saturday, cleaning the house, making dinner... and Asia comes home today! I think next week may slow down a bit. Maybe. Life is a wild ride, eh? Smooches, friends!

First of all, I took pictures to share with this post. And they won't upload. Can we all just sigh heavily together in frustration? As much as I like the free-ness of blogger, sometimes the picture issues drive me crazy. There. Vent over. Now I feel a little better. We had an injured Jack in the front yard this morning. (Remember, Jack is the name of every neighborhood squirrel - it was E's genious idea to name them all Jack so we don't get confused...) Poor thing had a broken back leg. Gracie, of course, wanted outside so she could have it for breakfast, and the kids all wanted me to rescue it and take it to the vet. I can hardly get Asia to pay the dog's vet bills - I know he'd freak if I took a squirrel to the vet. We watched it carefully, and it somehow managed to get up a tree with it's three good legs. It was gone when I got home from taking the kids to school. Poor thing. I doubt it can survive long. I'm just glad I didn't have to touch it, or b...

Monday, as you may know, is my favorite day of the week. It's the day I recover my house from the effects of the weekend, when things are left out and the general sense of peace and calm is ravaged by lots of little bodies roaming in and through and on top of everything. It's the day I pick up, breathe a sigh of contentment and think through the details of the week ahead. And today, it was to be the day I started my new workout routine... I'm going back to water aerobics. I LOVE water aerobics. Just me and all the 80 year old grannies whose knees can't handle other forms of exercise... No, seriously. It's a great workout - and it gets my body in shape faster and more effectively than any other exercise I've ever done. I love the combination of cardio and resistance you get from plunging through deep water. And the lack of sweat is a bonus... all in all, it's my favorite way to exercise. But this morning, K. woke up with a tummy ache. Said he felt like throwi...

1985. JV Squad Cheerleader. I never had any aspirations of being a cheerleader when I was a little girl. But at the end of my freshman year, there were only three girls who were going to try out for the JV squad, and somehow, my best friend and I got talked into trying out. We made the squad. And then we tried out for Varsity - and made it both our Junior and Senior years. I loved being a cheerleader. ***** ...thoughts I have when I see this picture: I was so skinny. (I thought I was fat.) This was the best uniform we ever had... we called them the Bumblebee sweaters. That's really a lot of hair. I really was just as young and innocent as I looked. Wasn't I clever, with my one shoelace purple and the other one gold? Back in 1985...

Gracie likes grapes. She's not very good at eating them, because they're round and they tend to pop out of her mouth before she can get her teeth on them, but she really likes them. Here's something I miss about Asia when he's gone: another set of ears to listen to K. This boy talks and talks and talks and talks and talks. "Mom, I know they're not real, but if I found a dragon egg, would you rather I found a blah blah blah dragon egg or a yadda yadda yadda egg?" and "When I get my next DS game, do you think I should get Big Brain Academy or the New Zelda?" or "When I form my band do you think our name should be Crazy Rotten Bean Farts or Fuzz?" and so on and so on and so on. I'm glad he talks to me, because I know in a few years he could very well go inside a shell of teen angst, but it's truly constant... and sometimes I need someone else to listen to him. Just for ten minutes of peace and quiet. Baby it's cold outside......

Yesterday afternoon, as the kids got home from school and everyone dove into the after-school routine, I noticed that E. was particularly whiney. He doesn't have homework yet, and since both K. and S. have piano lessons on Tuesdays, he usually plays in his room, or I'll let him play on the computer. Yesterday, none of that satisfied him. I was getting frustrated with his attitude, so I asked him, "Are you tired from school today?" His answer broke my heart. "Yes, Mommy. I'm not used to being at school all day and I miss you so much." The tears started and he continued as he crawled into my lap... "I want to be with you and I feel like crying but I can't cry at school because I'd be embarrassed and I want a peanut butter and honey sandwich in my lunch every day." Needless to say, we spent the afternoon snuggling on the couch and having some special 'Mommy time.' I had no idea he was struggling with his adjustment to those long fi...

Took E. to get a haircut last night, and then S. talked me into a new cut too... she has a field trip today to the fair, and wanted 'a new look.' Cute kids, if I do say so myself.... This one's a lousy picture, it was already getting dark outside and I had to use my flash... tried to correct the lighting, but this was the best I could do with the shot I got. You can at least see the shape of his head now - and how about those eyes? I didn't get a 'before shot of S... I didn't plan to get her hair cut when we were leaving the house, remember? You can see her hair before on my post from last week. This is a really cute new cut... so short and sassy... really lets her brown eyes and freckles show... another lousy picture... darn flash. You get the idea though. I'm teaching today. First time in five weeks. Good to get back in the swing of things. And make some money. Have a great Tuesday, friends!

I couldn't find my flag this morning. I can't imagine where it's gone, since I've always kept it in the same place. I really wanted to fly it today. Darn it. ***** Asia is gone this week. He left this morning at some awful hour to drive to Yak Vegas. I mean Yakima. He's been home for 11 days, so it's kind of funny to have him gone again. So far the traveling has only been good for us. Makes me really appreciate him when he's here. But to be completely honest, I kind of like when he's gone. I get to control the remote, scrapbook whenever I want and feed the kids salad for dinner. Plus, I sleep really well. LOVE having him home, but I don't mind at all when he's gone, either. And, he's started reading my blog. He never did before. But now he likes to check in and see what I'm up to. You should all say hi to him. 'Cause he reads the comments. The other day, he said "So who are Katy and Susie?" I tried to explain my internet b...

"Mom, what was the weirdest shape your poop was ever shaped?" "A question mark." "No way. Really?" "Yup." "All curled around and everything?" "Yup." "Hmmm. 'Cause mine was just a pyramid." Edited to add: I realize it may be shocking that I just divulged this to you. But come on, you've looked before . You just may not want to talk about it. That's okay . But this is my blog. And I can post whatever I want. And truly, I want to record life as it happens. And this just happened. Plus, it's pretty funny. Edited again to add: apparently my boys have pooped "meteors attacking the earth" and "a flower".

Busy weekend, people. I worked 9 1/2 hours yesterday, and was up at 4:00 am making samples for a stamp show this morning, then worked 10 hours today. I've hardly seen my kids or my husband since Thursday. Good day today though... A month or so ago, I was involved in the ordering of this little tool . Forty-eight of them. I was convinced that we could sell each and every one of them at this show. Last night, we demo'd it at the store. It did not go well. Two of them jammed. Fasteners were breaking and flying around the room. It was ugly. And I thought my boss was going to have a nervous breakdown. And I was convinced we were going to be stuck with a case of 48 Paper Taggers. I was freaked. So this morning, when I woke up at 4:00 am, I was crazy determined to find a way to sell these babies. And I knew, we needed samples. Lots and lots of samples. Lots of cute cards that these rubber-stamping women in North Idaho would be convinced they just had to be able to make at home. With ...

It's interesting to me how God chooses to change things about us that we perceived as deeply held facets of our personalities. You know - things that you have held as part of your identity. Your comfort zone. Your self . I have considered myself shy for many years. I did not think of myself as shy when I was young. But that was because I was always surrounded by people I knew. I had a very comfortable upbringing, with very little change. If someone new came into my world, I was never intimidated or scared or shy around them, because I was still surrounded by the comfort of those I knew. When I left the comfort of those surroundings, however, I discovered the shy part of me. The part who is terrible at small talk. Who fears silence. Who feels dorky and self conscious. Because Asia is SO outgoing, and SO comfortable engaging people, I've been able to hide behind his competency for many years. And it's worked for me, for the most part. But lately, I've found myself in situ...

I've taken tons of pictures lately and haven't had time to share... so today I'm going to innundate you with pics. Unfortunately, blogger doesn't make it easy for me to format pictures and text, so I'll give descriptions first... I know it's a little confusing that way. Sorry! 1. Asia and Gracie on our evening walk... we try to get out each night to let Gracie run. And boy, does she run. We are fortunate to have these huge playing fields at the end of our block where we can let her off the leash and let her go. Asia brings his phone so the kids can call if they need anything. Unfortunately, he ends up talking to his friends half the time. He is such a social butterfly - and unlike me, he doesn't mind talking on the phone. 2. Asia and the boys checking out the class lists at school. They post these the Friday before school starts. It's a tradition to walk over to the school that evening to see which teachers the kids got and which friends share a class ro...

Quiet house. Asia went into work late so we could walk the kids to school this morning... all three got the teachers they were hoping for. (All three got the teachers we were hoping for, which is more important...) Gracie and I are reveling in the quiet. I have SO many things I want to do today. And I have until 3:00 to get them done. Can you even imagine? I've already found myself looking at the clock, since last year I only had until 11:30 before I had to go get E. Now I've got until 3:00. It'll be 3:15 most days, when they'll walk home together. Today I want to go meet them so I can hear about their days on the walk home. E. was a little nervous last night at bedtime. Being at school all day - eating lunch there - making new friends. First grade is always the hardest transition, I think. It is for me, at least. It's hard to have this little one who's been by your side their whole life go off for 6 hours alone. I'll miss my little buddy. Really, it's ...

That sweet little thing is me, circa 1972 (or '73 - I'm really not sure.) I'm pretty sure my Mom made the dress. I lived on Dow Road. The best place in the world to grow up. Don'tcha love the bangs? Classic. If my head was out of the way, you'd be able to see where my cat, Tuffy, ate his breakfast every morning. Back there in the kitchen, next to the fridge. I had brothers and neighbors to play with, a Mom who was always there, a Dad who got home from work every day at 4:30, and endless woods behind my house in which to play. Life was good in 1972 (or 3...)