thoughts from the deep recesses

We received our first letter from Tejan today: "Kisses! Kisses! Love! Love! Dear the Goins family, How are you doing? I hope you are doing fine and well. I was so blessed to come to your home last summer. Thank you so much for being kind to me, may God bless you all and keep you safe in your daily work. I was so happy to see my brothers and sisters back home. I want you to know that I had a safe trip back to Sierra Leone. I love you all in Christ. Amen. Hi Aunty Cathy, this is me Tejan. How are you doing? I love you so much and I am doing fine with my exercises. My mouth is opening wide. I am doing my exercise every day and my legs are still ok, thanks be to God. Please give for me Ethan, Savannah, Kyler, Uncle Asia, Maddie, Maddie's mom and dad, Sydney and her family - give them for me a huge hug. Also greet for me the Arguinchonas, the Tesariks and the Swobodas. Please tell them that I love them all. Aunty Cathy, I want you to give Ethan and Savannah a very and awesome speci...

So my trip to Sierra Leone is definitely happening. I go in on Wednesday to get my shots. Yellow Fever. Typhoid. Hepatitis A and B. Fun. I can't tell you how settled my heart is, knowing I'll get to see T. in his home. Having the opportunity to meet his friends and eat his food and see his life is so huge for me. I'll be there for a full week, with five full days of traveling. And here's where you come in... I never imagined I would ever ask you, my faithful blog readers, for anything except comments. But I have to raise funds to help pay for this trip. As you can imagine, a plane ticket to Africa is expensive. (Around $2400 expensive...) I've been saving money since January for our family to be able to go see T. We're still hoping to go in 2009... But I don't even have enough yet to pay for my own trip. In addition to my plane ticket, I have other expenses to cover as well, so my total for the trip will be around $3500. So I wanted to give you the opport...

We welcomed a boy into our home. We opened our hearts to a love that would stretch across oceans. We began our journey with Tejan. I can hardly believe it's been a year since he came. It's been a tough week for me... the marking of time always gets me in one way or another... and in this case, I've been struggling with the emotion of acknowledging that a year ago we were getting to know him... I have such vivid memories of the challenge of those first few days. How can it possibly have been a year ago? I still miss him terribly. His scrawny little hand in mine. His laughter. His helpfulness. While I plug through my days and find many areas of my life completely back to 'normal', I am amazed to find the hole in my heart is no smaller with the passage of time. I think I thought it would be.

Saturday we enjoyed a short bike ride and a picnic along the Spokane river... I'm really trying to drink in the end of summer and take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy the outdoors before the cold weather sets in. It was a great afternoon. Isn't this a pretty place for a picnic?

When Asia and I lived in Eugene at the beginning of our marriage, we had the privilege of working together at a group home for severely abused kids. It was really and truly a family - the founders lived there full time and we were part of the ten or so staff who were scheduled from 1:00 to 10:00 each day. Our time there included activities, work projects, dinner, hanging out with the kids, bedtime and debriefing each evening. Of course, since there were major behavioral issues with these kids, each day held little surprises, like having to do physical holds on kids who were out of control and things like being spit on (or in my case, peed on). It was a challenging job. But it was rewarding. Asia and I still talk about our days at Jasper with great fondness. When you're working alongside others in that kind of intense environment, you tend to bond pretty strongly. It's similar to a camp experience, only heightened by the intense nature of the kids' issues and the interventio...

I drove back to the west side over the weekend... I had a work-related event to attend and I had to pick up the kids from my parents. It was a great weekend. I attended classes all day on Sunday with my boss - making lots of fun projects and getting to play with all kinds of new products. My folks were kind enough to drive the kids up to Vancouver (WA) on Monday so we could leave from there instead of going all the way to Astoria to get them. My favorite new stuff? Cosmo Crickets Mr. Campy and Haunted lines. Oh dear. I simply must have it all... We made the cutest little mini album with Mr. Campy... It's so good to have the kids home. As much as a quiet, empty house sounds lovely, it's pretty boring. I missed them more than I imagined I would and am so glad to have them home. Grandma and Grandpa spoiled them fully while they were there, taking them to museums and out for hamburgers and to two different bakeries and to Starbucks and buying them new school clothes and going ...

One of my favorite things about blogging is the fact that it gives me this very easy format to look back on my life. I can go over to my archives, pull up a month and read where I was and what I was doing at the time. The longer I blog, the more profound these online retrospections become. They bring stories that would have normally been forgotten back to mind and remind me of the struggles, joys and beauty of everyday life. As anyone who's blogged for any length of time knows, there are seasons to blogging. There are times when the blog is amazing. Words flow from my fingers and subject matter is abundant. I'm fun to read, full of insight, and have the time and energy to take and post well composed and edited photos that enhance each story. That's when blogging is really fun. I'm on the proverbial roll. And then there are the other times. Times when I know I should post, but have nothing to say. When life just seems SO blah and my brain can't think of anything at a...

Remember how excited I was to enjoy the cool weather at the beach? I was just as glad to get back to Spokane to enjoy what's left of summer. We had cool, cloudy weather the whole week we were at the coast and only saw the sun peek out two or three times the whole time. It didn't spoil our vacation, but I'm glad I could come back to some warmth and sunshine... I'm not ready for summer weather to end. I'm all alone in my house this week. The kids stayed behind at Grandma's house and Asia is working out of town this week. So it's me and Gracie. Can you imagine? I haven't had the house to myself for this long EVER! It's strange and quiet and wonderful and weird. And quiet. Our friend Jay took care of the dog while we were gone. She got to go live at his house with 5 other 20-somethings and slobber all over their stuff. She always worries herself sick when we're gone and this trip was no exception. Fortunately, I've got medicine I can give her th...

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We're leaving in the morning for our annual trip to the coast... we stay in a beach house that we rent with my brother and his family. This is the eighth year we've gone. I never get tired of it. I'm particularly ready for it this year. I've much to ponder in the sand. My head clears more quickly to the sound of the surf than I can ever hope it to in the midst of daily chores and responsibilites. And so - this year - when I've been so stretched and am struggling to find myself in the midst of my recent experiences, I welcome the waves and the wind and the seemingly endless expanse of the shoreline. God and I have some talking to do. And there's no better place for that than the beach. It'll be a good week. Smooches, dear ones. I'll be back...