thoughts from the deep recesses

She told people she didn't like change, when actually no change at all was one of her biggest fears. In response to that, she did her best to push back against expectations and settling. Leaning into tension and uncertainty and questions felt safer than a cocoon of sameness. And yet - she confused even herself because while her surroundings seldom changed, her heart was forever pulled this way and that... As she got older, she found her salvation didn't center on who she was or what she did but instead, it was all about Grace. And so she was able to stop performing/striving/being and simply exhale who she was created to be. Listener. Encourager. Lover. Nurturer. As she stopped pursuing the things she used to think would bring her happiness, she found everything she'd ever longed for. Validation. Confidence. Success. Wholeness. Contentment. Blessing. Often, she found herself marveling at the sheer beauty of the messy, broken people He brought to her. What...

So - being vegan has been easier than I thought. I'm most interested in how easy it has been to live with what seems like a very limited diet based on a 'religious commitment' compared to how hard it is to feel limited in just my every day life... For instance - with Weight Watchers, one of the biggest tenants of the program is that you should not deprive yourself - because deprivation tends to backfire... causing binging or quitting altogether. And I agree that this is usually true... that learning to manage foods is much more sustainable than simply trying to cut them out. But somehow - with the vegan thing - I've been able to deprive myself of a huge number of things with little to no struggle. I haven't been tempted to eat chocolate, cheese, dairy, meat... it just isn't an option. Why such a difference? Because on a normal, non-lent day, if you tell me I can't have chocolate, all I can think about is chocolate... and then eventually I go and consume...