thoughts from the deep recesses

 I've watched a multitude of Kyler's races over the four years of his high school cross country career...  And I think in all that time I've seen him be passed in the chute less than five times...  When this boy sees the finish line something switches in his head and he is more determined than ever...  Kicking it into high gear...  Pouring on the steam...  Stretching out his stride...  Maneuvering his elbows...  Twisting his body just so... And somehow managing to be in front at the line... This one was cutting it close, for sure. The thrill is worth the risk... he's given me more exhilarating race experiences than I ever could have hoped for. Watching him race has been the highlight of his high school years for me. One more race to go... on to State 2012. Go get 'em, Kyler. Eastern Washington Regionals - October 27, 2012

It's just after three o'clock in the morning and already I've been awake for an hour and a half. Midlife/perimenopause does funny things with my sleep patterns. It does funny things with a lot of me... Mostly - it pushes me to question and define and re-define my priorities. While I don't actually love some of the hormonal fluctuations and the not sleeping, there are parts of this phase of life I DO love. I love knowing what's important to me. I spent a lot of years in my twenties and thirties trying to define myself when compared to others. Specifically, other women. I cannot tell you the amount of energy I wasted trying to meet others' expectations... striving after some impossible standard I had created in my head. I never felt good enough. Being in my 40's has afforded me the luxury of owning my own priorities... defining myself in a way that makes it easy for me to say no to certain things and embrace others. Part of this self awareness exhi...