thoughts from the deep recesses

I am blessed to know a lot of young mamas. Women who are in the thick of wiping dirty bottoms and feeding seemingly insatiable little mouths and never getting enough sleep. Women who look back at their carefree lives before babies entered the picture and wonder if they will ever feel the same youthful easy-going freedom they used to enjoy. Women who probably never feel good enough for the task at hand. Raising those babies. It's overwhelming and exhausting and staggering and breathtaking, this motherhood thing. I remember so many times being completely at the end of my rope. So tired. Worried. Empty. And yet the gift of being the one who brought ultimate comfort and completion somehow sustained me through the dark hours when I knew I simply had nothing else to give. And yet I gave. And gave. And gave. Mothering is all about giving yourself away. Holding and loving and comforting and giving... leaning into the huge role of being the mom... regardless of whether I feel...

So many blessings... I have this incredible man by my side... who blesses me each day with his belly laugh and his sweet touch and his hand on my hip in bed each night. After 21 years of marriage I am amazed at the depth of love I feel for him and the miracle of a healthy union that has grown so much stronger than we deserve. My almost 19 year old came up the stairs this morning and said "Mama, I love you." There are days I wish he was away at college (for his sake as much as mine) but honestly, a huge part of me is really thankful for this additional time to be his mom... he has the rest of his life to be on his own. I'm thankful for dear friends and hard life circumstances that force us to grow in grace - and make our friendships even more dear. My sweet old pup gets slower each day - but still insists on putting her grey muzzle in my lap each morning and follows me from room to room when I'm home with her limpy gait... she's provided 8 years of complete...