thoughts from the deep recesses

Hiking is one of my favorite past times... so I was clamoring all weekend for a family hike since we had three whole days off together... However, when Monday rolled around, it turned out our kids were tired from sleepovers and scrambling to finish up procratinated homework and no one was interested in going on a family hike. Except me and Asia. So we went. We commented several times how strange it was to be hiking alone - relating more to the empty-nesters we saw on the trail than the families... but we didn't let it spoil our afternoon. The Spokesman Review on Sunday had an article listed some local-ish hikes to waterfalls... we picked the one closest to us and went for it. And it was an amazing hike. My phone camera has some distortion going on here I think... our heads aren't really  that elongated... For my local friends, it's in Liberty Lake County Park... you drive to the campground and the trailhead sits at the far end. It's a beautiful hike - alm...

We began a new series of sermons at church on Sunday. Sermons from the minor prophets. Beginning with Jonah. And in the first three verses, I'm already blown away: Jonah Flees From the LORD 1 The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: 2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.” 3 But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD. Russ, our dear friend and the person who gave the sermon, simply asked, "What is your Ninevah?" And at first, of course, because I think I'm pretty cool and together most of the time, I thought "Oh, I don't have a Ninevah. I always do whatever God asks of me... After all, I am going to Africa in a few weeks." (Oh, how pride goes before the fall...) And then, over the course of the re...

  Sunday, May 1st  was Bloomsday. In Spokane, that means that over 50,000 people take to the streets for the world's largest road race. And for me, this year, it meant running. This is my fourth Bloomsday - but I've always walked the whole thing. It's a 12K - which is 7.46 miles. Having run my first 5K race just two weeks before, I was more than a little doubtful that I'd be able to run the whole thing, especially when I considered that the Bloomsday course it MUCH more challenging, with several long hills. Just before mile 5, the course climbs what's lovingly referred to as "Doomsday Hill". That doesn't exactly inspire confidence, now does it? But I decided to run as much as I could... do my best. My longest training run was 6 miles, and when I did that, I felt like I had lots of energy left... so I should be able to pull out another mile and half, right? Well, I DID! Savannah ran with me for the first two miles, then had to fall back, having only rel...

My sister-in-law Lorraine was here awhile back. And we got onto the topic of girlfriends while we were visiting. It was a great conversation - I came away from it really relieved that I'm not alone in my struggles and also encouraged that this particular season in my life is a time to forgive my shortcomings with other women as I really build into my kids for the remaining years they're under my roof. Something Lorraine said really stuck with me though, and it's changed the way I view my relationships with other women hugely in the few weeks I've had to ponder it and pray over it. She said "Don't you think people just want to know someone cares about them?" See, I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to be someone for other women - particularly younger women. Since Asia is so gifted at this with the men he mentors, I feel like I'm always trying to play catch up - showing my care and concern for young women - to be the wise, older women to the...

In January, I set a New Year's resolution to log 500 miles in 2011. I quickly discovered that I am an impatient person... and that getting 10 miles a week (which is necessary to reach my goal by the end of the year) can be accomplished much more quickly when one runs. So I began to run. Intervals at first. Walk a minute, run a minute. Walk a minute, run two. Eventually, I pushed myself to run a whole mile. And I didn't die. And then, because I'm a goal-setting type, I decided I needed something to work toward. So I signed up for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. April 17th. That gave me a few months to train... And yesterday, I ran it. And I didn't die. In fact, I beat my goal of 33:00 minutes by more than three minutes, finishing the race at 29:50. I never, ever, in a million years would have told you that I was going to become a runner when I was forty two years old. But I have done that very thing. I love running. Not necessarily while I'm d...

I saw my first daffodils blooming yesterday on my way to work. Spring is such a gift every year when you live through long, dreary, snowy, cold winters. Truly, I can't think of a nicer thing than spring. I had an epiphany last night that God will redeem some of Asia's food issues in heaven and he will LOVE vegetables. And fruit. And food. One of my greatest sadnesses is that he doesn't really derive any pleasure from food. Food is one of my favorite things in the world... (hence, my need for accountability in the form of my job! Thank you, Weight Watchers for teaching me how to love good food and still stay at a healthy weight.) I look forward to sharing delicious food with Asia someday in heaven. Won't that be lovely? Speaking of good food, we went out last night with some great friends - we were just going to meet them for dessert, but since I had to come straight from work I ended up ordering a hummus plate. Wow . Best.hummus.plate.ever. YUM. The flat bread was str...

The buds on my lilacs are getting big. Never mind that it was snowing yesterday. Spring is declaring it's arrival! I've been on the phone nonstop the past few days trying to find alternative ways of getting our immunizations for the trip... if we go to the regional health district, it's going to cost us over $1000. Partly because they charge an office visit fee of $45 per person. That's $225 just to walk in the door. We're finding some pharmacies have access to travel vaccines and only charge for the cost of the immunization... problem is, we can't find anyone who can get the yellow fever vaccine. If we have to go to the health district for that one shot, we might as well get them all there. But UGH! I hate being on the phone. But especially when it feels futile. Kyler has been fighting tendonitis in his right leg... he hasn't been training much at all, allowing it to rest and heal. He wasn't able to compete in the first league track meet, but is hopin...

Sometimes you have to deal with stuff much larger than you think you're capable of dealing with Sometimes you start from the bottom of the heap. You just have to work harder to get to the top.  Use the skills you've been taught.  Sometimes you're gonna look a little silly doing what you know is right. Keep on keepin' on. Always look 'em right in the eye... You can do it. Even when you really feel like quitting. If you're on top, you still need to work hard so you can stay on top. People are always watching you. (E's had the same coach for five years. He's been watching and encouraging him the WHOLE time. If nothing changes, he will have this same coach when he gets to high school. Cool.) Somtimes you get hurt. (And you mom will always wish she could rescue you. But she won't, because you have to figure out how to get out of painful situations by yourself sometimes.) Sometimes you have to dig really deep...

So I find myself getting to the end of every Monday and dreading the fact that I'm supposed to have a "Creativity Monday" post. That most certainly was not my intent when I began the series... and definitely doesn't inspire much in the way of the soul-feeding I was aiming for when I declared Mondays a day for creative pursuits. As I was thinking this through in the midst of insomnia in the wee hours this morning, I've decided to suspend (or postpone, or cancel, or quit - OUCH !) Creativity Mondays for now. There's a big part of me that suffers embarrassment over that... I hate to be seen as a quitter. I take a lot of pride in being a goal-setter/achiever. But the older I get, the more I also strive to be good at taking care of myself. And if something has become a strain or drudgery that is completely within my control to stop, I feel an obligation to myself to end the misery. This forces me to ponder a bit why I've changed so much in the last two...

Don't those crocus just make you exceedingly happy? They sure do me... there's some color outside my door!!! St. Patricks day dinner: Pumpkin bread french toast, sausages and green apple sodas for the kiddos. Weird. But yummy. Love the action in the bottom left corner of this picture... Asia grabbing his french toast. Kyler had his first timed run for track on Wednesday - they call them the Tiger Relays - and it serves as a sort of qualifying/placement run. He's running the 1600 meter (1 mile) race again. He finished on Wednesday with a time of 4:54, which was his PR (personal record) at the end of last year's track season. REALLY, really proud of  him. The Variety Show for Ethan's school is next week... he and his little friend Bridger put together a choreographed light saber fight/dance that is hilarious. I've been involved in the variety show since Kyler was in second grade... it's one of my VERY favorite parental involvements. Sad that next year will...

I'm a sucker for a dollar bin... whether it's at Target, or JoAnn's, or a whole pickin' store of dollar buys like Dollar Tree - I love seeing what I can find. These sweet felt shamrocks were in the dollar bin at JoAnn's awhile back. I love seasonal decorations - I grew up with a mom who always changed decorations according to the upcoming holiday... including a candy dish full of pretty seasonal candy with a lid that she would tape shut so we couldn't eat the candy! I have lots of Easter decor... but have never had anything to decorate with for St. Patrick's Day. Now I do. This was a SUPER quick, easy project. I simply punched some holes in the shamrocks, made some pleated rosettes and strung it all together with some brads and ribbon. It makes me happy.

This girl needed braces. And this girl does not... (Congrats, beautiful girl... your teeth are lovely.)

They're done! I finally had time today to sit down and finish the first of two sets of class samples for my fundraising card classes. Come join me on Tuesday, April 5th, or Thursday, April 7th at 6:00 pm to make these ten cards - suggested donation for the class is $25.00 - and ALL proceeds go towards our trip to Sierra Leone. I only have ten kits (meaning ten spots!) available for this class. Space reserved on a first come, first served basis. You may purchase a kit only if you are unable to attend the class - just let me know that you will just be buying the kit. Classes will be at my home. I'm so excited to teach a class again - it's been almost two years since Apropos closed - and I haven't taught anything since then... and I'm excited to be able to use this arena to raise money for our trip. I'll be scheduling another class for early May with a whole different set of papers and embellishments - watch for those cards to be posted soon! Let me kno...

No Creativity Monday this week... it was laundry and cleaning Monday instead and I just didn't have the energy at the end of the day to be creative. Sorry! I'll pick it up next week! Savannah had her 8th grade visit to the high school last week... yikes! I can't possibly be old enough to have two high schoolers, can I? Ready or not, here we are... she's all registered for her freshman classes. Crazy. She's counting down the days... only one more week and then her braces come off after two and a half years. She's already had almost all of them removed - only the front four teeth still have anything one them... next Tuesday they'll remove the rest and give her her retainer. She's beside herself. I led my first Saturday meetings last weekend. I LOVE doing two back-to-back meetings... if I have to drive there, I'd just as soon get two meetings done. Had over 130 people attend the two meetings and sold over $1500 in product. Yay! Kyler started track p...

 Today, as I'm sure you're aware, is President's Day. Which means the whole family is home. Which means I'm compelled to take advantage of our lazy-don't-have-to-be-anywhere-morning... and make a yummy breakfast. I had blackberries in the fridge... I've been buying them from Costco lots lately to eat in the morning with my Greek yogurt... but this batch was starting to get a little soft, so I decided to try them out in one of my favorite recipes: scones. I've used this scone recipe for years. It's my go-to guest breakfast... I've thrown everything in them: chocolate chips, walnuts, dried cranberries, even cinnamon chips... and I vary the toppings, from simple glazes to sprinklings of coarse sugar, white chocolate drizzles to homemade apple butter. But I've never made them with blackberries. So today I did. And I topped them with a simple Lemon Vanilla glaze. Making blackberry scones is a messy proposition, I learned. Kneading dough full...

In November, my friend Julie had a heart attack. Julie is 37. The day it happened, Asia texted me at work to tell me she was in the hospital... text by text (as he was receiving them from her husband) he would tell me what was happening... "Julie is on her way to the hospital in an ambulance... heart palpitations", "In the ER... looks like it's for sure cardiac", "Massive heart attack - in surgery now..." It was a series of information so upsetting, each one more unbelievable than the next. On my way home from work, still unsure of her status, I sobbed out prayers for Julie. For her family. For the doctors. Julie is my friend . We went into help mode immediately - figuring out what we could do for them... and ended up keeping their two boys at the house for a couple of days... and then the next week preparing and sharing Thanksgiving dinner with them and their extended family... 19 people in all. I realized through that time - that I cheris...

I'm designing cards for a fundraising card class/kit sale... so I spent yesterday working with this lovely Crate Paper line... I'm going to make as many cards as I can from the supplies I have kitted... yesterday I only had time for these six cards, but I've got LOTS of supplies leftover so I'm hoping I can come up with at least 15 cards for each kit. Then I'll create instructions for all the cards and have a class here for local people... and sell kits to anyone from far away who wants them. I only have enough supplies for ten kits total... Hopefully I can sell them all. This is one of two card classes I'm planning - the next one will be cards from three different Scenic Route lines. I'll be sure to post when I have all the cards finished and give information about signing up for a class/kit!

Tuesday Tens just aren't happening lately. I've added a second Tuesday meeting and Kyler is back to leaving by 6:30 for morning runs... somehow those two things eat up my typical blogging times and I can't ever seem to get a Tuesday post in. So I think Monday will be the day from now on for my random, numbered posts... I just signed up for my first 5K race. I'm excited to be participating in the Eastern Washington Race for the Cure on April 17th. I've been training and have run several 5K training runs already... with my best time so far being 34:02. I'm loving running with my Nike Plus shoes and ipod... it tracks all my distances and times and personal bests. So fun! Work has been insane... Weight Watchers has been overwhelmed with the response to our new Points Plus program. My meetings are bigger than ever. I love being able to introduce so many people to this healthy way of life. It's such a privilege to walk alongside people as they make the necessar...

Eve of 42 There is a clothesline of grace I see And hanging on it are names. Precious souls who have given me love. Kindred spirits who have believed.  There are stories hanging there. Wispy, time worn and comfortable strips of cloth woven into a lifetime. Worn thin in places. And bright, shiny new in others Further down the line are memories. Sunsets over water. Make believe and dragonflies. Dreams of a life yet to be that became so much more. I could never have fashioned this... in all my wisdom I would have left off many of the most beautiful things... The moments where each breath was an act of mercy the goodbyes the forever broken heart or the struggle to find light in darkness... the pain of loving deeply and losing much and yet, looking at it, there is perfect symmetry. An artistry that goes far beyond my best attempts to be. I would not change a thing. I walk the distance and I see that Time has been my friend. I recognize myself in the pieces hanging there. I find ...

I am an introvert. Which, in and of itself, is an interesting fact. Because as I described in my first Girlfriend post, as a child, I was OUT there. My self-confidence displayed itself in boisterous behavior. I liked being with people. Now, as an adult, I'm quite shy. Large group settings exhaust me. Home is my very favorite place to be, especially if I'm there alone and it's quiet. Silence is my favorite sound. Even more than music (which I also love.) So, as you can imagine, those are some issues that make friendship challenging for me. I've found myself, over the years, trying to reach out to other women. Making lunch dates. And then, as soon as the date is set, dreading the actual date. The struggle between having time alone and giving it up to spend time with another person is a very real struggle for me. I have to consciously push through that, understanding the value of relationship to force myself to leave myself to be with another . I've spent ...