thoughts from the deep recesses

I did not grow up in a church that intentionally celebrated Lent. In fact, I didn't even know that Mardi Gras had any religious implications or that it was connected to the Lenten season. However, as an adult, specifically in the past 5 years or so, taking time during lent to focus my heart has become a cherished tradition for me. I find it a refreshing way to consider my faith anew... and to recognize God's ultimate sacrifice. The question each year is always: what? This year, Savannah and I have decided to become vegan. Which, yes, means that not only are we not eating meat, we aren't consuming any animal products, including dairy and eggs. Recently we watched a fascinating and compelling documentary called Forks Over Knives . The movie examines the profound claim that most, if not all, of the degenerative diseases that afflict us can be controlled, or even reversed, by rejecting animal-based and processed foods. Bold statements. Boldly presented. We weren't t...

I am a person mired deep in a need for security... and I am easily fooled into believing I have it when my circumstances appear stable. I am learning this about myself as Asia and I walk through the process of transitioning our source of income from one that's been easy and secure to one (two) that is variable and uncertain. Having lived in the same house for the first 18 years of my life with parents who avoided change, I have little experience with this sort of evolution... in the 20 years we've been married Asia and I have only moved five times. I like constancy. Security. Comfort. Stability. Now I'm being asked to trust. Trust that God will continue to provide in light of risk and instability and uncertainty. Now I know - the only reason we have had what felt like security all these years is because God has provided. Jehovah Jireh and all that. I know it intellectually. But it's darn easy to be fairly convinced that a good, secure job excludes the need for ...

This week I had a birthday. Forty three years old, I am. For some reason in my mind I have skipped a year and keep thinking I'm 44... and then I have to subtract and remind myself. It's been quite a year - my 43rd year held not only a trip to Africa with my family, but a huge milestone in personal fitness in my half marathon... two things I never would have imagined myself doing ten years ago. This year promises to be another crazy ride... The older I get, the more I study myself... striving toward growth... pushing myself into being stretched. I now find myself an 'older mom'... with the distinct privilege of encouraging and loving on younger women... sharing life on life how God has brought me through the challenges of many years of parenting. My marriage has lasted almost 20 years... and I find myself blessed to be more in love with my husband today than I ever imagined. He continues to be my best friend, greatest supporter, biggest encourager, most fav...

Seriously, Pinterest. Who knew I would end up organizing my ENTIRE freaking life on this one website. I have almost every good idea ever known to man all saved up on this one gorgeous, amazing site. It's scary and wonderful all at once. If I ever get around to using everything I've saved there, I'll think I've died and gone to heaven. Case in point: THIS SOUP . Truly. I've made it twice now. To rave reviews. Kyler even said "Mom, this soup is fantastic." and then declared it second only to his very favorite meal of all time, African Peanut Stew... and this kid has never liked soup. Thank you, Pinterest. Tomorrow is my mom's 70th birthday. I have a little something special up my sleeve for her... unfortunately, she won't know what it is until the day after or the day afte r the day after her birthday because I'm terrible about getting to the post office. So goes the curse of having a birthday on the 1st of the month... every year it sneaks u...

My Georgia girl... always looking out for others jumping in where there are needs diligent and hard working careful and considerate kinder than I've ever been cowboy lovin' quiet observing guarding her heart with wisdom beyond her years goofy quesadilla lover sister spanish prodigy quick learner of life's lessons soft hearted and teachable sweet, sweet Savannah my Luba * *Mende (Sierra Leonean tribal language) for 'blessing'

Officially the longest blog title. Ever in the history of Thoughts from the Deep Recesses. Yes. Work has been insane. You see, Weight Watchers is opening new stores all over the country. And my store - the store I am the Location Coordinator of opened January 2nd. After being told it would open January 9th. And then January 4th. And then a wedding on New Year's Day in Portland when my nephew married his beautiful bride, Annie. And then our computers weren't working at the new store. And that was a crazy experience, processing the crowds and crowds of new year's resolutions join-ers... without the convenience and speed of our computer system. And of course, I volunteered to oversee our Housewarming event. Which was last Saturday. And now, this week is what I think is actually going to be a 'normal' work week. And now, I can blog. Twenty-twelve. For the first time in four years, I don't have a MAJOR goal for the new year. I have lots of goals... ...

Today I happened upon a lovely little blog whilst wasting time on my newest, latest internet time waster, Pinterest. And that lovely little blog inspired me to come on over here to my own very sad, neglected blog. So here I am, wishing I had some lovely photos of something interesting to post. But I don't. I do have some words to share. So we'll go with that. I remember when the kids were little I used to be jealous of Asia and his meetings. He would complain about how many he had to go to and how boring they were. I remember thinking how nice it would be to have someone think I was important enough to invite me to participate in a meeting. I was up to my ears in laundry and diapers and bored stiff by housework. Don't get me wrong. I loved staying home with my babies - but let's be honest. It's not rocket science. And it's not overly stimulating or rewarding on a day-to-day-to-day basis. Frankly, it's boring. And repetitive. And lovely in it's ...

Or, to translate, 'Half of my head hurts all of the time.' I have had a headache on the right side of my head for over five years. Never debilitating. But always there. Annoying. Aching. Nagging. Relieved easily with ibuprofin, but always returning as soon as the medicine wore off. Every.single.day.for.more.than.five.years. I've seen my primary care doctor, my dentist, two ear nose and throat specialists and one neurologist. Had CT scans and MRIs. And until two weeks ago, no one could find a cause. But two weeks ago, a sweet neurologist spent 45 minutes with me... asking me question after question after question. Reading my MRI results. Doing neurological tests. At first, he joined the others in telling me there really isn't a diagnosis for my symptoms. The MRI was clear. My symptoms were too non-specific... no real causes... no patterns. Apparently chronic, daily, all the time pain isn't enough to diagnose much. Except Hemicrania Continua . Whic...

Kyler has a girlfriend. She is a senior at his highschool - a cross country runner - and is VERY, VERY pretty. It's very new - as in today is their one week anniversary. Savannah turned 15 on 11-11-11. She continues to be a huge blessing in my life... Trader Joe's has finally opened in Spokane. It's very close to me - which is a huge treat in a city where almost all the 'good' shopping is on the other end of town. Love popping in there whenever I need something but I'm still trying to figure out what they do and don't carry. Last night I needed cream cheese. Trader Joe's doesn't have cream cheese.  We celebrated the one year anniversary of Julie's heart attack last weekend. I'm calling it her heartiversary. A sweet day to celebrate her good health and our little community of folks doing life together.  Putting together a package for our three boys in Sierra Leone... and a few other kids we simply have to send letters to. Our family there ...

Amazingly, this is my 1000th post on thoughts from the deep recesses... I can hardly believe I've done anything 1000 times... but especially this silly little blog. I started this blog in March of 2005 - very reluctantly. I wasn't sure what I would ever post about... or even why I would bother... but I did it. I only wrote two posts a month for the first two months... and then slowly my posts picked up speed. Certainly, my posting has ebbed and flowed over the years. Facebook gives blogging a run for it's money - and often things that I may have written about here became status updates instead... I prefer blog posts but realistically, find time for Facebook much more easily than I find time for blogging. So there have been months when the blog has been neglected. But it's still a big part of how I record life. To keep with tradition, I'm going to do a Tuesday Ten of some of my favorite random blog posts over the years... Letter to my 16 year-old-sel...

Ah, October. There is a tree I see every day on my way up the hill from downtown. Every year I say to myself how fun it would be to take a picture of it daily as it transforms from fully green to aflame in autumnal oranges, yellows and reds... and yet I never do it. Every year when I notice the leaves beginning to fall from it, I am sad that I missed the opportunity another year. I watch the local evening news every night. I tivo it and fast forward through all the boring stuff. But I always look at the seven day weather forecast. Every.single.night. Fall sports are winding down... Savannah has her last volleyball game on Thursday - Kyler has his last league meet tomorrow. He will have districts and potentially State still... I was achy in the strangest places the day after the half marathon... specifically, my left shoulder and my right ankle. My left knee really hurt me from mile 10 to about mile 12 while I was running... I wonder if I was compensating for the pain in a way that i...

Before the race with Julie, one of my biggest cheerleaders on this journey Sometimes I wonder how I get myself into things... I've discovered that I am ridiculously goal oriented in the past couple of years... which can be a really good thing. But it can also create these weird situations where I find myself doing things I never would have imagined doing. This past Saturday was a classic example. Because I ran a half marathon. And I NEVER thought that was something I'd ever do. And the craziest thing about it - was that it wasn't really that hard. It just took the goal... and the training plan... and the determination to not completely embarrass myself... because once I told people I was planning to do it, suddenly I had friends signing up to do it with me... which meant I actually needed to be able to do it. And so I did it. And I actually enjoyed it a teeny tiny bit. Kevin, another Spokane friend who came to Leavenworth to run the half There's a prett...

Kyler is running varsity cross country this year. The varsity team is comprised of the seven fastest runners on the team. Never more, never less. I love the boys on his team so much - they have become a tight knit crew - working together to encourage each other through miles and miles of workouts, weekend trips, practices twice a day and often two meets a week. They spend a LOT of time together. And they're great kids. Two of the other boys have been running with Kyler since seventh grade...  One of my girlfriends posted on Facebook the other day " Going to cross country meets does a lot to restore one's hope in the next generation. Way to go to all those teenagers who inspire others through their fitness, hard work and sportsmanship." I couldn't agree more. I'm so proud of how hard Kyler works - along with all his teammates. I will be VERY sad when he graduates and I no longer have a reason to go to meets... The Lewis and Clark Tiger Cross Cou...

So, here's this crazy thing: I run. On Monday I ran 12 miles. Twelve. It's a fascinating process, this running thing. It's doing the most interesting things to my body. Some good, some not so good. For the first time in my life, I have a waist. An actual curve there where my body has always been straight. My half marathon is in two and a half weeks. And I'm not dreading it. At all. I'll be honest with you, I'm eager for it to be over. But mostly because my training schedule has consumed a LOT of time. The poor dog hasn't been walked much at all lately because I'm always running and she can't run any distance with her bad leg. I'm really ready to go to the gym and partake in some other forms of activity. Running four days a week (over 20 miles a week) is about all the activity I care to do... and after a while... well, it gets a leetle-bit boring. But I can do it. I can run . I can run long distances, even. Asia rode his b...

Not sure how it happened, but I guess I just took a hiatus from the blog. It wasn't my intention... But it's been awhile, eh? I really like blogging. And it's something I can't imagine ever giving it up permanently... it's too fun to look back at... so here I am. Life has been nothing short of crazy since we got back from the trip... the kids dove into sports practices almost right away... so our summer seemed extrememly short. With the exception of Kyler - who just started classes this week and had a little too much summer, I think. We're in the middle of LOTS of change around here... with me picking up a lot more hours at work, Savannah and Kyler both at new schools this year, Asia working toward opening a private practice... it's a lot... and we're sort of re-defining normal as we go. I keep waiting for that 'fall routine' to set in... haven't gotten there yet. I've got lots to write about... lots I've been processi...

The door to our apartment building When we began working with the travel agent who arranged our tickets for our trip to Sierra Leone, we were originally hoping to be able to go through London. We have dear friends who live in Northern Ireland, and we were hoping to either pop over to visit them or that they would come to London to spend a few days with us. As we planned, though, we discovered that our friends were actually going to be in the States at the same time... so we told the travel agent to look at flights going through other European cities and just try to find us the best deal. When he came back with an itinerary flying through Paris, I got a wild hair... maybe we could save up enough money to be able to spend a few days in Paris with the kids. Knowing this would be the only trip like this we would ever get to take as a family, it seemed silly to get to Paris, only to spend a few hours in the airport and then fly on to Sierra Leone. I posed my idea to Asia and he ...

Reading this book right now... wish I could give a copy to everyone I know. 18 million people die each year because of extreme poverty... what are you doing to prevent that? We all shudder when we remember tragedies like the holocaust... but every day 27,000 children under the age of five die from PREVENTABLE causes... You can read the first chapter by clicking here. FIRST CHAPTER Then go to your local library and check it out instead of buying it. With the $14 you saved, why not make a donation to a charity that is working to alleviate world poverty? I know of a good one... Children of the Nations ! Sorry - I can't help myself. I will never spend my money the same way again... and I'm determined to challenge people to consider how our unnecessary spending could be reigned in and how that money could make a difference...

I rode Violet (my bike) to the library one sunny morning last week... after 3 1/2 weeks with the same reading material on the trip I was excited to look through the shelves and bring home some new inspiration. My first stop (as always) was the New Nonfiction shelf... There I found a book called Unstuff: Making Room in Your Life for What Really Matters . I turned it over to read the back and the author photo caught my eye... turns out I went to college with the guy from this husband/wife writing team. Intrigued, I threw the book in my basket. I read the book in a couple of days... it's a good read - perhaps a bit more for the Christian who's being introduced to the idea of over consumption as sin - but still full of good principles. I came away from the book with a challenge for my family: Every day for the month of August, each member of the family has to find ten things to get rid of. There are boxes set up in the kitchen labeled 'Trash', 'Sell' and '...

Sunday we were all up at 4:30... piled into the car and leaving the house by 5:15 to drive over to Coeur D'Alene... There has been an Ironman Triathalon in Coeur D'Alene for the past nine years... athletes from all over the world come to do a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike ride and a 26.2 mile run. CRAZY. For the last two years, we've gone over to volunteer. Kyler's cross country team runs an aid station out on the bike ride... at mile 40 and mile 90. (The bikers loop through the 56 mile course twice.) It's a SUPER inspiring way to spend a day... I never cease to be amazed at the people who put their bodies through months and months of training to compete in an Ironman. All the way from the top professional who will complete the entire thing in around 8 hours to folks who will barely make it to the cut off time at midnight. We worked the aid station from 6:00 am (preparing for the arrival of the athletes around 8:00... cutting bananas in half, opening gato...

These three little boys have been friends since they were four... when they used to hang out and play while their sisters played together on Savannah's soccer team. They're not so little anymore. They're now officially sixth graders. Ready to 'rule the school.' Big, little man-children. Great friends. Love these long, lasting friendships for my kids... as a parent who consciously chose to stay in one place and keep the kids in the same school, this is the fruit of that decision. And then there's this one... Who is now in high school. Who attended an event last week that the school calls the "Eighth Grade Social" and all the girls call the "Eighth Grade Formal." I surprised her and made arrangements for our friend Monica to come over to curl her hair before school... the 'formal' took place in the afternoon instead of classes. We bought her dress months ago - off a clearance rack at Macy's... it fit her perfe...