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Observations from church hunting...

So this morning I was thinking about this whole looking for a new church thing... and wanted to share a few things I've learned along the way...

  • When a worship pastor gives reference to song recorded in 1984, and then proceeds to teach it to the congregation, brace yourself - it will be as bad as you expect. Maybe worse.
  • Sometimes there will be invisible men praying. Be prepared - just because they say "In Jesus Name..." numerous times, this does not mean they are finished. They may pray for as long as ten minutes
  • Our children can sit though a lot. Since we don't put them in Sunday school until we've been to a church several times, they have learned to be still through many a sermon. This, however, leads to it's own bounty of revelations. For instance, stickers adhere well to bald heads.
  • I greatly favor churches that give out pens in their welcome packets. I am partial to triangle shaped ones.
  • The original Maranatha singers are alive and well in Spokane, Washington. If you don't believe me, I can take you to their church next time you come to visit us.
  • You know things are grim when you look down in the middle of the service and your eight year old has started a list in her notebook titled "Bad things at this church..."
  • Everywhere we go, there are lots of really friendly people - we are usually welcomed numerous times. We're a little gun-shy though, and desperately feel the need to sneak out quickly before we get sucked into "Sunday School hour"...
  • Churches are jumping now. I mean literally hopping. I didn't know that.
  • Explaining the gift of tongues to a five year old can be a challenge.
  • The gift of tongues manifested will freak out the average ten-year old who's been raised in a conservative church.
  • The gift of tongues makes Asia run towards the door really really fast.

So there you have it. Lessons learned.

We are favoring one church at this point, but really don't feel the need to settle until fall. It's been good to take some time off from ministry and be able to focus on growing as a family and healing from the wounds that led us on this journey...

I'll keep you posted on the progress.

Comments

  1. Bay in TN2:55 PM

    ROFL -- the very first lesson caught my eye. I wanna know *which* song he taught the congregation!!! And I once used a B-52's song for a Sunday school lesson. "When the blues whomp you up on the side of the head/ Kick 'em to the floor and kick 'em out the door...." ROFL!!!!

    Good luck on your search! :)

    --Bay

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:16 PM

    "stickers adhere well to bald heads"

    goodness... that is to funny!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Rachael2:58 PM

    Just a good Catholic girl here but got a kick out of your lessons!

    ReplyDelete

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