thoughts from the deep recesses

Okay, we've had such a hot week in our neck of the woods... I feel like I'm about to die, it's so hot in this house!!! It's currently 84 in my kitchen. It was probably 74 before Asia got the bright idea that he would make dinner tonight. Now, you must understand that when it is hot out, I am religious about trying to keep my house cool. In the absence of an air conditioner, I'm a crazy woman each morning and evening, opening and closing the windows as soon as the temperature outside is either hotter or cooler than the inside temp... I remind myself of a landlady I had who lived next door to me in Eugene. I used to laugh at her determination with her windows. Now I have become her. (K. and L. - yep, I'm just like Alice...) Anyway - so, of course, when it's hot, I am careful to NEVER turn the oven on... I barely want to use the hairdryer because I'm sure that will raise the temperature of the house... We eat lots of sandwiches and I barbeque a lot... Well,...

Those of you who know me well know how much I LOVE garage sale-ing each Saturday. I get up early and peruse the newpaper columns for sales in my neighborhood, making special note of sales listing kids' clothes, because that's my primary goal... I have a few rules... Stay between 14th street and 57th, High Drive and Regal Street. Anywhere out of those boundaries and I'm generally not going to find anything good. If they're leading the sale with luggage, just keep driving by. This means if the stuff they put out front of the lawn to grab your attention is a set of Jordache tweed luggage or Samsonite hard sided suitcases, you're in trouble... that's the best they've got, and you'll waste your time getting out of the car. The only other things they'll have are stacks and stacks of National Geographics and a box with aluminum kitchen utensils for ten cents apiece... and maybe a 35 year old canvas tent with more poles than Barnum and Bailey... Only buy lem...

The kids have been going to Vacation Bible School all week - 9:00 am to noon and I've been so determined not to waste my free time that I've been avoiding the computer - hence no new posts... It's been blissful, my mornings at home. I've been creating, which always feeds me... I did 12 scrapbook pages, all in chronological order from summer of 2003. So much of the way I scrapbook has changed over the last year - I stopped working through my pictures in order and usually just go to my room and choose whatever pictures inspire me. So, while I'm getting stuff done, I avoid the pictures I don't really feel inspired by, and so I've got this backlog. This week I decided to tackle the backlog - and I loved every minute of it... reliving our summer vacation two years ago - remembering stuff I hadn't thought about since I filed the pictures away.... I'm determined now to continue plugging through the backlog. Of course, I'll still pull favorites and scrap...

So, the kids and I went to Astoria on our little vacation... I can't even tell you how much I LOVE visiting my hometown. In sharp contrast to how much I wanted to leave when I was a highschool senior, now Astoria brings me comfort and calm - a sense of home and pride in all it has become. I love the river, the waterfront, the ebbing and flowing of the tide in Young's Bay... the wetlands, the bridges and the ships all revive me and nourish parts of me that are often neglected. I love Astoria. I almost always, on a trip home, entertain romantic notions of moving back... wouldn't it be great to live close to Mom and Dad? To have lunch with Mom once a week at the Wet Dog Cafe, be able to pick out a house with a river view, frequent the local galleries and be able to get a Cinnamon Crispy at the Danish Maid whenever I wanted to... ah - it sounds sublime. And then, I remember the rain. And the fact that their school system is ridiculous, with kids being bussed all over town depen...

Just a quick post to let everyone know I'm OUTA HERE!!! The kids and I are heading out this morning to go camping with the grandparents, then off to Portland for a wedding... Have a great week and I'll be back to post on Monday!

I have been married to Asia for 13 years, known him for 15, and I've never seen a picture of him any younger than about 12 years old. Today, in an online conversation with his little brother, we discovered that all these years, he has been in possession of ALL the family photos - including Asia's baby pictures. I made him scan some in immediately and send them to me... I am blown away by this darling little boy. It's the photo-lover in me that just swoons at the thought of having pictures of him, finally, after all these years. I can't wait to get them printed and create some layouts about this little boy who became my husband. He's the little one - that's his big brother, Willy with him. THIS is the stuff that inspires me - stories that need to be told - memories that need to be saved... Thanks, Aaron, for keeping all those albums safe all these years... can't wait to see more!

So here is E. in his hair-a-licious state... silly kid was determined to grow his hair out and look like Napoleon Dynamite - and I'll be the first to admit, he had it goin' on... But today, we were out and about having our weekly "Outing Day", and Asia called the cell: "I want you to take the boys to get their hair cut today." Okay. Sorry, Napoleon. We gotta honor the Daddy. So, after playing at the park and having lunch out, we took ourselves to Great Clips, and bid adieu to the mop. It really was freakishly large, and NEVER laid flat. Poor kid really has a terrible head of hair. I LOVE his new fuzzy little head. It's so soft and round and rub-able. Nice and short and normal looking - not like some freakish animal taking up residence on my baby's head. Here's to nine dollar haircuts and cute little boys.

Okay, so this is my problem. I really like to look cute, but I just can't do it all the time. I went out recently and bought a whole bunch of cute summery clothes. And I love them. I really do. But there are lots of days when I'm not going to go ANYWHERE, (or at least anywhere that anyone would know me...) and I just want to wear jean shorts and a tank. Now, I know, the "What Not to Wear" people hate shorts. And I'll admit, they really aren't too flattering. It's that whole thing they do where they sort of stay sitting after you stand up - with the creases in the crotch area and the winging out on the sides... But heck - it's summer. And if I'm going to get any sort of color on my legs (which, by the way, I never actually pursue, but never mind when it happens), I can't be wearing pants all the time. Or skirts... now skirts would certainly allow for some color to happen, but it's a skirt, and how the heck are your going to sit "criss-c...

So yesterday I had a class to teach, and the two younger kids went to play at my friend Mindy's house. She has young'ns the same age - so they have lots of fun together. My class went well - even ended early and so after picking K. up at home (where he had stayed alone - BIG deal for him), we went over to pick up S. and E. I heard them in the backyard, so I wandered around the side of the fence and found them picking raspberries. Mindy's husband, Danny decided a couple of years ago to plant some raspberry canes, and they have grown and produced like CRAZY! They are literally picking raspberries every day by the gallon. Well, lucky me - Mindy told me to grab a bucket and start picking and that we could take whatever we picked! So, not only did I get to bring home a gallon sized ziploc bag completely full of fresh raspberries, I got to spend 45 minutes in the gorgeous warmth of the sun, visiting with one of my dearest friends while our kids picked at our sides and ate berries...

Good news: I didn't need a crown. Bad news: I haven't had a filling in about 25 years, and I'd forgotten how much it hurts. Good news: I'll probably lose a couple of pounds because I really don't feel like eating. Bad news: I can hardly open my mouth because my TMJ tends to flare up after holding my mouth open for an hour. Good news: I've got lots of shows recorded that I can watch while I convalesce. Bad news: I'm already sick of tv. Good news: Asia is incredibly patient with me as I whine. Bad news: The kids never understand that Mommy doesn't feel good. Good news: My insurance paid for everything, including the second filling the dentist decided to do "Since I've got you in the chair..." Bad news: The dentist decided to do a second filling. Good news: I know I'll feel better in a couple of days. Bad news: I'll probably gain back whatever weight I lose once I can eat again. So there you have it. My mouth really hurts.

I took my kids to Christian Supply earlier this week because I wanted to get them some little devotions books they could do on their own. I found a great one for K., but had a hard time finding one that S. would be able to understand without help, so I picked one up that we could do together about spiritual giftedness. I thought it would be a great way for us to spend time together and get in the habit of going to God's word together. So last night we had a chance to sit down and do the first chapter together. At the end of the chapter, it was talking about how to pray using the acronym TOY. First you give THANKS, then you pray for OTHERS, then you pray for YOURSELF. So I explained that to her and told her I'd remind her while we were praying what we were going to pray about next... I reminded her we were going to start with thanksgiving, and we bowed our heads to pray. She started. "Dear Lord. Thank you for thanksgiving. Thank you that we can thank you for all you've ...

So I have this recurring nightmare: I'm eating something really really soft, like a peanut butter sandwich on Wonder bread... it's so soft the bread is sticking to the back of my front teeth... when all of a sudden, my teeth start to just fall out. And I'm trying desperately to get them to stay in - like when you lost a tooth as a child but you could kind of stick it up in the hole and suction would hold it for awhile... but they just keep coming out, and then I notice that they're all terribly loose in my mouth and I just know they're all going to fall out. The terrifying thing is, in my dream, I almost always "wake up" and I'm feeling my teeth in bed and they truly are all loose and falling out. But that's part of the dream too - and I only realize it in the morning after I really have woken up and I remember that I had the dream. It's so freaky, and I guess I must have some sort of tooth pride... the dream must be evidence of some deep seede...

So yesterday, I was all in a dither about a girls' night out I was planning to attend... my girlfriends are all so pickin' perfect. Their houses are immaculately decorated, and they all exercise religiously, and they're all totally adorable. Add to all that the fact that they're all highly educated and I can work myself into a sweat wondering how I can ever keep up. I'm terrible at small talk. I'm about 10 pounds heavier than I want to be right now. I dropped out of college. I still don't feel like I fit in after almost 7 years here... it's enough to make me want to crawl in a hole and never come out. However, that was not an option, and I knew it. I had to go - wanted to, even, because even with all my feelings of inferiority, I still deeply love these women. But, in the midst of my dither, I was blessed with a quiet morning and more time than usual before the kids woke up. I spent my time with God, reading and thinking through this "friend struggl...