So Asia, my dear husband, is going through a bit of a mid-life thing... I won't call it a crisis, because I don't think it is, but he's recently been feeling the need for some excitement in his life. Some sort of change. Perhaps a vice... (although when I look up that word, I don't think that's exactly what he wants either...) Something to mix things up - give him a little burst of energy - rev-up his mundane existence...
Here's the deal - (and I say this with the deepest affection) - he's BORING. (I've known it for years, but he's just now starting to realize this himself.) I love the steadiness, the consistency, the safe-ness of his being boring. I know what to expect. Now, on occasion, I've been known to accuse him of flatlining... usually on a weekend when I want to get out and do something and he's just being his normal, contented self... but most of the time, I appreciate his even demeanor.
The other day, he asked me "Do you think I should start smoking or something?" Now, of course, he said it in jest, but it is indicative of his heart right now - he is looking for some sort of change - an oomph, if you will, to his flatlined existence.
He's talked about getting a tattoo. Which is totally okay with me, if he's serious. I told him it should be a heart with my name in it on his arm, but evidently that wasn't what he had in mind.
He'd LOVE to buy a new car (thankfully not the stereotypical red mid-life crisis sports car) - but financially it's totally out of the question, so he's still puttering around town in my Grandpa's old Dodge Neon - a completely adequate (albeit boring) car.
I tried to encourage him to become a beer drinker. There are so many interesting beers out there nowadays, and I figure if my big brother can appreciate an ale, (as well as my oldest childhood friend who promises to take me to some pubs in London where you can chew the beer), then so could Asia. He didn't go for it though. He seldom drinks, and when he does, it's usually a little sip of my Mike's Hard Lemonade - he just doesn't really enjoy it.
He could take up body building. But he pretty much already thinks he could be an underwear model, so I guess in his mind there's not much room for improvement in that area.
Perhaps reality tv is the way to go. Maybe Survivor... although he would get voted off within the first few days because I'm sure he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut.
Inspired by my friend Kelly, I told him he should get a motorcycle. That conversation didn't go far though because I was talking Harley and he was talking (pardon the term) crotch rocket (complete with the matching leather pants and jacket) and I just couldn't go there.
So there - we seem to be at a bit of an impasse.
What would you suggest? I'm open to just about anything that doesn't involve trophy wives or moving...
I'll be sure to pass on your ideas to him, if he hasn't died of boredom.
Here's the deal - (and I say this with the deepest affection) - he's BORING. (I've known it for years, but he's just now starting to realize this himself.) I love the steadiness, the consistency, the safe-ness of his being boring. I know what to expect. Now, on occasion, I've been known to accuse him of flatlining... usually on a weekend when I want to get out and do something and he's just being his normal, contented self... but most of the time, I appreciate his even demeanor.
The other day, he asked me "Do you think I should start smoking or something?" Now, of course, he said it in jest, but it is indicative of his heart right now - he is looking for some sort of change - an oomph, if you will, to his flatlined existence.
He's talked about getting a tattoo. Which is totally okay with me, if he's serious. I told him it should be a heart with my name in it on his arm, but evidently that wasn't what he had in mind.
He'd LOVE to buy a new car (thankfully not the stereotypical red mid-life crisis sports car) - but financially it's totally out of the question, so he's still puttering around town in my Grandpa's old Dodge Neon - a completely adequate (albeit boring) car.
I tried to encourage him to become a beer drinker. There are so many interesting beers out there nowadays, and I figure if my big brother can appreciate an ale, (as well as my oldest childhood friend who promises to take me to some pubs in London where you can chew the beer), then so could Asia. He didn't go for it though. He seldom drinks, and when he does, it's usually a little sip of my Mike's Hard Lemonade - he just doesn't really enjoy it.
He could take up body building. But he pretty much already thinks he could be an underwear model, so I guess in his mind there's not much room for improvement in that area.
Perhaps reality tv is the way to go. Maybe Survivor... although he would get voted off within the first few days because I'm sure he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut.
Inspired by my friend Kelly, I told him he should get a motorcycle. That conversation didn't go far though because I was talking Harley and he was talking (pardon the term) crotch rocket (complete with the matching leather pants and jacket) and I just couldn't go there.
So there - we seem to be at a bit of an impasse.
What would you suggest? I'm open to just about anything that doesn't involve trophy wives or moving...
I'll be sure to pass on your ideas to him, if he hasn't died of boredom.
Well, whatever it is maybe he and Danny could do it together. Someone asked Danny what he does for fun the other day and he couldn't really formulate an answer. At least one that wouldn't make him sound like a geek...reading political articles on the internet, doing science experiments with his kids...etc...
ReplyDeleteBasically, I got nothin' for you, but I also can appreciate the steady husband.
hmmmmm. Midlife crisis. Totally not my area of expertise. Tell him to go sit in a college classroom for a day and then he'll just appreciate being past that stage of life and maybe get over it :) And if that doesn't work, I think boys like stuff like skydiving and other I-am -a-man-who-stares-death-in-the-face activites.
ReplyDeleteI too can relate to the stable, steady hubby that I truly do appreciate but can also relate to the boring side of that. My hubby turns 40 this year but hasn't shown signs of uneasiness yet. I wish I had something to give ya. Maybe an overseas experience would be good. We have an extra bed any time.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note I wanted to let you know that I am farfromhome on the epic website.
Leana
Leana - thanks for visiting - I went and read your journal and left you a comment. Asia loves to travel, and I don't think he's ever been to Argentina - wouldn't that be something??? I hadn't thought of encouraging him to continue traveling in this phase of his life... it's a great idea.
ReplyDeleteWelcome!
Yup...I vote for travel. There's something about travel and different cultures that makes life seem more immediate and forces you to live in the present because you are aware of different smells and sounds and fragrances. I love Costa Rica (cilantro in the market and diesel exhaust in the streets from the buses). I think Argentina would be FABULOUS. AND, he could study the tango before he goes. (Think of those hot, romantic nights! And it could be something you do together.) Argentina is also cool because of the sort of European feel of Buenos Aires yet out in the pampas, it would be very different. He could take up golf and play different golf courses in the world. Or cooking (!) or how about microlights. (a bit expensive but such fun and think of the aerial view!) Well, travel would be great. That's my vote and I'm stickin' with it.
ReplyDeleteI am absolutly cracking up at the thought of you and Asia dancing the tango on a "hot romantic night." I'm still trying to get over the image of underwear model and now you have added the tango to the whole thing! I would encourage traveling as a hobby because it has the wonderful side benefit that...you would get to travel too!!!
ReplyDeleteYikes - I'm married to the man and some of these images are scaring me!
ReplyDeleteGreat ideas - although realistically, travel would only be a once in a while sort of thing - I'm thinking maybe he needs something that affects his daily (or at least weekly) life... I still think it's a great idea - whether we can afford it is another thing altogether. Hmmm.
I'm thinking that I really need to concentrate on being a really adoring wife through all of this - just concentrate on being his biggest fan - his best support - his perfect dream-come-true kind of gal... (not my strongest suit, I'm afraid - I've learned so much about this in the past few years and have really worked on getting better at it.)
Thanks for all your insights and ideas, friends.