Prayer

Lord over the wind and the waves and the sea -
Sovereign.
I am brought to my knees in the face of such suffering,
and humbled by my selfish heart.
How is it that it takes an American tragedy to pique my sorrow,
when every day there is terrible anguish and misery the world over?
Forgive me.

I am overwrought.
Paralyzed by guilt over the ease of my circumstances.
Heartbroken by the sheer depths of what could only be Your compassion.
Restless with helplessness.
Make me more mortified. More sorrowful. More poor.
Strip away the daily distractions that turn my eyes from the desperate circumstances of this world.
Make this heart heavy with anguish my daily companion so I can better understand how many people need you.
Because life sucks. It's messy and painful and unwavering in its punishment.
The world is drowning in the disease of sin just like New Orleans.
Only You provide hope in despair.

I cannot go.
I cannot wrap my arms around those mommas with their crying babies.
I cannot bring those desperate families into my warm, dry home, where there is enough food to feed them and warm water to bathe them.
I cannot clumsily comfort those who have lost so much, or be Your Hands and Feet to the broken, desperate masses.

But I will pray.
I will pray fervently for your comfort and your mercy and compassion.
I will pray that the waters recede.
I will pray for hope.
And provision.
And for Your glory to shine over it all, somehow.