"Son of a Brick!"

Fortunately, that's what E. heard last night when he walked into the room where Asia was watching an episode of "Lost." He probably wouldn't have even paid attention to the phrase, but when S. heard it, she immediately gasped, then looked from Asia to E. and back again to see what they were both going to do...

"What?" asked E. "What did he say???"

"Nothing," replied Asia, hoping to let it slide.

No such luck. "What - did he say a bad word?"

Asia: "What did you hear?"

E: "Son of a Brick"

Asia: "Okay, son. Now you know. You may not say that, okay? It's inappropriate."

E: "Alright, Daddy."

End of story.

I remember when I was growing up, fart was a bad word. We couldn't utter it - although my brothers and I would say it to each other. In our house we didn't fart, we poodered. I know - it's worse, much much worse. I have vivid memories of my Dad walking into a room, wrinkling up his nose and saying "Who poodered?" It totally makes me giggle now to think of that. What a stupid word. Pooder?

My parents did a fabulous job raising all three of us, if I do say so myself. My brothers and I all grew into responsible, God fearing adults and married wonderful Christian spouses. So I'm not about to criticize their parenting. But, I am going to make fun of them, just a teeny tiny bit, just because I know they'll be okay with it - and because I think words like pooder are pee your pants funny.

You see, there was a whole vocabulary of words that we used to describe delicate issues around the house... not only did we pooder instead of fart, but we had "the scoots" instead of diarrhea and referred to our private parts simply as "my body" instead of the anatomically correct penis or vagina. We didn't poop or pee. Instead, we would use the bathroom to "sit" or "tinkle." If we had any sort of personal itching issues, we would simply discreetly ask for the Lanacane. We didn't have butts (perhaps this is the reason for the infamous lack of butt on any of us...) - we only had bottoms. And don't even think of bringing up sex. There were no words for that.

Now, obviously, much of this is a generational thing. There was much more formality in the 70's, at least within the conservative church going population. I'd venture to say that there weren't many people going around talking about their vaginas or their diarrhea or sex... and I'd also step out there and say that probably in many ways, that was a good thing. But - I'll tell you right now, that in our house, we poop and pee and have penises and vagnias and we fart. My kids have been known to yell out in the middle of store aisles, while sticking their hands down their pants "I'VE GOT A RASH!!!" We talk about sex, at least with the two to whom we've explained the process... and we use the correct terminology - for all of it.

I pretty much draw the line there though. I don't want my kids expressing themselves with profanities, just as I try to limit their use in my own mouth. There was a time in my life when I could cuss like a sailor during a particularly rebellious period in highschool (sorry Mom.) It was pretty ugly. And I suffer the remnants of that occasionally even now, so that if especially if I get hurt, one particular expletive rushes into my brain - where I either supress it or allow myself to mutter it forcefully and quietly under my breath.

I know there is this movement within the emerging church to not characterize words as "bad" or "curse" words, and allow the freedom to express yourself using whatever words necessary. There are even pastors who feel the freedom to curse, or so I hear. It's becoming sort of a non-issue, I guess... perhaps in an effort to avoid legalism.

I am all for avoiding legalism. And if I'm in a conversation and you choose to use "colorful" language, I'm totally okay with it. I will not judge you based on your choice of words. I accept that we are all on our own journeys with God - there is actually a lot of new testament scripture addressing freedom - apart from the law - to live our lives before God according to our own set of convictions and thoughtful awareness of our weaknesses. And it is in those same passages where we are instructed to be careful how we live our lives before others - to consider our brothers and sisters and not cause them to stumble by our own set of freedoms. So, while what I do, (whether it's drinking a glass of wine, or feeling the freedom to allow a curse word to pass through my lips) is completely between me and God - I'll make every effort to be sure not to offend you or your set of convictions in the process. And I expect my brothers and sisters to do the same.

So, while I want my kids to use normal words for their body parts and functions, I am still sensitive about what comes out of their little mouths. I want their words to be respectful and considerate and age appropriate. And, I want them to begin to understand the concept of considering their audience - and not causing others to stumble. If they have friends who are not allowed to use words like fart or butt, I want them to curtail their use of those words in said friends' presence. While I've begun to allow K. to express his amazing sense of humor by inserting a word like "crap" here and there, I want him to understand that it's okay at home, but not okay in his school classroom or around younger kids. I want them to develop a sense of responsiblity in their choice of words. Therefore, if you come to my house, set a good example and be sure your words only include things like penis, vagina, fart and son of a brick.