Here I sit in my robe, coffee steaming in my favorite mug, with my dog at my feet... all is good in the world... Asia is off playing tennis and we managed to get out of standing in the rain to watch soccer this morning - S. has a pretty nasty cold so we'll stay home in our cozy house instead.
I've been thinking a lot about God's love this week... how generous and giving and lavish it is. So much of the teaching I've received over my life has been more about being a certain type of person. Being good. Being a servant. Being a gift user. Being a christian. Being a member of a church.... In all the being, I've forgotten to enjoy the very One who gives me my being. The One in whose image I was created. The One who loves me so much that He became like me so I could SEE HIM.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God."
There is nothing wrong with being any of those things I listed. It's just that so often, in being them, I see that as the final destination instead of the relationship.
Christians talk all the time about having a "personal relationship" with Jesus. But I have to wonder how many really feel that. I think so many people mistake their efforts to serve God for the relationship - and certainly, serving and giving is a huge part of any relationship. But it's so easy to let that be it. To stop at serving and never take the time to love and be loved by God.
Think about that.
I imagine it like this. I grew up seeing my walk with God sort of like he's an employer - perhaps he's hired me to do domestic work for him in one of his mansions. So I clean and scrub and use my God-given toilet disinfecting talents to please him... I try my darndest to be kind and friendly to the other "staff" and build meaningful relationships with them as well. People are often amazed by my toilet cleaning skills, and I'm given much responsibility within the framework of the mansion hierarchy. I'm always looking over my shoulder to see if everyone is noticing my efforts - especially the boss - because I know he must be pleased with my hard work. There is often a lot of noise in the house, as different employees share the things they have learned from the boss, but often it ends up being more of a discussion about what the boss meant when he said this, or that. When the boss visits, often everyone is so busy using their gifts to please him that they don't notice His presence.
When instead, I think it's supposed to look more like this:
God invites us into His mansion. He wants us to sit with him. Have coffee. Snuggle up at his feet and listen. Sometimes there are chores to be done. And I can use my gifts to serve him - but instead of being the supervisor who only appears occasionally, He is right next to me, giving me encouragement and strength to complete the task. He never leaves my side. He loves to watch the interactions of those who are in the mansion, but is saddened when we argue about his words. He is most pleased when we are efficient and purposeful and generous with each other - then we can finish our tasks and listen. We are always listening to him, and not worried about getting our own words in the way. There is much more time for leisure than I ever imagined and somehow, when we take the time away from our duties to sit at his feet, the work gets done without us.
That's the relationship I want. It's the relationship I've been pursuing.
I so badly need to understand His presence and His Love. I feel like this last few months, He's taken me into a room all by myself and is just speaking words of love to me. Grace. Mercy. Unconditional, unadulterated, unbelievable love. He's allowed me to be away from all the distractions of the others in the mansion for a time, and now he's slowly opening the door and carefully letting me hear some of the chatter outside. It's comforting and calm and I am excited to walk out and see what's happening out there. But I'm taking Him with me... Hand in hand we'll go out and see what everyone is up to. And hand in hand we'll begin the new work he's got in store for me. But more than anything else, I'll be listening to Him. And I won't be so busy that I don't hear.
I've been thinking a lot about God's love this week... how generous and giving and lavish it is. So much of the teaching I've received over my life has been more about being a certain type of person. Being good. Being a servant. Being a gift user. Being a christian. Being a member of a church.... In all the being, I've forgotten to enjoy the very One who gives me my being. The One in whose image I was created. The One who loves me so much that He became like me so I could SEE HIM.
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God."
There is nothing wrong with being any of those things I listed. It's just that so often, in being them, I see that as the final destination instead of the relationship.
Christians talk all the time about having a "personal relationship" with Jesus. But I have to wonder how many really feel that. I think so many people mistake their efforts to serve God for the relationship - and certainly, serving and giving is a huge part of any relationship. But it's so easy to let that be it. To stop at serving and never take the time to love and be loved by God.
Think about that.
I imagine it like this. I grew up seeing my walk with God sort of like he's an employer - perhaps he's hired me to do domestic work for him in one of his mansions. So I clean and scrub and use my God-given toilet disinfecting talents to please him... I try my darndest to be kind and friendly to the other "staff" and build meaningful relationships with them as well. People are often amazed by my toilet cleaning skills, and I'm given much responsibility within the framework of the mansion hierarchy. I'm always looking over my shoulder to see if everyone is noticing my efforts - especially the boss - because I know he must be pleased with my hard work. There is often a lot of noise in the house, as different employees share the things they have learned from the boss, but often it ends up being more of a discussion about what the boss meant when he said this, or that. When the boss visits, often everyone is so busy using their gifts to please him that they don't notice His presence.
When instead, I think it's supposed to look more like this:
God invites us into His mansion. He wants us to sit with him. Have coffee. Snuggle up at his feet and listen. Sometimes there are chores to be done. And I can use my gifts to serve him - but instead of being the supervisor who only appears occasionally, He is right next to me, giving me encouragement and strength to complete the task. He never leaves my side. He loves to watch the interactions of those who are in the mansion, but is saddened when we argue about his words. He is most pleased when we are efficient and purposeful and generous with each other - then we can finish our tasks and listen. We are always listening to him, and not worried about getting our own words in the way. There is much more time for leisure than I ever imagined and somehow, when we take the time away from our duties to sit at his feet, the work gets done without us.
That's the relationship I want. It's the relationship I've been pursuing.
I so badly need to understand His presence and His Love. I feel like this last few months, He's taken me into a room all by myself and is just speaking words of love to me. Grace. Mercy. Unconditional, unadulterated, unbelievable love. He's allowed me to be away from all the distractions of the others in the mansion for a time, and now he's slowly opening the door and carefully letting me hear some of the chatter outside. It's comforting and calm and I am excited to walk out and see what's happening out there. But I'm taking Him with me... Hand in hand we'll go out and see what everyone is up to. And hand in hand we'll begin the new work he's got in store for me. But more than anything else, I'll be listening to Him. And I won't be so busy that I don't hear.
A great picture. Thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteLorraine
Wise and wonderful word picture! It does my heart good to see you in such a place.
ReplyDeleteYES! This is one of the best descriptions of the relationship we have with God that I have ever read. I love this entry and I love the way you have shared your feelings. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
ReplyDelete