Potty Duty

Okay, I'm up because it's my night to take Gracie out for her last pee of the night before we go to bed. Asia's getting up in the middle of the night because I'm the one who works tomorrow, so I get the last-pee duty. He went to bed about an hour ago. The house is delightfully quiet and dark and I'm trying desperately to get a two-weeks old episode of Grey's Anatomy watched, but the computer keeps calling my name and I'm distracted by blogs and emails and puttering.

I'll be working tomorrow and then heading to Portland early Saturday morning, so there probably won't be a post from me until Tuesday. Unless I take my laptop, which may be a possibility... I'll think on that.

If I do desert you all, please come back. I'm always afraid to go too long without a post for fear that you will all find better blogs to go read. That would hurt my heart. Don't ask me why, because it's sort of pathetic, but it's true. I love all my blog readers. Heaven knows it's easier to talk to you than pick up the phone and actually talk to one of my real-life friends. I thought I would work on that whole business of connecting with real people this fall and have failed miserably... I don't know what my problem is. I'm sure it has to do with self-protection, but I'm too tired to think about it right now.

We had friends over for dinner earlier this week and the wife was asking how changing churches has changed my friendships. I hemmed and hawed... and couldn't really say for certain that it had changed much at all. I don't know if that makes me sad, or not. The people I was friends with before, I'm still in touch with, to some degree. Because of my telephonophobia (yes, it's the correct term, I looked it up...) I didn't talk to my ex-church friends that often, and when I saw them on Sundays, sadly, I was more often worried about feeling included than anything else. In many ways, I feel like my friendships in most cases are better because I don't have the concern about fitting in or competing for attention. God has me in a different place now and I'm fully focused on seeing where He's taking me. My personal feelings about friendship and girlfriends in general have taken a huge backseat to developing my relationship with God. So I think that's all good.

I went and wrote a whole paragraph when I just said I was too tired to think about it. That's what I love about writing. I've always been able to work through stuff much better with pen and paper (or keyboard) than in spoken words or thoughts.

I've been reevaluating lots of things lately, especially concerning my job and my scrapbooking. I go in phases, where I really want to be published, and I submit to magazines like crazy - and then I'll go months where I just don't want to put the energy into it, and I scrapbook solely for myself, with no thought to being published. Now, with the new rules out for the granddaddy of them all - Creating Keepsakes' Hall of Fame contest, I'm thinking a lot again about being pub-worthy in my scrapbooking efforts. It's never good to make decisions when you're as sleep deprived as I've been this week, but at this point, I don't think I'll enter the contest this year. I just can't hack the pressure - although last year, my entry forced me to try all kinds of stuff that I wouldn't have done - and I LOVE the pages I created. Oh who knows? Suffice it to say, I really just want to be stretched as an artist, and there's a fine balance between letting goals stretch me and allowing them to stress me out... I haven't figured out what tips the scales for me yet. I've been so out of touch with my creative side this week - I'm totally uninspired. There's nothing tipping the scales at this moment because they're completely empty and limp, like a banana peel discovered in a lunch box after a long weekend. Yuck. Again - not a good time to make a decision.

Okay - that metaphor totally wore me out. Now I have a headache.

Going.to.go.to.bed.now...

'Night all.