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My own personal miracle

I always wear my seatbelt.

Religiously.

Not because some expert tells people that seatbelts save lives... No, I wear my seatbelt because 22 years ago today, I was thrown from a rolling vehicle going 40 miles an hour.

I don't really want to do that again.

December 27th was the day our church youth group was leaving for Christmas Conference - a huge Conservative Baptist gathering of youth groups from all over the state of Oregon. It was something I'd looked forward to for years - my first time to go to this mecca of high school hormones and campy fun. My best friend and I had talked about it for hours on the phone - how fun it would be, and who we might see there from summer camp.

We loaded up the van at the church, said our goodbyes to our parents (see ya!) and were on our way. My best friend and I were in the first row, our friends Brian and Matt behind us. I can't remember, but it seems like maybe there was someone else in the backseat.

I pulled out pictures to show to Brian and Matt. I don't know what they were of, but I remember sitting sideways in my seat, looking through the stack with them and laughing together.

Several miles out of town, I remember the van sliding on the road. It was cold out, but there was no snow. I looked up, out the front window and saw that we were sliding around, tail end first into the opposing lane of traffic. I thought in my head "We must be sliding on ice."

Then it was total chaos - horrible noise and rolling and bouncing and then I was flying through the air, free of the van. I thought "I'm flying through the air." I felt like I was in the air forever. When I landed, I rolled. And rolled. I thought I would never stop rolling. I never felt any pain.

When I finally came to a stop, I stood up. I saw my friend Brian about 20 feet from me, but I couldn't see the van. I wandered up the hill a bit, and saw a picture on the ground, torn in half. It was the one I'd been holding when we started to slide. Somehow that made me think of my best friend, Corey, whom I hadn't seen. I started screaming her name, desperate to see her and know she was okay.

I came around a grouping of trees and saw the van, lying on it's side. The back door was swinging open and Corey was coming out. I was relieved to see the rest of the passengers and the driver make their way out with no injuries to speak of. Brian and I were the only two thrown from the van, and we were both up and moving.

There are lots of random memories of that day... it's all kind of a blur, partly due to time, and partly due to the fact that I was in shock at the time.

I remember:
  • we walked up to the side of the road and sat on the curb, where someone told us an ambulance was on it's way. All I could think about was how we were ever going to get to Portland without the van.
  • there was another van from the church following ours - my brother was in that van. He saw the whole accident, and although I've never really talked to him about it, I think he even saw my body flying through the air... I can't imagine what that must have been like.
  • my youth group leader told me he did see my body flying through the air, but that he also had a vision of God holding out a big catcher's mitt for me. I love that imagery. If I were a better artist, I'd do a drawing of that catcher's mitt in colored pencil.
  • my back really started hurting once we were in the ambulance. I hadn't felt any pain until then. I remember getting really cold and that every shake of my shivering body made shooting pain run through my lower back.
  • the ambulance men (one of whom looked like that really hairy guy with the glasses that used to be on Hollywood Squares) really thought it was serious that my back hurt. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but they put me on a body board and told me not to move. I thought they should just relax - after all, I'd been up walking around not ten minutes before.
  • the ride to the hospital was surreal. It seemed like we went really slowly. It really hurt when they took my gurney out of the ambulance and the wheels dropped.
  • They cut my sweater off in the emergency room. That made me pretty mad.
  • I remember my parents coming into my little curtained-off space in the hospital. I don't remember anything anyone said. I still didn't really think it was that big of a deal, and really still thought we could maybe make the trip to Portland. After all, I didn't want to miss my first Christmas Conference.
  • My parents took me home and put me to bed. Once there, we discovered a huge cut in the middle of my back. The hospital hadn't seen it, apparently, because it still had pine needles in it. My Mom called a nurse friend of ours, who told her to clean it out with hydrogen peroxide. I have a large scar on my back from that cut.
  • My friend Brian called and told me his Mom had been picking glass out of his head for about an hour. Apparently he broke the window out with his head and I followed, scraping my back on something on my way out of the van.
  • Once I got into bed, I remember being so sore I could hardly move. Every muscle in my body seemed connected to one very painful spot in my lower back. It was scary for my fourteen year old self to feel so much pain just trying to move.
  • My brother Steve was working a night shift at the time. He got home very early in the morning. I hadn't slept much at all that night - I kept reliving the accident, and all my dreams were related to that feeling of sliding on the ice. When he came in and hugged me, he said some smart-alecky big brother thing, and I cried. It was the first time I cried since the accident happened.
  • For about a week after the accident I lived in my bed and my Dad's recliner. It took me forever to get from one place to the other. I had to walk SO slowly.
  • When school started back up, I was determined to go back with everyone else. I managed to get dressed and got to school, but after one class, I remember standing at my locker and feeling that sharp pain at that spot in my back and knew I wouldn't make it. I called my Mom and went home.
  • I never did make it to a Christmas Conference. My last three years in highschool, I was a cheerleader and had to be home to cheer at the Christmas basketball tournament.

It took me years to feel like I could go anywhere when there was the potential for icy roads. The van had hit a huge patch of black ice - which you cannot see and cannot predict. Moving to Spokane, God saw fit to heal that fear in me and I am able to drive anytime, regardless of road conditions and without the gripping fear I felt for years.

I still struggle with back pain. It's always that same spot in my lower back. I don't know if there was something the doctors should have done at the time of the accident that would have alleviated that. They didn't seem too thorough at the hospital. I remember x-rays, but that's about all. In the grand scheme of things, it's not bad, and if I exercise regularly and keep my core muscles strong, I don't notice the back pain much.

I don't know many people who are thrown from cars and live to tell about it. A couple months after our accident, another kid from our highschool was thrown from a car and died instantly. The driver was the only person in our van wearing a seatbelt, we all walked away virtually injury free from that accident. December 27th, 1983 could have been the last day of my life. There are so many things that could have happened to any one of the passengers in that van that day. Instead, God chose to spare all of us from any kind of life changing injury. How I managed to fly through the air at 40 miles an hour - a human projectile - and land without even breaking a bone, I cannot explain.

I didn't see it, but my youth group leader did. A big, giant, soft, God sized catcher's mitt saved my life.

That, my friends, is a miracle.

Comments

  1. Anonymous11:29 AM

    Cathy,

    I remember that day just like it was yesterday. I remember that you were wearing a red scarf. I remember that because when I was in the van behind you I saw a body fly out of the side window of the van while it was rolling in the air. I knew it was you because of that red scarf. I remember thinking over and over, 'my sister is dead, my sister is dead.'

    I remember our youth group leader asking at the girls in our van, "do you have any panty liners?" I thought that such a strange thing for him to say, but afterwards found out that in case anyone was bleeding, he would use these to apply first aid.

    I remember getting out of our van and waiving down the next car that passed and asking them to drive up to the nearest house and call 911. (those were the days before cell phones). I also refused to go down the hill because I couldn't bear the thought of seeing your dead body.

    I don't remember how I found out that you were okay. I remember the ambulance coming, and I wanted so much to ride with you to the hosptial but they wouldn't let me. I don't remember who got me to the hospital.

    Once at the hospital, I remember just breaking down and crying uncontrollably. At the accident scene there was just too much adreneline and too many things going on to let me emotions get involved. But once there was nothing for me to do but wait, I lost it. La Chel came to the hospital and sat us in the waiting room.

    Ever time I have to drive in ice I think about that day. And yes, I always wear my seat belt.

    Thanks for the reminder of God's grace and protection.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous7:59 AM

    Cath
    That is one night none of us will ever forget. We actually got the phone call all parents pray they will never receive. The one that says your child has been in an accident! It is a parents worst fear. Still can't believe the hospital missed the gash on your back. I can remember talking to Dave and he also related to us the baseball mitt catch. I really believe that God just caught you as gently as he could and laid you on the groun. He still had great and wonderful things for you to do on this earth and we praise Him for that often. Just when we were coming home from Spokane from our Christmas visit your Dad mentioned the accident right at that spot as we were coming home and it was snowing and the roads were slippery
    That spot in the road always makes us give thanks again to God for letting you stay with us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous6:33 PM

    Cathy... goodness... I just want you to know that I am so thankful that you were ok! Isnt God amazing?? I am so thankful that He is a God of miracles!

    Glad to be back to blogging :) Hugs!

    ReplyDelete

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