So here's what I think

Alrighty then.

I've been thinking a lot about this issue and I just need to type it out. Put it out there. Process it through my fingers, which tends to be the best way for me to think through things.

So here goes.

God loves homosexuals.

Now, that may seem an obvious statement to some people, and it may be uncomfortable for others. Or you may agree, but not really want to deal with the messiness that comes along with a statement like that... but whatever your reaction, it is true.

Somehow, through the course of my life, God has chosen to connect me with many people who have had to deal with sexual issues - either as a childhood victim, or as an adult who is fighting the battle over sexual addiction, pornography or homosexuality. I've met scores of victims of molestation, women whose husbands choose porn over them, and men who are attracted to other men. I didn't ask for this - in fact, I doubt there are many people who would sign up for this kind of "ministry." But here I am, and together, Asia and I have befriended and counseled many people over the years for whom sexual "normalcy" is a struggle.

Lately, it's been homosexuals. Gay men somehow keep showing up in our lives. Gay men who love God. Yes - it's true.

Now, with my conservative religious upbringing, that would seem to be a complete impossiblity. After all, if you love God, why would you choose to disregard so blatently His design for sex?

The older I get and the more of these men I meet though, the more I see that the church is doing a huge disservice to gay men. (And women, I'm sure, but I don't have the personal experiences with lesbians that I've had with gay men.)

Here's what I think. Nature vs. Nurture isn't the issue. I don't think it matters whether there is a "gay gene" or not. What matters is there is a whole demographic that we have neglected to love because of the nature of their sin. Yes - I believe homosexual sex is sin. But so is premarital sex and extramarital sex. Somehow, we are able to forgive and love people who miss the mark in those areas of sexual sin, but so many fundamental Christian churches absolutely turn their backs on those who struggle with homosexual sin.

The fact is - I believe so many Christians are so disgusted by the notion of a man having sex with another man that they cannot fathom showing the love of Christ to someone who would do that. When truth be told, it's just another sin on the long list of sins that separate us from God.

Certainly, the natural consequences of sexual sin are often more severe than the consequences of the "more accepted" sins. But your anger or your grumbling will keep you out of heaven the same way homosexual sex will keep someone else out - short of the grace of God. Your selfishness and pride are the same sins that sent Jesus to the cross as someone's lust. We're all in need of mercy and grace and not one of us can stand before God without the atonement made for us by Christ.

So what do we do with gay people?

I believe we need to reach out to them. Love them. Welcome them into our homes and our churches and let them talk about their struggles. Hold hands with them as we worship together and take communion with them and accept them with all their messy struggles. 'Cause it's messy, folks.

If this makes you uncomfortable, answer me this:
If they don't feel the love of God in the church, where are they ever going to feel it?

We are to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. And I believe if He were here today, he would be actively pursuing and loving gay people. Sharing meals with them. Laughing with them. Calling them his brothers. And then, telling them to go and sin no more.

Sin no more. What does that look like for a gay man?

That's the messy part. Because the truth is, they may cause a terrible amount of damage if they choose to get married to a woman in an effort to squelch their homosexuality. I don't believe this is a struggle that God chooses to "deliver" people from completely - at least not often. Usually, it is a life long struggle. A thorn in the flesh, if you will.

So if they shouldn't get married, basically, we're asking them to live not just a celibate life - but a celibate life with no hope of ever being able to connect wholeheartedly with another person. A celibate life without the possibility of finally meeting that "special someone" someday. I think the difficulty there is less about the sex and more about the loneliness.

That sucks.

So, if we hold that homosexuality is a sin, and that homosexuals must deny their urges, then the church darn well better be there to embrace and love and provide a home for these people. Because I can't think of a more difficult cross to bear.

Bear one another's burdens.

The church embraces recovering alchoholics, pregnant teens, ex-cons who found Jesus in jail, moms who yell at their kids, husbands who are fighting a battle with internet porn, and a myriad of other sinners.

Why don't we love the gay people?