Reflections on the Deep Recesses

I spent a ridiculous amount of time reading my blog last night.

Asia's gone, you know. So I can do whatever I want to in the evenings.

Two nights ago it was "Memoirs of a Geisha" - at least the first hour and a half... and popcorn.

Last night I finished the last hour of the movie with a mug full of ice cream, then read the archives of "Thoughts from the Deep Recesses."

I've written a lot over the last 17 months.

Grown a lot.

Changed a lot.

I really am thankful for this forum to record life's good and bad. The laughs and the struggles. The lessons. The questions. The events.

I've probably experienced more growth and change in my heart over the past year and a half than I did in the ten years before that.

And that's good.

I've learned to stand on God.

God alone.

I'm no longer standing on friends.
Or church.
Or affluence.
Or appearance.
Not on talent, or well-behaved children or great teaching.

And I'm free.
Free to fail.
Free to heal.
Free to wait on God.
Free from trying to conform or perform or pretend.
Free to be real.

I walk with a much lighter load these days.

Still, I find myself in a bit of a wilderness.
A little bit alone.
A little bit uncertain.
There's still more to learn, I can tell.

But here, I can look up and see an unobstructed view of God smiling down on me.
I can look down and see my feet planted more firmly than ever before.

It's good.

And I'm grateful.