Asia and I had an interesting conversation over the weekend.
I put a lot of weight on the words 'will you forgive me?' and not much weight at all on 'I'm sorry.'
And here's why: 'I'm sorry' feels like a simple acknowledgement - 'I know I did something wrong.' That's an important part of an apology. But it feels empty, or incomplete, as far as I'm concerned, without going a step further and asking forgiveness.
When my kids hurt or offend each other, they must ask forgiveness.
It takes a lot more to say "Will you forgive me?" It takes the ownership of the resolution out of the offender's hands and places it on the one hurt. It requires humility.
A murmured "I'm sorry" (rife with shallow 'can we get this over with?' insincerety) is not nearly as soft or submissive as asking forgiveness.
It's similar to the difference between acknowledging that Jesus was a good man - maybe even the Son of God - and humbly bowing your knee before Him and recognizing your need for mercy. For grace. For absolution.
Just some food for thought on this quiet Monday morning... do you ask forgiveness?
I put a lot of weight on the words 'will you forgive me?' and not much weight at all on 'I'm sorry.'
And here's why: 'I'm sorry' feels like a simple acknowledgement - 'I know I did something wrong.' That's an important part of an apology. But it feels empty, or incomplete, as far as I'm concerned, without going a step further and asking forgiveness.
When my kids hurt or offend each other, they must ask forgiveness.
It takes a lot more to say "Will you forgive me?" It takes the ownership of the resolution out of the offender's hands and places it on the one hurt. It requires humility.
A murmured "I'm sorry" (rife with shallow 'can we get this over with?' insincerety) is not nearly as soft or submissive as asking forgiveness.
It's similar to the difference between acknowledging that Jesus was a good man - maybe even the Son of God - and humbly bowing your knee before Him and recognizing your need for mercy. For grace. For absolution.
Just some food for thought on this quiet Monday morning... do you ask forgiveness?
I am learning that I usually don't take responsibility for my wrong-doing. Usually, I explain it away. God doesn't much like that.
ReplyDeletecathy, i agree with you wholeheartedly. from day one, my husband and i agreed that we would seek eachother's forgiveness and grant forgiveness in everything. and when one of us uses the words "i'm sorry" in anything less than a sincere manner, we call eachother out on it... (which leads to more apologizing.) hehe. ;) it's not always easy, but it keeps us from harboring resentment or bitterness. it's all about humility and treating others the way you want to be treated. we forgive much because we have been forgiven much.
ReplyDeleteIt takes some humility on our part to acknowledge our wrong doings, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteYes, I do ask forgiveness- and so does Andy. We do pretty well in that department. If only I could learn to hold my tongue quicker...