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Clarity.

Went
to
bed
last
night
exhausted.

"Why?"
I
asked
Asia.

"Why
can't
I
find
joy
this
holiday
season?"

"Why
am
I
so
tired?"

"And
empty?"

So
many
tears...

When
I
open
the
floodgates
stuff
really
flows...

But
most
of
the
time
the
floodgates
are
locked
tightly
shut.

"I
am
so
afraid."

"I
don't
know
how
to
trust
God
when
I
know
He's
breaking
my
heart..."

And
then,
in
a
quiet
moment,
I
heard
the
word
"EMBRACE."

Embrace it.
Embrace the pain.
Embrace the raw feelings - so that instead of feeling overwhelmed
and trapped by them, I can look them in the eye and be empowered by them.
Embrace the nakedness I feel in my soul.
Embrace the fear leading into this terrible goodbye.
Embrace a God who is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Embrace knowing that Tejan is in the hands of God Almighty.
Embrace the brokeness.

Because
it
is
far
more
real
than
the
distracted
way
I
live
my
life
90%
of
the
time.

I woke up this morning to clear skies after
two or three weeks of thick cloud cover.

It
is
so
beautiful.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Psalm 51:17

Comments

  1. Anonymous10:48 AM

    Praying. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leana3:45 PM

    Hey Cathy,
    Thanks again for sharing and being real. I want to direct you to a blog that I just love. Lovella shared on this topic and I think it might minister to you. Her blog is www.lovella-at-home.blogspot.com.
    Blessings to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Melissa10:17 AM

    Cathy, I am so often blessed and convicted and encouraged and challenged by your transparency. I too have been trying to embrace brokenness and stop shoving it to the side because I don't have time for it.

    Sometimes I'm sure we are twins separated at birth. (Especially since we both claim to make the world's best chocolate chip cookies. How can that be unless we have the same genetic material? ;)

    Melissa

    ReplyDelete

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