I was awakened early this morning by blustery wind and rain outside. It's been storming all night. The snow is melting and there is wet, slushy stuff everywhere you look.
It would be a great day to stay in.
After all, it's Monday. And Monday is my favorite day to stay in.
However, I'll have to drive the kids to school.
And take T. to a dentist's appointment.
And pick them up again.
And teach a class tonight.
So staying in is not an option.
***
I counted up the other day. So far, since September, I've taken Tejan to 25 doctor appointments.
Wow.
***
I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with this little guy.
How it's a lot like a summer camp relationship.
When I worked at summer camp, the friendships were always in fast-forward. You're spending so much time with the other staff, it's like a year or two of normal life crammed into two and a half months of heightened relational intimacy. Within days, you've seen each other without makeup. By the end of a week, you've shared all your deepest darkest secrets in the dead of the night while sleeping in a tee pee.
It's intense.
I feel like my mothering of Tejan is on that same fast track.
It's acute. Quick. An exaggerated and profound connection.
There is a bond I have with him that is different from anything I've experienced with any other person.
And frankly, it freaks me out a little.
Because I'm totally on uncharted territory.
***
We are now at the point where the time we have left with him is shorter than the time he's been here.
And I'm beginning to start a sort of subconscious countdown.
I know it's coming.
The Goodbye.
I can't even type it without feeling panicky and choked-up and agitated.
***
Time for my shower.
I hope your day is less slippery and sloppy and wet than mine will be.
***
Smooches, friends.
It would be a great day to stay in.
After all, it's Monday. And Monday is my favorite day to stay in.
However, I'll have to drive the kids to school.
And take T. to a dentist's appointment.
And pick them up again.
And teach a class tonight.
So staying in is not an option.
***
I counted up the other day. So far, since September, I've taken Tejan to 25 doctor appointments.
Wow.
***
I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with this little guy.
How it's a lot like a summer camp relationship.
When I worked at summer camp, the friendships were always in fast-forward. You're spending so much time with the other staff, it's like a year or two of normal life crammed into two and a half months of heightened relational intimacy. Within days, you've seen each other without makeup. By the end of a week, you've shared all your deepest darkest secrets in the dead of the night while sleeping in a tee pee.
It's intense.
I feel like my mothering of Tejan is on that same fast track.
It's acute. Quick. An exaggerated and profound connection.
There is a bond I have with him that is different from anything I've experienced with any other person.
And frankly, it freaks me out a little.
Because I'm totally on uncharted territory.
***
We are now at the point where the time we have left with him is shorter than the time he's been here.
And I'm beginning to start a sort of subconscious countdown.
I know it's coming.
The Goodbye.
I can't even type it without feeling panicky and choked-up and agitated.
***
Time for my shower.
I hope your day is less slippery and sloppy and wet than mine will be.
***
Smooches, friends.
Good morning friend.
ReplyDeleteRemember Ken Unruh saying "We're makin' memories!" And whenever he said that, we were in for a wild adventure.
You are sure on the Makin Memories Program.
And it will be so worth it.
Love you.
So cold and blustery here, too!
ReplyDeleteI remember one of the reasons I left teaching my classroom of two-three year olds was the good byes at the end of the year. It was impossible not to become attached to some of those little munchkins when I spent 8-9 hours per day with them 5 days per week.
My mother-in-law found a poem titled "although you're not their mother" that had me choked up after I read it but brought me some peace. I'll have to share it with you when the time comes.
Ack! 25 doctor appointments? You have a wonderful heart to do this for Tejan. Seriously, Cathy. He will be so very grateful for you in years to come when he realizes the kindheartedness and self-less acts of love that were needed to do this for him.
ReplyDeleteHappy Monday :)