No picture today to share, but instead, I have a prayer I found recently in an old journal.
I was cleaning out my nightstand and found a few old books where I've written my thoughts... I've been journaling in some form or another since about sixth grade... so I've got them tucked away all over the house. I saw this particular spiral bound one and casually opened it to see when it was from... in the back it had funny things the kids had said scribbled down, and entries from 2004...
As I paged through, I came to this prayer:
January 28th, 2004
"Awaken us, Lord.
Pull us toward you in ways we never imagined - ways we can only describe as from You.
Bring people to us in sovereignly orchestrated ways to declare your goodness and your love so that lives are changed.
Take us together to a place of complete reliance on You.
Give us high expectations, lofty visions, great dreams.
Use us however you choose."
Wow.
I had tears in my eyes as I read this list... this list of exactly the things God has done for this family over the course of the last six months...
It's so specific.
And has been answered in a way I truly never could have imagined when I wrote it. (I even asked for that!)
It gives me great hope to know that God knows my future. And that he hears my prayers.
It makes me want to pray more - for big things - and then wait to see what He brings to us as answers.
But it's also just a teeny bit scary... because I feel like if I pray for great things, God is going to answer - and in my worrisome ways I fear that I might not be able to handle the answer...
So I have to trust. And look at His track record of never giving me more than I can handle...
And then take a deep breath and pray.
Expectantly.
Because God hears.
And he answers.
I was cleaning out my nightstand and found a few old books where I've written my thoughts... I've been journaling in some form or another since about sixth grade... so I've got them tucked away all over the house. I saw this particular spiral bound one and casually opened it to see when it was from... in the back it had funny things the kids had said scribbled down, and entries from 2004...
As I paged through, I came to this prayer:
January 28th, 2004
"Awaken us, Lord.
Pull us toward you in ways we never imagined - ways we can only describe as from You.
Bring people to us in sovereignly orchestrated ways to declare your goodness and your love so that lives are changed.
Take us together to a place of complete reliance on You.
Give us high expectations, lofty visions, great dreams.
Use us however you choose."
Wow.
I had tears in my eyes as I read this list... this list of exactly the things God has done for this family over the course of the last six months...
It's so specific.
And has been answered in a way I truly never could have imagined when I wrote it. (I even asked for that!)
It gives me great hope to know that God knows my future. And that he hears my prayers.
It makes me want to pray more - for big things - and then wait to see what He brings to us as answers.
But it's also just a teeny bit scary... because I feel like if I pray for great things, God is going to answer - and in my worrisome ways I fear that I might not be able to handle the answer...
So I have to trust. And look at His track record of never giving me more than I can handle...
And then take a deep breath and pray.
Expectantly.
Because God hears.
And he answers.
It is a strange thing about writing things down. I read once that just writing down a goal, even if you don't look at it again, dramatically increases that it will happen. I think prayer is very similar.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of what Dawson Trotman (founder of The Navigators) said once" Thoughts untangle themselves when they pass over the lips or through the fingertips."
We were just talking about this yesterday, at our little prayer group. When we look back over the things we've written, we get to see all this big picture of what God is about in our little lives. Love That.
ReplyDeleteI really loved this post. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment. Isn't God just awe-inspiring?
ReplyDeleteI think it says a lot about your faith that you're a little worried to pray big prayers...I'm like that too...I think to myself...
"I want to pray *this*, but I'm *absolutely certain* God will answer that with a yes and *then* what will happen??"
I just love how honest you are. You have no idea how much it encourages me.
Hope you're doing well this week.
Melissa~