Yesterday in the mail I got my training manual for my trip to Africa.
I read through the whole thing last night.
And I'm freaked right out.
I honestly can't believe I'm actually going to do this.
So I'm going to start writing out my fears, and if you're the praying sort, you can start praying. Because if there's one thing I learned when Tejan was here - it's that being prayed for is the best thing in all the world. Especially in the midst of fear and confusion.
So here we go:
I read through the whole thing last night.
And I'm freaked right out.
I honestly can't believe I'm actually going to do this.
So I'm going to start writing out my fears, and if you're the praying sort, you can start praying. Because if there's one thing I learned when Tejan was here - it's that being prayed for is the best thing in all the world. Especially in the midst of fear and confusion.
So here we go:
- I'm nervous about the hours and hours and hours of travel. I don't sleep well in my own bed. How will I ever sleep on a plane? And how will I ever be effective in Sierra Leone if I arrive totally sleep deprived?
- I'm concerned about getting sick. Travel is never good for my digestive system - and when you add strange diseases and new germs to the mix I'm afraid I'm going to be miserable.
- I'm going with a team of people I've never met (except for one) and I won't meet them until the day we fly out. I won't have Asia to be my social liason. How will I do with these total strangers?
- What in the world do I take on a trip to Africa? Which shoes? Which clothes? Do I take makeup? What will I do with my hair? Am I going to take my contacts along or just wear my glasses the whole time?
- How am I ever going to manage to say goodbye to Tejan again?
This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Frankly, I'm could easily be consumed with fear and doubt. But I don't really want to go there. I want to trust God with all of this... but it's so hard. I couldn't sleep last night while all of these questions ran through my mind...
It's really scary to walk into another venture when I know God will use it to break my heart even further...
So if you're the praying sort...
I'm so excited that you get to go there and visit adn experience Tejan in his home. I iwll be praying for you and will be praying how I can support you :)
ReplyDeleteCathy
ReplyDeleteWe will be praying for you too. Things always seem scary when they are the unknown. You will do great. God has been leading you thru all of this from that first day we were in church with you and that little note was in the bulletin asking for a family to take Tejan in. Just look what He has done since then. He is all powerful and will take care of you every mile of the trip !
Hugs
Praying for your trip and most of all for fear to subside. God is with you EVERY step of the way. Godspeed!
ReplyDeletePS Love your new look here on your page. I haven't visited in a while. I gotta catch UP! It's great!
All of those fears you listed are things I worry about to when traveling.
ReplyDeleteBut you know you are right about the power of prayer. I will pray for you as I know many, many others will :0)
And I am so excited for you at the same time!
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteYou can do this. You have been called to do this. Fear is not from Him.
Worship is what gets me through times of fear... here is a favorite song of mine...
All His Best, love, Tawnya
"Strong Tower"
When I wander through the desert
And I'm longing for my home
All my dreams have gone astray
When I'm stranded in the valley
And I'm tired and all alone
It seems like I've lost my way
I go running to your mountain
Where your mercy sets me free
[chorus]
You are my strong tower
Shelter over me
Beautiful and mighty
Everlasting King
You are my strong tower
Fortress when I'm weak
Your name is true and holy
And Your face is all I seek
In the middle of my darkness
In the midst of all my fear
You're my refuge and my hope
When the storm of life is raging
And the thunder's all I hear
You speak softly to my soul