Skip to main content

Ponderiffic

Been thinking lots lately about life. And where I sit in it.

I come from a long line of stability. Good people who were content to live simple lives and who settled in for the long haul. People who basically did the same thing year in and year out.

I grew up watching them. And assuming that my life would look similar to that. Get married - have kids - watch them grow - love on your grandbabies - cook lots of Thanksgiving meals and celebrate lots of Christmases surrounded by loved ones.

And here I am on the precipice of my 40's and I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm leaving for Africa in six weeks, and I know I cannot come back and settle in for the long haul.

The long haul isn't going to be in my future, I don't think.

I think my heart has been awakened to other possibilities.

Does that mean my family is going to up and move to Africa? I don't think so. But I know this: I know that for the rest of my life I'm going to be torn between two places. And I hope that I can establish that kind of un-settledness in my kids as well... because that's really what life as a believer is all about, isn't it?

It all makes my heart long all the more for Christ to return.

Because heaven will be the place I am finally settled.

I just never imagined I would be sitting here at this stage of my life wondering what in the world God has for us next... and being open to all sorts of possibilities... As a child, I always assumed at this age I'd have my heels dug in deeply with the knowledge that options had passed me by years before - and that I'd be okay with that.

But instead, I'm in this weird place of acknowledging the normalcy of my present reality while I long for the new, unknown places God might be taking me.

I'm about to embark on something extraordinary. And then I get to come back and try to integrate extraordinary into ordinary. Not quite sure how I'm going to manage that...

It's a strange and wonderful place to be.

And that's what I'm pondering.

Comments

  1. KJP5:33 PM

    Or, conversely, you will grow to understand your own faith and God's real power, and your life will never be the same.

    You will find that no matter where you are, you have a message and a calling.

    But, we need these lessons to be of any value...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love it when people talk back...

Popular posts from this blog

Are you ready for this?

How did it get to be Wednesday? Seriously. There aren't enough hours in the day - even when you're up at 2:00 am. And no - I didn't get up at 2:00 this morning. I slept all the way until 5:00! Anywho - I decided I needed something new to blog. Something to shake you all out of your 'thoughts from the deep recesses' stupor. Something to get your blood pumping and your fingers tingling. Something to inspire long and meaningful comments. From you. My beloved readers. It's a new weekly Thoughts From the Deep Recesses feature. It's "Getting to Know you Wednesday" Now this could either be lots of fun, or it could just totally flop, and I could go to bed crying because my blog readers are a bunch of takers who only come here to read and never interact. Like a piece of fresh fruit, you squeeze the juice out of my hard-written and well thought out posts and then you toss them aside, wandering on to the next blog with a simple click of your mouse. You read ...
19 comments
Read more

It came out of the faucet that way.

It's been months since I've had a "Getting to Know You Wednesday." Life's been a little crazy. So today, when life is a little bit calm and I've got the least chaotic week I've had for ages, I thought I'd jump back in. So today, if you leave me a comment telling me your most favorite-ist movie line ever, I'll enter you in a drawing for your very own copy of Josh Groban's new Christmas CD - Noel . It's a good one, folks. Classic holiday music from such a wonderful vocalist... you'll like it, I promise. I just want one movie line. Not your three favorite... not a paragraph. Just one line. The one you find yourself repeating. The one that makes you laugh every time. Your very favorite movie line of all time. And if you're the first person to name the movie my title is from, you'll get an extra entry in the drawing. Now, let's hear it.
23 comments
Read more

Phlumpyschlumpy.

Good morning, peeps. It's Friday. There's frost outside this morning. *FROST!* This week has been ridiculously chilly. I'm having mixed feelings about blogging lately. Mostly because I feel like all I've been doing is whine about being tired. Or overwhelmed. And because comments are lacking. And because I can't seem to think about anything to write about except Tejan. And because some of the thoughts I'm having are too private for the blog - or too repetitive. Or too unformed to turn into actual words you all could understand. So I'm struggling a bit. And yet, I'm committed to documenting the process I'm in. So I'll keep writing when the words come. And when they don't, like this morning, when I looked at that intimidating blinking cursor and my mind went blank and I started to break out in a cold sweat and began by talking about the weather... well, then, I'll just gracefully (or not so gracefully) back out of the room... tail between m...
21 comments
Read more