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41.

I sit here in my living room on my forty-first birthday.

The kids have left for school.

Asia is in Seattle.

I had an intern meeting at 5:30 am... to which I brought freshly baked scones - in honor of myself.

Savannah loaded the dishwasher for me this morning, but she couldn't find any dishwasher detergent so she loaded the soap dispenser with Jet Dry. Not sure what that load will come out like.

Ethan broke a glass this morning.

There is a single present on my kitchen table - a gift from my receptionist at my Weight Watcher's meeting yesterday. I saved it for today because I knew there was an odd absence of presents at home. Asia didn't take the kids to buy me anything, and since he's out of town, I don't have real high hopes that there will be any gifts to open later today.

I'm driving over tomorrow to spend a couple of days with Asia... a sort of birthday present to myself, I suppose.

I really love birthdays. Sort of feel like they should be well-celebrated... my Mom always bought us our favorite flavor of Pop Tarts for our birthdays... so right from the get-go, you knew it was a special day. Pop Tarts and Lucky Charms... the breakfast of champions... or at least a fun birthday breakfast.

So while my taste has changed a bit from sugar loaded processed food to homemade scones fresh from the oven, I still want to start and end the day with a celebration.

And even though the actual day today is shaping up to be just a bit lame, I'll still celebrate.

Beacuse life is good.

And I'm SO blessed.

And I'm so glad to be 41.

I'll take 41 over 21 any day.

Because at 41 I have a confidence and strength I didn't even know existed in my younger years. I have a better understanding of God's grace - and a heart that pushes me to do the hard stuff without worrying about preserving my self - and full confidence in God's ability to take care of me.

I guess I can say I am learning to live without fear... to really trust... to live in the moment... to embrace all of the journey...

So on this quiet, sort of lonely birthday, I'm celebrating another year of life.

And thanking God for His faithfulness to me all along the way.

I walk into a new year with arms outstretched - my face toward the sun - and a heart open to all the possibilities of the next 365 days.

Happy birthday to me.

Comments

  1. Unknown2:53 PM

    Yes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

    I totally understand what you mean about still wanting birthdays to feel like celebrations. We moms are usually the ones who make sure that happens for the rest of the family, but it doesn't always (or maybe even often?) happen for us.

    I turn 40 next month, and I'm a little worried about feeling let down. I'm a bit ashamed to say that, but there it is.

    Hope you have fun in Bellevue. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous4:34 PM

    Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You!
    I am guessing because you do not look any older than last year when you turned 40, people may have forgotten you are aging.
    Passing 40 is strange, but WAIT until you get past 50, your children are grown and you go through "the change". A whole new world will be out there for you;
    God Bless and I hope you have a marvelous week.
    GrandpaKevin

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lorraine8:10 PM

    Happy Birthday Sister. I'm glad you feel content. That in itself is a HUGE blessing. You have become more beautiful physically and internally over the years . . . far better now than when you were 21. At this rate you'll live forever. Oh wait . . . you will!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous7:23 PM

    Happy late birthday. Just read this tonight. You have wonderful insights on turning 41. I will be there in May. I too would much rather be 41 than 21. Only wish I had the body I had at 21 but I would much rather have wisdom than a tight butt.
    Blessings to you for the new year. I sure hope one day to meet you. Sounds like Corey is moving closer so and it looks like next year we might be moving back so it just might happen.
    Cheers, Leana

    ReplyDelete
  5. Andi8:54 AM

    Happy Birthday!!! :) 41 is an awesome age to be!~ And I will take it over 21 anyday.

    ReplyDelete
  6. April9:13 AM

    HaPpY BiRtHdAy! You are such an inspiration and I love to read your honesty and soul searching. You do not look 41 and at any age you are gorgeous inside and out! God has blessed you with so much and you are the fruit and not afraid to share! Have a blessed year and remember its just each day that counts.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Melissa~7:30 PM

    I'm so sorry this is a belated happy birthday. Your birthday note to me was such a blessing because the day I read it was just...awful. It brought tears to my eyes that you took the time to write that. Thank you so much.

    M~

    ReplyDelete

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