Lately Asia and I have been working with a lot of people who are struggling.
Marriages that are failing... long term relationships coming to an end... husbands and wives that are tired of the work and disenchanted with the dream of happily-ever-after.
In looking through this lens of hurt, disappointment and brokenness, I cannot help but be forced to take a good hard look at my own marriage.
I'm so blessed to have been married to Asia for the past eighteen and a half years.
I'm not sure how we've managed to keep it all intact.
We're no better than those folks we know who are watching it all come crashing down around them...
Perhaps I can attribute it to the prayers of my mother and grandmother... years of asking God to provide me with a husband who would love me. (No small request there, as I can be quite a stinker.)
However we've managed to stay together, I will never take it for granted.
This man, who nightly rests his hand on my hip as we drift off to sleep, has loved me deeply, completely, and with unbelievable patience.
He gives himself away to people all day, every day, and often even in the wee hours of the morning will make himself available to someone who needs a listening ear... and then he comes home and somehow still manages to give me his very best.
He parents with wisdom and laughter, showing our kids a shining example of a man whose eyes are solely for his wife... and never hesitating to demonstrate his priority of always placing me first.
I know, with full confidence, that I am more important to him than his job. His friends. His hobbies. His own life.
He strives to try to make me happy, even though my definition of that changes with the breeze... he tries his darndest to stay on top of it... sometimes pushing me to reach for stars I never even saw. He knows me well. He often identifies and labels struggles I may just be beginning to comprehend... suggesting solutions and encouraging growth.
He seldom asks me to hold back my passions... and instead, encourages me to follow my dreams and even praying with me that God would define His vision for me in ways I cannot yet imagine.
He dreams with me, hopes with me, holds me when I fail, tells me I'm beautiful and believes in me even when I am stuck in the mire of my lifelong struggle with negativity.
I am blessed.
So very, very blessed.
Marriages that are failing... long term relationships coming to an end... husbands and wives that are tired of the work and disenchanted with the dream of happily-ever-after.
In looking through this lens of hurt, disappointment and brokenness, I cannot help but be forced to take a good hard look at my own marriage.
I'm so blessed to have been married to Asia for the past eighteen and a half years.
I'm not sure how we've managed to keep it all intact.
We're no better than those folks we know who are watching it all come crashing down around them...
Perhaps I can attribute it to the prayers of my mother and grandmother... years of asking God to provide me with a husband who would love me. (No small request there, as I can be quite a stinker.)
However we've managed to stay together, I will never take it for granted.
This man, who nightly rests his hand on my hip as we drift off to sleep, has loved me deeply, completely, and with unbelievable patience.
He gives himself away to people all day, every day, and often even in the wee hours of the morning will make himself available to someone who needs a listening ear... and then he comes home and somehow still manages to give me his very best.
He parents with wisdom and laughter, showing our kids a shining example of a man whose eyes are solely for his wife... and never hesitating to demonstrate his priority of always placing me first.
I know, with full confidence, that I am more important to him than his job. His friends. His hobbies. His own life.
He strives to try to make me happy, even though my definition of that changes with the breeze... he tries his darndest to stay on top of it... sometimes pushing me to reach for stars I never even saw. He knows me well. He often identifies and labels struggles I may just be beginning to comprehend... suggesting solutions and encouraging growth.
He seldom asks me to hold back my passions... and instead, encourages me to follow my dreams and even praying with me that God would define His vision for me in ways I cannot yet imagine.
He dreams with me, hopes with me, holds me when I fail, tells me I'm beautiful and believes in me even when I am stuck in the mire of my lifelong struggle with negativity.
I am blessed.
Beautiful, Cathy. You have given your husband--and readers--a gift in the form of very specifically seeing who he is and not withhold(ing) good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.
ReplyDeleteYou are both blessed.
God answers prayers. I remember praying for the Bergie girls and their husbands compliment each of them so perfectly. You are blessed...you had a grandmother who prayed, a mother who prayed, and God provided the answer to those prayers in Asia. (Makes me all kinda misty eyed!)
ReplyDeleteThere is a blessing in also being able to see how lucky and blessed you are. So many women can only see what is "wrong" or shall I say, what they consider 'wrong" - people often ask my husband and I "how we do it" and my answer is always, lots of love, mutual caring, and an appreciation for each other that we aren't afraid to express. Your family is blessed to have your example. :)
ReplyDeleteCathy - this is really such a beautiful post.
ReplyDeleteI think about the state of marriage a lot.
Mike and I really went through some struggles just to be together in the beginning.
And when times get tough, I think back to those days. How much I loved him and just wanted to be with him.
And I know that even when times get tough in our marriage for whatever reason, I will always want to be with him. We are so worth it!