thoughts from the deep recesses

"Mom, do clocks really go around or is it just the earth turning?"

Today it was Restoration Hardware, Pier One, and L.L. Bean. Yesterday it was Eddie Bauer. Last week? C.S. Post, Red Envelope, Ballard Designs, and Land's End. And then there's my inbox... Walmart , Lego, scrapbooking stores galore, Your Music, Williams- Sonoma ... it goes on and on and on. All vying for my attention. And my pocket book. And my heart. ***** I want my heart to desire after God. Not after cashmere. Or hand-hooked rugs. Or holiday collectibles or personalized photo mouse pads or veryveryvery expensive French porcelain enameled pots for my kitchen. So I'm not looking anymore. I'm deleting. And tossing. And I'm not going to the mall. Because I have lovely dishes. And a closet full of clothes. And fully functional, (if old- ish ) slippers that keep my feet completely as warm as I need them to be. And I don't need cashmere. And my TJ Maxx rug gets walked on just like a hand hooked one would. And my house might not be an HGTV showcase, but it's...

The leftovers are almost gone. The trees are up. The Christmas music is playing. Love this time of year. We even got snow yesterday. Sledding. And hot cocoa. And mittens drying. The kids are back in school and I've got oodles of laundry to do. But it's all good. It's Christmastime...

For warm, dry houses, And good health. Grace. True love. Hot showers. Latte stands. Puppy kisses. The beach. For good friends. And extended family. For snuggly kids and new slippers and cherry filled Hershey kisses. For comfy jeans. Candles. A soft bed. And good memories. Give thanks. 'Cause God is good. It's all good in light of mercy and love and unmerited favor. Give thanks.

My parents are here. The turkey is defrosting, although I fear it may not be totally thawed by morning. (This happens to me every year...) My Mom and S. are scrapbooking on the kitchen table together. The dog is curled up at my feet. I can't wait to get up in the morning and start the stuffing... love the smell of sausage and onion and celery saute-ing on the stove top. I always think of my Grandma on Thanksgiving, how they always seemed to get up at the crack of dawn to get the bird in the oven, and how it would always smell like turkey when we came downstairs for breakfast... good memories. We started the pinochle tournament last night. So far it's women - 2 games, men - 1 game. This is another long standing tradition, as my parents played with my grandparents every night that we visited them. For years and years I would sit next to my Grandma before I went to bed and learn the game from her. I still remember her wrinkly hands holding the cards... I'm a sucker for traditi...

I put up a Christmas tree yesterday. I know. I know. It's early... but I bought this fully decorated tree at Michaels two years ago at a steal of a price after Christmas and have yet to put it up. Last year, with the kitchen remodel, there was hardly time to get the regular tree up. And when I went through the Christmas storage area the other day, I saw this little tree and just knew I had to put it up. It makes me happy. This brings my tree total to three - the big tree, the kids' tree, and now I have a kitchen tree. YAY ! We made about $16,000 at our school auction last weekend. That's a great thing. Totally makes all the hard work worth it. I couldn't believe how much people spent on things - this was certainly a different socio- economic group than we are in... two families spent over $550 dollars each for their kids to have lunch with the principal. Crazy. My friend Mindy came over yesterday and taught me how to knit. I've always wanted to learn. I have abo...

I made it though the week. Three classes. Conferences for all three kids. Asia out of town. Two sick kids. Two trips to the doctor. Typing, formatting and publishing a huge booklet for the school auction. Laundry, dinner and household chores? Totally ignored. It was pretty ugly around here. But it's over. My classes were a success, the auction went off without a hitch, and I'm finally caught up on my laundry. Asia is home. The kids are starting to feel better. And I'm feeling more relaxed than I have in weeks. I get to make pies tomorrow. I love baking. And I make really good pumpkin pie. Had a phone call from an old friend today. We talked for a long time. I hung up refreshed. And thankful. And happy. All good things. Contentment is good for the soul. Hugs, ya'll.

Seriously. I'm scared of all the things I need to accomplish in the next few days. And of course, I was planning a hugely productive day of errand running, and I have a sick child. So I'm home instead. Still working hard, getting stuff done. Just not really accomplishing what I had hoped to today. *** I've got lots of great pictures to share from the weekend still... we just had such a nice time. And here it is Wednesday. Ah well. I'll pop a few in at the end of this post and we'll go from there, eh? *** The other night at the dinner table the kids and I were asking 'either/or' questions of each other. It helps makes dinner a fun time for all of us - especially when Asia is gone. So I asked K. a question. And he answered it, then it was his turn to ask someone. "E. - would you rather," he paused while he tried to think of a good one... "Would you rather marry Elise and live under the sea..." E. giggles at the thought... K. continues, ...

S.'s birthday was just lovely. Everything I think a tenth birthday should look like. Asia has a buddy who grew up in Leavenworth who was also there over the weekend. And his Mom owns two horses. So Savannah got to ride. (She is her mother's and grandmother's daughter and loves horses...) And open presents. And have birthday brownies. She's a lovely ten year old, I think. Love this girl. Love who she is becoming. Love all that she is. Happy 10th birthday, Sweet Girl.

We're off this morning to go to Leavenworth. We have some friends who own a vacation home there and who let us use it on Veteran's Day weekend each year. It's such a beautiful, peaceful setting. So we'll have a birthday party for S. Play games. Read. Hike. Watch movies. Relax. Rest. *** But before that I've got to finish packing and get my shower and take the dog to the kennel. Asia is already there, since he was traveling this week near there and we couldn't see any sense in his coming home first just to drive all the way back... so I'm on my own. (Hate packing the car by myself... that's a man's job if ever there were one...) *** Had a weird dream last night about my brother and his wife coming to visit. And they wanted to meet our pastor, so they picked them up to take them out to eat lunch. And as they drove off, I noticed they were all crammed into the front seat of a Nissan Sentra. My pastor was straddling the stick shift. You know, like we did...

I woke up this morning with the worst headache I've had in years. Truly, I could barely function. Talking brought tears to my eyes. I told the kids I needed them to basically get themselves ready without my help this morning. And that's when I had the privilege of seeing my almost ten-year old daughter truly rise to the occasion. She cleaned up after breakfast. Loaded the dishwasher. Made her little brother's lunch. Brought me a cup of coffee, complete with a homemade, taped-on-napkin sleeve so the cup wouldn't feel too hot. She reminded her brothers to keep their voices down. And made sure I had a blanket. And told me if I didn't want to bring cupcakes to school today for her birthday, I didn't have to. She was such a blessing to me. I called Asia, and he said he would pray for my headache to go away. I took lots of ibuprofin. And now I feel better. A little green around the gills, but my head doesn't hurt anymore. Phew. These pictures are just a few things...

My oldest son is twitterpated . Big time. Her name is Emily. And apparently, she's all he can think about. For two days, all I've heard is how he wanted to ask her if she would sit with him at lunch today... He's been planning. And thinking about whether he should ask her himself. Or have a friend do it. Or use the trusty standby, a note. I told him I thought he should ask her himself. So today was to be the big day. He woke up early. Took his shower. Told me he was going ahead - he was going to ask her himself. And if she said no, he'd be okay with that. "I dealt with lots of rejection last year, remember Mom?" That was with a girl named Chabeli . But this year it's Emily. When I picked him up from school, the first thing he said was, "I couldn't do it, Mom, because I had to go to band and I didn't have time." Then tonight as I tucked him in, he added, "I didn't have time, but I also didn't do it because every time I though...

There really are any number of things I should be doing right now... but more than anything I have two scrapbooking projects that should have been done days ago. And they're not done. And I don't want to do them. Sometimes it sucks to have to scrapbook when I'm not feeling it. And yes, I'm whining. E. lost his second top tooth. His grin is totally predominated by the classic huge hole of the first-grader... he looks pretty cute, and is loving the accompanying lisp. Gosh it's windy and stormy out the last couple of days. Reminds me of living in Oregon. This is why we left Oregon - to get out of the rain. S. has a birthday this weekend. She's turning ten. TEN, people. My little baby girl. She gets to get her ears pierced. But she doesn't know it yet... I bought her the cutest little pair of earrings to wrap up. I ate leftover bruschetta tomatoes for lunch - on Wheat Thins. Yum. But boy, do I smell like garlic now. I got to teach a craft to a local MOPS grou...

Monday morning. The dishwasher is loaded, the laudry has been started, the remains of the weekend have been put away, and I'm staying home this morning. It's stormy out. Lots of wind. A little rain. Pine needles blanket my front yard. I'm thankful for home today. For this quiet place I call mine. Thankful that we can fill it with kids and friends and laughter. And thankful that it can be totally peaceful and a place of rest. We have gone together with a small group of friends from church to host a refugee family from Somalia over the past week and a half... they got moved into their apartment over the weekend. Now they have a home. After 15 years in a tent in a Kenyan refugee camp. They have a little apartment with basic hand-me-down household goods. I have a palace, or so it seems compared to from where they've come. It's so easy in our society to be discontent. I have quit watching HGTV, because it only breeds discontent in my heart. One walk through a furniture ...

Feeling fluid lately, like my definition of self is pretty mushy, floppy, undetermined. The older I get the less I know. That much is sure. I used to know it all. Now, not so much The Foundation stays the same. The Foundation stays the same. The Foundation stays the same. Even in the midst of confusion and apprehension... It's so good to have One Thing that does not change.

I'm feeling like this new sort of busy is going to be the standard for my life... like somehow there's been this huge paradigm shift in my days. That as my kids get older, the way I spend my days cannot ever look the same as it used to... Lately I've been nostalgic for the preschool years... when the kids and I were home all day and the big decisions were about what to have for snack and whether one more half-hour tv show was going to permanently damage their little developing brains... and when I could bake cookies and give chocolate chips to little sticky fingers... I know I'm romanticizing. But this world I live in now, with this brain that is so full of information and lists and things to remember is much harder to live with. It's way more challenging than dirty diapers and temper tantrums and cut-up peaches on a high chair tray. I just want to sit on the couch with chubby toddlers and read 'Little Bear' books. I don't want to think about the scho...