thoughts from the deep recesses

That title is what I just heard E. say from the kitchen. He and S. are cracking and tasting a whole coconut left over from our luau party decorations... I think he just tasted the coconut milk. Perhaps there's a future in restaurant critiquing for this guy... There's a girlie at the coffee shop I go to most often who has the most fabulous, long, dreadlocked hair. Some days she weaves shells into her hair. And sometimes beads. It doesn't hurt that she's about a size -2 and has a gorgeous face, but I pretty much want to marry her. Yesterday, S. told me we should ask her name, so that we don't always have to call her "Dreadlock Girl." So we did. Her name is Brandy. We all pretty much have a crush on Brandy. She lives just around the corner from us. I haven't told her I know that, because that would seem stalker-ish. But I recognize her car and I see her walking her dog all the time. She burns incense in her flower beds. I've always been intruiged by f...

I'm totally copying my friend Susie today... ten random thoughts. My index finger is very sore from spray painting. I painted three chairs for the kitchen and recovered the seats. I bought grapes at Costco yesterday, but they're mushy. Bummer. Gracie has learned to sit at the threshold to the kitchen while I mop. She watches, but she doesn't come in. Good dog. S. has taken to wearing glitter. Lots of glitter . On her eyelids. In her hair. On her cheekbones. I'm picking my battles and letting this one slide. Tuesday is dumb mail day. Pizza coupons, silly flyers for businesses I'll never patronize and junk. I hate Tuesday mail. Washed my windows outside and power washed the outside of the house last night. Everything seems a little brighter today. (You would not believe how filthy my screens were...) Couldn't the fall shows just go ahead and start up now? I'm dying for new seasons of Survivor and Grey's Anatomy. There has been so much road construction a...

Some layouts to share... then I'm back to the studio. Lots to do.

Wow. Lots going on lately. Gotta use my beloved bullets... We took the kids to Silverwood on Thursday. I know. Not very many people know that there's a theme park in Northern Idaho. But there is. It's small, and cheesy, but it's also not completely exhausting, and the lines are never very long. I had a headache all day, but loved watching the kids enjoy themselves so much. E. rode every roller coaster in the place - his first time tall enough to do so. Work was fun on Friday. I'm slowly but surely getting organized and finishing up my class samples for the fall schedule. There's a ton of new product coming in - lots of fall and holiday papers and goodies. Fun. I'll share some pictures tomorrow maybe... I'm having so much fun with new products. Church was great this morning. Our church is largely made up of college students, so after the summer of being a fairly small congregation, it was fun to see all the returning students show up this morning. I love my ...

Yesterday was ugly. My heart was ruled by my circumstances. I was tired. And hormonal. And overwhelmed. And I did not shine the light of Jesus to my household. Today will be better. Today I will remember God's grace upon grace bestowed on me. Today I will keep my perspective. Today I will take my eyes off of me. And I will live with joy.

There's a fountain in downtown Spokane. It's new-ish, having been finished at the very end of last summer. We've been there many times, but always after doing something downtown, and never in swimsuits, so the kids have never really been able to play in it properly. So yesterday, I told them to get their swimsuits on, cause we were goin' to the fountain. And we did. So while the countdown to school starting has officially started in the back of my mind, I'm still enjoying the last bit of summer. How could I not?

Get back to doing water aerobics - 3 days a week. Work in my studio - set hours - from 12:00 to 3:00 Mondays and Wednesdays. Start submitting here and there to magazines again. It's been awhile. Paint my bedroom. Paint the main bathroom. Start Christmas shopping. Get back to meal planning. Summertime is not condusive to an organized meal plan and it's starting to drive me crazy. Seed the bald patches in the front yard. List about a gazillion things on ebay. Work every day with Gracie until she learns to heel correctly. Clean out the 'green room' - my basement storage area. And that's just what I can think of off the top of my head. Lots of plans. I love summer - love having the chance to do fun things with the kids, but I'm ready for some structure - a schedule - and a little more free time to accomplish stuff without all these bodies all over the place... Looking forward to my quiet Monday mornings again. School starts two weeks from tomorrow. I LOVE September!

Last night when I was tucking K. in, I hugged him super tight and said, "I really really missed you." "I missed you too, Mom. Why do you think I hugged you first?"

...and I got a letter from K. And I'm bawling like a baby. It's so good to hear from him. And no, I don't need any comments about his spelling, penmanship, or grammar. Does he need to get back to school or what?

Saw this on a 2 peas blog challenge. Thought it was fun to ask the kids these questions... Me - according to S... 1. What's the funniest thing I do? When you go "Ah boodga, boodga, boo" ... to make me laugh when I'm sad. 2. What's my favorite TV show? The news and "What Not to Wear." 3. How tall am I? No clue. I'm just going to say 5' 10". 4. What's my favorite thing to do? Scrapbook. 5. What makes me sad? When I disobey you. 6. What makes me laugh? ME! 7. How much time do I spend on the phone? It depends on who you're talking to. If it's Grandma, like about two hours. 8. Am I a better driver than Dad? Cha, yeah! 9. What do I do when you're at school each day? You scrapbook. 10. What should I be famous for? Scrapbooking. And according to E... 1. What's the funniest thing I do? Pretend like you're Matilda. 2. What's my favorite TV show? Oprah. 3. How tall am I? 3' 6". 4. What's my favorite thing to do?...

I colored my hair this morning. I always do it myself, because I'm cheap. I paid one time to get my hair colored, and paying $60 for something I can do with a $5 box of Nice and Easy just was too painful. Now all my grey hairs are sufficiently covered for another 8 weeks. YAY! I've sent K. something in the mail every day this week. Yesterday was the last day to do that, since he comes home Saturday morning and I doubt anything sent today would get there in time. He even got a postcard from Gracie... I remember mail call at camp as a kid - it's SO fun to get mail. DEEP cleaned my bedroom yesterday. Can you say dust bunnies? I cannot find the hose attachments for my vacuum cleaner, so it was exceedingly difficult to reach all the dust bunnies... I got them all though. And I dusted. And I wiped down the wall and got rid of old shoes and rearranged and reorganized. It's just lovley in there. Makes me want to paint... it's in desperate need of new paint... Asia got home...

So K. is gone at camp. And I miss him like crazy. So weird. I didn't expect to miss him at all. He's the kid who pushes my buttons. Of whom Asia and I find ourselves saying "What's wrong with that boy?" The one who is so full of personality that everyone he meets just loves his energy and enthusiasm. However, living with that level of enthusiasm is often exhausting... he wears me out some days. I thought a week of his absence would be a welcome reprieve from the incessant talking, questioning, thinking out loud, wondering, bugging... I love him so much - but I also have to deal with a lot of noise from him... he's just a loud, full of life, wiggly, weird kid. So he's gone. And I can't talk to him. I have no idea if he's having fun. If he's making friends. If me misses me tucking him in at night. If he likes his counselor. If he's brushing his teeth. If he's eating enough. If he wants to come home. If he never wants to come home. If hi...

Summertime always brings with it a plethora of door to door salespeople. College students passing their days making cold calls - selling cleaners, books, magazines... I hate door to door sales pressure. When we lived in Eugene, every summer you'd see a white van pull up on the street... out would jump three or four African American youth, and then the van would speed away. The first time this happened, I was a little startled. My neighborhood was pretty white - in fact I would venture to say, it was pasty white. Asia was the only person of color for miles that we knew of. The doorbell would ring. And when I opened the door, I was always surprised to hear, "Are you the queen of the house?" Well, obviously I was taken off guard. It wasn't often I was called that. But yes. I was. So I said "Yes." And then I was treated to a 45 minute speech/demonstration/hard sell on the virtues of Orange Cleaner Concentrate. Not only could it clean my hard water-stained shower...

Gotta be at the airport in an hour... I'm off to Vancouver, Washington for a little trade show... classes and shopping for the store. It's held at the lovely Heathman Lodge . This is the third year I've gone. And can I just tell you? The catering is a.m.a.z.i.n.g.. Seriously. My boss Kathy and I have been talking about the food for weeks in anticipation. Sure the classes are great, and seeing new products is fun. But mid-afternoon berry cobbler with cream? Smoked Salmon Pasta? Hot chocolate chip cookies? Hello! Have a great weekend chums! Be back Monday!

Here is my flank steak marinade. It really is amazingly delicious... I got it from my friend Cathy, who lives a few miles from my house and who was the first person to really embrace me as a friend when we moved to Spokane. She used to watch my babies for me so I could go to bible study. This marinade is perfect to make when you buy your flank steak - and then freeze it all together. When you pull it out of the freezer, the steak will marinate as it thaws. Cathy's Flank Steak 1/2 c. soy sauce 1/2 c. olive oil 1/4 c. honey 6 garlic cloves, minced 1 Tablespoon dried rosemary (or 3 Tablespoons fresh) 1 1/2 Tablespoons pepper (this will seem like a lot... don't skimp!) 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 to 2 1/2 pound flank steak Combine all marinade ingredients and pour over steak. I usually try to let it marinate at least 8 hours... Slice on the diagonal and grill or broil to desired doneness. ***** My brother Steve once said "It's better than candy." It's perfect with a great...

I had a dream last night that I had an inordinate amount of split ends. My hair was fried. Very disturbing. The kids are sleeping late. Either that, or they're awake, and don't want to get up because I told them no one could come out of the room this morning until it was clean. With Asia gone, I've been letting them all sleep in E.'s room - two on the bunkbeds and one on a mattress on the floor. It takes me a third of the time to tuck them all in and they're all close - right across the hall from my room. This is great, except that it also means that all three of them are contributing to the mess in there. And it's a mess, people . Truly. So either way, they're in there until it's clean. They can sleep as late as they want, but no one gets breakfast until the room is clean. Mean Mommy. There's lots to do today. I work tomorrow, and I'm going out of town Saturday, so I've got to get everything ready for the weekend today. Asia and I will liter...

I spent a ridiculous amount of time reading my blog last night. Asia's gone, you know. So I can do whatever I want to in the evenings. Two nights ago it was "Memoirs of a Geisha" - at least the first hour and a half... and popcorn. Last night I finished the last hour of the movie with a mug full of ice cream, then read the archives of "Thoughts from the Deep Recesses." I've written a lot over the last 17 months. Grown a lot. Changed a lot. I really am thankful for this forum to record life's good and bad. The laughs and the struggles. The lessons. The questions. The events. I've probably experienced more growth and change in my heart over the past year and a half than I did in the ten years before that. And that's good. I've learned to stand on God. God alone. I'm no longer standing on friends. Or church. Or affluence. Or appearance. Not on talent, or well-behaved children or great teaching. And I'm free. Free to fail. Free to heal. F...

Okay. If you're not a dog person, you can skip this post altogether. You've been warned. Just bear in mind that I spent the first 36 years of my life not being a dog person too. And now I'm a dog person. I even throw birthday parties for dogs. Or at least today I did. Gracie is a year old today. The kids and I made her a cake. (Ingredients: baby food chicken, butter, oil, eggs, flour, baking powder and beef jerky.) It actually smelled pretty good while it was baking, but then I had to remind me that it was a cake with meat in it... ew . We bought her a new toy. We gave her her very first real bone. We sang. We hugged. We love our dog. Happy Birthday, Gracie!

Act your age? I think so, for the most part... Born on what day of the week? Saturday. Chore you hate? Floors - be it vacuuming or mopping or sweeping - it doesn't matter. I hate it. Dad's name? Robert Lee, but everyone just calls him Bob. E.'s middle name is Robert - so we call him E. Bob. Essential makeup item? It would have to be powder. I just don't feel ready to face the day until I've put on some powder... I tend to have a bit too much shine without it. Favorite actor? Hmmm. I'd have to say John Cusack, although I don't like a lot of movies he's been in... Gold or silver? I'll wear either. I like both. Hometown? Astoria, Oregon. Instruments you play? Piano. I also know how to play the clarinet, oboe, and the flute, but it's been years. Job title? Household Engineer. Teacher. My business cards say "Scrapbookery Manager." Kids? Yep. Three. Living arrangements? A 1949 rancher in a lovely established neighborhood. 5 bedroo...

We bought a car for Asia yesterday. After much research and hemming and hawing and looking and thinking and praying, we ended up with a Mazda 6. Brand Spankin' New. Volcanic Red. Glad that's over with. We spent the day yesterday at a huge outdoor art/food festival over in Couer D'Alene, Idaho. I love Coeur D'Alene. If you ever come to visit us, we will take you to Coeur D'Alene. We took Gracie, had a picnic and perused lots of booths full of everything from fountains to carvings to paintings. Lots of fun. Saw the coolest sandcastle built in the middle of everything - carved over four days from 12 tons of sand. It was just a Dad and his two sons, who have done this together at this festival for several years. Cool. K. leaves next Sunday for his first week ever at sleep-away camp. He's beside himself with excitement. It's good timing, because when he gets back, there will only be two more weeks until school starts - my official countdown to fit everything fun...

Advice for anyone feeling short on words: When not feeling particularly bloggy, copy an idea from someone else... got this idea from Susie , who got it from Two Peas . Ten Surprises I've had in my life: I'm a lousy housekeeper. I always imagined I'd have a clean house. I'm just not very good at making it happen. And I really don't like housework. At all. I'm getting lots of grey hair. I never thought it would happen to me. I used to tease my brother Ken about it a lot... what goes around comes around, I guess. Finding out I was pregnant with K. We hadn't even officially started 'trying.' Surprise! Finding out I was pregnant with E. I was on the pill at the time! Realizing that music was not going to be my life-long ministry... I always expected it would be. Now it's not. And that's okay. My job - I could never have guessed I'd be so lucky to be able to make money doing something I love so much. Parenting - how hard it is. And how un-natu...

It's been a weird week. I'm still processing lots of thoughts from my weekend. And getting ready for Asia to be gone for two and a half weeks. And fighting some sort of tummy bug. And trying to get geared up for the fall newsletter at work - lots of samples to make. Just not a lot to say... or at least not a lot of words that have formed... there's probably lots to say, it's just not ready to come out. Sorry for being so cryptic... It's a summer funk. {{{Hugs, friends.}}}