thoughts from the deep recesses

So, I've got this idea. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to go with it. If you're not a scrapbooker, you won't probably care one teeny tiny bit. However, even if you don't scrapbook, if you're a journaler or a blogger or even the eensiest bit interested in the idea of recording ideas and hopes and dreams, maybe you'll be into it. We'll see. I'm thinking Monday.

It's been raining for days. Thankfully, today it looks almost clear out there and while the pavement is still wet, I think I'll be able to get out and take Gracie for a walk. Good thing, because I've been going freaking crazy here in the house. The kids and I have gotten lots done over the Christmas break... we sorted and cleaned our way through the basement, took a whole car load of stuff to Goodwill, we've baked, read, watched movies together, done crafts, had numerous dog training sessions and played endless games. They've also bickered and bugged and whined and argued. And so have I. I love my children. Really, a whole lot. But a homeschool Mom, I'm not. I'm sure if I had a curriculum, I'd be just fine. But these endless hours of unstructured time are enough to drive us all up a wall. Up a wall, I tell you. Even Gracie is going a little nuts. I need a routine and I need it now. Come on, January 3rd...

I always wear my seatbelt. Religiously. Not because some expert tells people that seatbelts save lives... No, I wear my seatbelt because 22 years ago today, I was thrown from a rolling vehicle going 40 miles an hour. I don't really want to do that again. December 27th was the day our church youth group was leaving for Christmas Conference - a huge Conservative Baptist gathering of youth groups from all over the state of Oregon. It was something I'd looked forward to for years - my first time to go to this mecca of high school hormones and campy fun. My best friend and I had talked about it for hours on the phone - how fun it would be, and who we might see there from summer camp. We loaded up the van at the church, said our goodbyes to our parents (see ya!) and were on our way. My best friend and I were in the first row, our friends Brian and Matt behind us. I can't remember, but it seems like maybe there was someone else in the backseat. I pulled out pictures to show to Bri...

The day after Christmas is one of my favorite days... everyone is still enamored with their new stuff, the kids are happy and content to play, the sales are on in full force and I can start looking ahead to the new year... Santa brought me my dream camera - the Pentax istDL . I haven't really been able to play with it much - it's been raining all day and I've taken enough pictures of the Christmas tree to last me awhile. Hopefully it'll clear up soon and I'll be able to get out and shoot some other pictures. I've got lots to learn - the user manual is HUGE. I'm thrilled to be able to use my lens collection from my Pentax film SLR again. We went and saw Narnia on Saturday. Wow. Loved it. I had to choke back tears repeatedly. It was SO well done. I am in love with little Lucy. What a great little actress. The kids are home for another week. Tomorrow is going to be a deep cleaning day - our basement is SO disorganized right now - we're going to roll up our ...

Mary's Song by Luci Shaw Blue homespun and the bend of my breast keep warm this small hot naked star fallen to my arms. (Rest...you who have had so far to come.) Now nearness satisfies the body of God sweetly. Quiet he lies whose vigor hurled a universe. He sleeps whose eyelids have not closed before. His breath (so slight it seems no breath at all) once ruffled the dark deeps to sprout a world. Charmed by dove's voices, the whisper of straw, he dreams, hearing no music from his other spheres. Breath, mouth, ears, eye she is curtailed who overflowed all skies, all years. Older than eternity, now he is new. Now native to earth as I am, nailed to my poor planet, caught that I might be free, blind in my womb to know my darkness ended, brought to this birth for me to be new-born, and for him to see me mended I must see him torn. Thanks to my friend Suzie for posting this on her blog. Merry Christmas, everyone.

My neighbor called today... her kids had been here playing for a couple of hours and she offered to have all our kids come over for lunch and play at her house so I could wrap presents! That's exactly what I did - the space under the tree is looking much fuller now! I was taking E. over to play at a friend's house a bit ago when he piped up from the backseat: "Mom, you know what's great about flashing shoes?" "What?" "When you're taking a walk with your Mom after dark, they light the way." That is cool, buddy. Yumm Sauce from Cafe Yumm in Eugene. My sister-in-law LaChel turned me on to this stuff when I was visiting a couple of years ago and brought me two jars for Christmas last week. My favorite lunch right now is plain chicken breast in a tortilla with lots of Yumm Sauce - it's de-spankin'-licious. Fudge. Lots of fudge. My new Williams-Sonoma Fennel kitchen candle. A gift from my wonderful boss, Kathy. It smells SO yummy. My fa...

The chores are done, the kids are sitting on the floor playing a board game and the Christmas music is playing. Gracie is laying on S.'s back, all snuggled in for a morning nap. I'm about to begin assembling my Christmas cards so they can go in the mail today. That way at least the people who live nearby will get them by Saturday. The rest, well, they'll get there next week. Having the kids home for Christmas break is interesting. I always have high hopes that we'll do projects together, make crafts and bake, do some deep cleaning and perhaps cuddle up together to watch movies on our snuggly couch. So far, that hasn't happened. We did get some Christmas shopping done the other day - they buy gifts for each other at the dollar store and wrap them up themselves. And yesterday we were able to go hang out with some friends and watch Christmas movies. But the idyllic "family time" stuff doesn't really happen the way I envision it. Unless I really make effor...

It's a melty, slippery slushy mess out there today. I think our high is predicted to be in the high 30's - just enough that the oily-black road-grime-encrusted snow out there is beginning to melt. It becomes big rainbow slicked puddles of the nastiest water you've ever seen. It's so gross that I wish I didn't have to go anywhere today. I just don't want to step out in it. I have errands to run, the worst of which is a stop at the post office. I'm already two days later than I said I'd be on getting my brothers' battery charger that he left here in the mail... bad sister . The other brother left his coat, so I've got to get it boxed up as well. I hate the post office on a good day - but four days before Christmas and I may just go postal. I need stamps for my Christmas cards that are very un-handmade this year and very late. Blame it on the kitchen. Already this morning I've had to give a bath to E. - he wet the sleeping bag last night. The k...

If you don't read the comment section regularly, you may have missed my brother Ken's link to the video he made of the Carson family Christmas celebration. If you've got a spare five minutes, go check it out. It makes me smile. Thanks, Ken. I love it! Carson Family Christmas Video

I cannot begin to tell you the sense of calm and relief I feel this morning. All the pressure and chaos of the last few weeks is gone and not only is my house in order, my heart is full of peace and rest. Plus, I got on the scale this morning for the first time since we started our month-long take-out extravaganza (otherwise known as the kitchen remodel.) I fully expected to be a good 10 to 15 pounds heavier than usual and was gearing up to begin the rigorous work of extreme self-discipline and denial. And guess what? I lost 5 pounds. Hmm. Bonus! Our extended family Christmas celebration was lovely. Everyone arrived in one piece (and almost everyone has made it safely back to their homes... one brother still has a short trip this morning to finish their trip. They all hit freezing rain and snow on their homeward journeys.) I cannot believe how big all the cousins are getting - there are several young men and women who are very close to adulthood... guess that makes us pretty old too. ...

The family has come and gone. The cookies were baked, decorated and eaten, the white elephant gifts traded, the floors slept on and the cousins reunited. The house is quiet, and the kitchen is clean. Time for pictures. It's done. And I LOVE it. The whole process was worth it to have this kitchen that I absolutely love. This is the room I've always wanted - the room that reflects my style - the room where I will spend many many hours with a cup of coffee and my cookbooks, planning and preparing meals and treats for my family. This really is the heart of my home. Welcome to my kitchen.

Decorate tree - Asia set it up for me last night Help kids decorate their tree when they get home from school Go to S's class to help with the holiday party and gingerbread house decorating fun Touch up paint in kitchen Vaccuum Dust Clean downstairs Wrap presents for extended family gathering this weekend Make cut-out sugar cookies to decorate with family this weekend Make peanut butter bars for big ugly brother who is visiting this weekend Create a mini album for my design team gig - this is one I really wish I could get out of Pick up Gracie at the vet when they call. She vomited numerous times this morning - pieces of sponge. Purple sponge. The vet did x-rays and is keeping her for observation today. Can you say $$$? Do Costco shopping so I can feed my family Plan a menu for this weekend Keep a happy heart and a serene spirit through it all The kitchen is really and truly almost done. The refrigerator has gone missing - they are looking for it and said they hope they can deliver...

For some reason my body woke my brain up at 4:45 this morning. I'm still waiting for my brain to respond fully, so if I write something totally incomprehensible, bear with me. You blog readers were the first thing I thought of when I realized I wouldn't be getting back to sleep. Isn't that sweet? It won't be sweet this afternoon around 3:00 when I've worked my fingers to the bone painting trim and I'm dead tired, but for now, I figured I might as well get up and compose an entry while the house is quiet. Since I haven't had my coffee yet, I think I'll resort to my beloved bullet points. The kids participated in their first Christmas play at church yesterday. They were so sweet and did such a good job. I generally cry whenever I see children performing in any venue, but especially when they're enacting spiritual truths. Their simple faith cuts through all the crap of life and consistently makes me teary eyed. It was a good Mommy moment... one of those...

I cannot believe my to do list. There are SO many little last minute details to finish up this project. I've been down the hill to Lowe's a million times, it seems. (I don't shop at Home Depot anymore.) The floor is in. The backsplash is finished. The trim is up. The stove is back in the kitchen and the new microwave is installed. Sink: done. Dishwasher: hooked up. Stairwell: painted. What's left? Caulk and putty the trim, then paint it. The new refrigerator comes Monday or Tuesday. Crown moulding and drywall patching. Install pantry pull out drawers. We're SO close. I got all my extended family Christmas shopping done today. What a huge blessing that was - I found great stuff for everyone. (At least I think it's great. Here's hoping they'll agree.) The first of the family arrives as soon as Thursday. I think it's going to be a bit of a busy week. Oh - and I'm as excited to post pictures as you are to see them - believe me. Only a couple more day...

We're in the home stretch. I've been a cleaning, painting, dusting, dog training, organizing, advent reading, decorating, birthday celebrating, toaster-oven cooking fool for the past week. It's been quite the adventure. There is still much to do, but it's coming together. I LOVE what I see so far. I'll post pictures when it's ALL done. Thanks for coming back, and for being patient as I focus on my non-blogging priorities. I'll be in and out for the next few days. Love to everyone.

I'm beginning a self-imposed blog break today. I feel like there are more demands on my time right now than I can possibly meet if I'm using precious time to write a daily blog entry. In the next couple of weeks, I've got to move back into my kitchen, (organizing as I go, since this is the perfect time to really plan out how my kitchen should work,) finish Christmas shopping, get three Christmas trees up and decorated, supervise the finishing of the remodel, make sure my kids stay on task with homework and other obligations, wrap all the presents, plan two birthday celebrations, do some Christmas baking, train the dog, clean the house top to bottom once all the construction is done, stay on top of laundry, etc, etc, etc... I just need to remove the distraction of the computer for a few days. I will be checking my email - once in the morning, and once at night, so I can still connect with people that way, but for now, the blog is officially on hold - at least through next We...