thoughts from the deep recesses

I'm really getting close to 10,000 visitors... If you scroll down to the bottom of the page, you'll see what I mean. Now, there are so many of you who stop by and never comment, but I'm telling you right now, that if you come to T.F.T.D.R. and you scroll down to the counter and you're number 10,000, you need to leave a comment. And then I'll send you a goody box. Full of fun stuff. If you're a scrapbooker, it will be a pile o' scrapping stuff, and if you're not, it'll be a pile o' other stuff. Won't this be fun? It's sort of like a party, without the cake. All this and my bloggy birthday is almost more excitement than I can take. Good times, here at Thoughts From the Deep Recesses.

A year ago today, I started blogging. Now, 222 posts and 895 comments later, I can celebrate a full year of blog-keeping. A year of making friends around the world. A year of recording memories. A year of sharing frustrations and victories. A year of funny stories and favorite pictures. If you've been with me for the past year, you've walked alongside me as we went to Disneyland, remodeled our kitchen and got our first puppy. You've read about my struggle with depression, my creative endeavors, and my family. You've commented. You've given advice. You've shared your lives with me. So thanks. I love blogging, if only for the written record of everyday things. But I also love if for the connection I feel with those of you who visit. So happy birthday to me. Here's to another year.

I realized I haven't really talked at all about my decision to give up chocolate for Lent. This is something I do not take lightly. Chocolate, I mean. I love me my chocolate. Generally, I have chocolate every day. Even if it just means opening up the freezer and stealing a handful of chocolate chips out of the huge Costco bag. Often it's a hershey's kiss from the stash in my studio. More often it's a dozen hershey's kisses from the stash. With chocolate, I have very little self control. It totally possesses the control in our relationship. Which I'm usually okay with - it works for us. I'm totally willing to admit my subservience to it's melty power. I've given it up before. Sometimes for l.o.n.g. periods of time. It's something I do as an act of worship. Which, if you aren't a Jesus-lover, probably sounds as weird as Mandisa's praise sounded to the judges last night on AI. But with chocolate, stepping out from under it's influence...

It's a day for bullet points... I just finished my entry in this month's circle journal. It was themed "I will never be the same." I decided to write about my transition from dog avoider to dog lover... I know, it's not deep or especially meaningful, especially compared to the journal owner's entry, which was all about the birth of her two preemie daughters. Oh well. It's where I was at. And besides, I had these great pictures of me with Gracie that I really wanted to use somewhere. Now I send it off and wait for the next journal. It should be here late this week. I'm all about letting go of certain control issues with my kids lately. K. insists on wearing shorts to school every day right now. Do I fight with him about it? No. Do I think he's going to freeze to death? Yes. But hopefully he'll learn his lesson. I've been thinking about my future lately. Even considering (a teeny-tiny bit) going back to school. One of my deepest darkest sec...

I had a great nap this afternoon, and it's now "Family Night." Problem is, family night often involves "family movies" and I have very little patience for movies made for children. They just don't hold my attention. So while the kids and Asia watch "Chicken Little," I'm trying to quietly click-clack on my keyboard. I'm feeling sneaky and a little naughty, but I just can't sit for an hour and a half watching animation. Drives me crazy. Chalk up another one for Bad Mommy. We had a lovely weekend with my brother Steve and his family. They came over to help out in a church plant here in Spokane that was having their first preview service this morning. We got to hang with them all day yesterday, and even left the kids home last night with a pan of Costco lasagna so we could go out to dinner. Fun. After a month of sick kids and a deliberate church hooky day, we were able to go to church together as a family this morning for the first time in ...

who was getting tired of the church sign banner. She looked through my computer images and liked the angel. (Although she thought it was a teeny-tiny bit creepy in a gargoylish way...) Anyhow - it's new. Busy visiting with the fam. I'll post more tomorrow after they leave.

Found this on my new friend Ronni's blog and thought it was a fun set of questions... you may not agree, but it's my blog. 1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? Manzanita, Oregon. We rent a beach house there every summer. I love the quaint atmosphere of this tiny coastal town and would love to spend weekends there regularly. Or even the whole summer... wouldn't that be wonderful? 2.. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? My Levi's and my slippers. 3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? I bought four new ones all at once recently. Sara Groves, Nicole Nordeman, Five for Fighting, and Ginny Owens. 4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Generally around 6:30 or 7:00. 5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? My new Jenn-Air refrigerator. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. The freezer on the bottom is the best thing in the world - and the french doors? So cool. I even love the handles. And the floating glass front that prohibits the accumulation of magnets... so...

So last night I went out for a birthday celebration for one of my dearest friends. Here's my little tribute to Mindy . Ivory soap girl beautiful, with the voice of an angel. Low maintenance and easy going. Organized like no one I've met. This girl defines the word. Supportive and always ready with a listening ear. Honest. Loyal. An amazing Mom - with the most adorable and well-rounded kids you'll ever meet. Disciplined and encouraging - always pushing for excellence. My garage sale buddy. The one who picks up the phone and calls because she knows I'm phonophobic. My friend Mindy. Love you, friend. Happy Birthday!

Why is it that we always have to pay the price for being gone so heavily in the early days after we return? I've got so much to catch up on after being gone for four days. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning. Work. Sleep. In hindsight, sometimes it hardly feels worth it. But hey - what am I saying? Of course it's worth it. It's just exhausting making that transition from girls weekend to real life. Every time, it's exhausting. My weekend in Portland was great. The weather cooperated, and we were even treated to a bit of blue sky. I saw some daffodils in bloom and just the beginning tinge of pink on some of the trees. In a week or so, they'll be in full bloom. I love spring. The convention was sort of ho-hum. I don't know if it's because I've gone so many times, or if the quality is waning, but I just wasn't that thrilled to be there. Now the company? That's a different story. Hanging with my Mom and our friend Jan and my best friend from Eugene, Brooke was...

I'm outa here until late Sunday night. I fly out to Portland tomorrow morning. Happy weekend, everyone. See you Monday.

Don't ask me what that title is all about. I was thinking about it being Tuesday, and that's what came out. Several things on my mind today... so it's a great day for bullet points. The Pub over at Two Peas is a mess. It's call time for the big Hall of Fame contest. Entrants were expecting the calls to start yesterday - and here it is 2:30 on Tuesday and nothin'. I'm SO glad I didn't enter this year. I don't need all that nervous energy. Last year I was a basket case, wishing and wondering. This year I'm simply amused by the forced wait and eager to see who's going to win. I got five new CD's in the mail yesterday. I love getting new music. My favorites? The Battle for Everything by Five for Fighting and Add to the Beauty by Sara Groves. Good stuff. I am currently washing the bathroom rug after discovering a schmear of you know what on it yesterday. I don't know who is responsible, and I don't want to know. The real news here is t...

I'm feeling so FULL right now. Full of inspiration, full of passion, full of excitement. It's good - but a little overwhelming. I'm tired, but in a really good way. I like this exciting energy. The weekend with Ali at the store was over the top fabulous. She is SO freaking real, and down to earth and easy. Her teaching style is totally laid back, much like mine. I love teachers who keep it real and fluid and low stress. She is so low stress. I took her Perspectives class - which was totally fun. Stacy Julian took the class also - what a blast to sit with her and her friend Paula, and my friend Debbie. Our pictures had to be cropped to 3 x 3 inches for the album, and I can't tell you how many times I heard Stacy say "Oh, let's see, which kid to I have to crop out this time?" Love Stacy. Ali did a fabulous make and take at the anniversary party - it was so cool to watch her figure out what she was going to do. She pulled a ton of product out of her suitca...

I'm leaving here in about 45 minutes to pick Ali Edwards up at the airport - and then starts the whirlwind of my weekend... This is the fifth anniversary of the store I work at. We're having a big ol' party tonight, with Ali doing a make-n-take and signing books. Then tomorrow she's teaching two classes. It's going to be crazy busy and fun. I'm very excited to watch her at work. She is a fabulous designer and an all around cool chick. Love my job. Have a great weekend, everyone.

Just a quickie post this morning. Lots to do. Here's the cover of my CHA Memories book... If you want to see the rest of it, you can go look here: CHA Memory Book Have a great Tuesday. Kiss!

There are about a million things I want to do this morning, not the least of which is to get into my studio and clean. Ugh - it's a disaster in there. But my mind is full of random thoughts that I want to get bulleted. ( Not a verb, you say? - Well, it's my blog, and I'm making it a verb.) Off we go: We took the kids to a huge indoor water park yesterday - just to get out of the house and have some fun family time. I've been fighting some major cabin fever these last few weeks. It was over in Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, which is one of the prettiest places in the world. However, as I discovered, not all of the people in North Idaho are beautiful. There are quite a few 'backwoodsy' types there. (Can you say in-breeding?) And I think they were all at the water park. Needless to say, I got some prime people watching opportunities. I saw more man-boobs than I ever want to see in my whole life, folks. We're talking full B-cups. Somebody really needs to invent some...

Okay. So we've had the new bed for almost a month, I think. And I woke up this morning realizing for the first time - I can sit up in bed now . See, before the bed, with just our old Hollywood bedframe set-up, if I sat up in bed, my back was just leaning on the wall. And that meant that the pressure of my back against the wall pushed the mattresses (on the bed frame wheels) away from the wall, leaving a huge gap just large enough for my butt to fall into. Therefore, I never sat up in bed. Never. Well, this morning, I literally woke up thinking "I can sit up in bed against my new headboard." I promptly got up, made a pot of coffee, grabbed my laptop and came back to bed. And here I've been ever since, all propped up with pillows. All I need now is some sort of toilet get-up, because with the coffee, inevitably, I have to pee. Asia accused me of wasting my morning. He doesn't get it. After all, it is Saturday. I can think of no better way to spend a Saturday mornin...

Begin Dream: I'm involved in some capacity in American Idol. I'm not a contestant, but I'm not a judge either. In whatever capacity, I'm there. And I'm looking over Simon Cowell's shoulder. He's been coloring w ith what appears to be colored pencils. And it's quite good. "I didn't know you were an artist." I say. We're alone. "What did you think I was?" he asks. I don't answer. Suddenly, we're in his kitchen, which is much more 80's style than current. It's cluttered and dark, and kind of dusty. Simon is fixing me dinner. "I don't know if I could get used to cooking every night for you," I say. "I'd be afraid of your criticism." He responds by putting down the spoon he's been stirring the sauce with and holding both my hands in his. "We care for one another. Why would I ever criticize you?" I can't answer. His brown eyes are cutting through to my soul, it seems. I p...

I'm lovin' Thursday this morning. The kids have a late-start school day, which meant we all got to sleep in and have a more relaxed morning after needing to be somewhere by 8:00 am the last two days. I'm all about leisurely mornings. K. and S. are all rehearsed for the school variety show next week. K. has done it for years, doing a "chicken act" of some sort or another since 2nd grade. S. is in it for the first time, playing one of her favorite piano pieces. It's a fun school event, and one that I've come to love being a part of. We had our final dress rehearsal yesterday. Check out these cute chickens: Aren't they hilarious? This year they're doing a modified version of Queen's "We are the Champions," singing "We are the Chickens" instead. Too funny. The other two boys seem like maybe they're getting embarrassed about doing the chicken thing now that they're getting older, but K. is so comfortable in his own skin, ...

So the kids and I were out of the house bright and early for a rehearsal at the school - we had to be there by 8:00. I got up early, took my shower, got the kids up and running, fed the dog, and had time to run to Starbucks before we went to the school. S. put the dog in her crate as we headed out the door, as usual. Now, the crate is such a good thing. The dog is contained. She can't chew anything up or ruin anything or get into stuff she shouldn't while we're gone. Generally, she just sleeps until we return. Unless of course, some genius decides to put something in her crate that doesn't belong there. Now - I can't point fingers yet, because both S. and E. were in there when Gracie was being put away. So I don't know who decided it would be a good idea to put S.'s little yellow squishy pillow in the crate with the dog. All I know, is that when I got home and went to let the dog out, the crate, the room, the dog and her blankets were all covered with what ...

Who decided to spell Wed-nes-day that way anyway??? I believe it should be Wendsday, don't you all? I'm feeling better this morning... my mid afternoon funk nearly took me over, but then I remembered I had the ingredients to make a new muffin recipe, so I pulled my sorry butt off the couch and started baking. The family went ga-ga over having my delicious muffins with cereal for dinner, and S. told me they were the best muffins in the world, which did wonders for my mood. They were really good - and healthy too, which is always good. Then, I came to check my email this morning and saw a comment here from my sweet Kelly Bell where she called me Funky Monkey. How could anyone be called that and stay in a funk? Somehow it takes the edge off the funk when you add the monk. Okay, that was just stupid. Today is Ash Wednesday. Which normally would mean next to nothing to me. I did not grow up observing Lent, nor have I ever bothered to learn about it or participate in it in my adult...