thoughts from the deep recesses

I've been up for two hours already - and it's only 5:23 am. Crazy. There's no way I can form paragraphs on this amount of sleep, so bear with me. Three weeks left before school's out. Count 'em. Three. K. starts a unit on rockets today and is out of his mind excited. Whoever decided to put rockets into the hands of fifth grade boys had to have been nuts. Somebody is sure to put an eye out. Going to a scrapbooking retreat this weekend. Meeting my Mom and friend Jan there. Been assembling pictures and paper and embellishments like a crazy woman. Laid in bed thinking about pictures and paper and embellishments. Couldn't sleep because of pictures and paper and embellishments. Crazy, people. I really want someone who would come to my house twice a week and clean the floors. That's all. Just the floors. Finally finished cleaning out S.'s drawers. Know what was in there making it impossible for her to find anything? Mountains of dirty clothes. I'm still w...

I'm working this morning on a circle journal entry - the subject: Play. And it's really hard for me. I don't play, really - at least not in the traditional sense. When I think of traditional "play," I think of outdoor pursuits, sports, board games, tag, dodgeball, and all sorts of things that make me have that same nervous twinge I felt in seventh grade volleyball games when it was my turn to serve. See, I was terrible. At most all sports. I just had no natural ability. In high school, I was a cheerleader, which I was great at (except for the dancing - I'm a terrible dancer) because I was FULL of spirit and loud and organized and a leader and very comfortable in front of a crowd. And so I began my finding my way into the world of play... I play cards. There's a long history of grown-ups playing pinochle late into the night in my family - which Asia and I have carried on with my parents. I love to play cards. I play with photography. Trying different lenses...

So I'm tucking E. into bed the other night. "I love you so much," I say as I snuggle him into bed. "I love you more," he replies. "No," I say, "you don't. You could never love me more." "Why?" he asks. I hand him his Lovey Pup and say "You'll understand when you're a Daddy someday. You can't really understand how much your parent loves you until you're a parent." He thinks about this for a minute, then says, "Well, you can never understand how much I love you because you're not me." Smart boy. He's right. Love that he sticks up for himself. We're all working hard around here to ensure dental decay with a huge bag of salt water taffy Asia brought home from his trip to the coast. My favorite flavor? Caramel Apple. Yum. The caramel is actually caramelly - not just caramel flavored. I love caramel. Although strangely enough, I'm not a huge fan of real caramel apples. They're so...

I went to the eye doctor this morning, and my eyes are still dilated from the drops. The lady at my contact fitting said she'd never seen eyes so dilated. Apparently I have very special pupils. I can barely see, everything is so bright. Just had to make a quickie post and share this funny thing I saw over at 2 peas. It's a recipe for writing an American Idol finals song... you know - the smarmy 'first release' song each finalist sings as their last song? Last night's were worse than ever, but I have to say, Taylor made it his own and really did amazing stuff with what he was given. Anyway - here you go. Totally made me laugh. RECIPE FOR AN American Idol FINALS First Single: 1 cup Celine Dion 1 cup Mariah Carey 1 cup Whitney Houston (1980's vintage, must be MSG and Bobby Brown free) Mix these three ingredients thoroughly, then set aside in a warm place until it attracts fans. Meanwhile, take: 200 Hallmark cards (no Shoebox Greetings) 100 High School Yearbook sig...

So I got up this morning and when I walked into the kitchen, Gracie was sitting on her favorite rug, and the lighting from the window was simply amazing. It was a golden opportunity. Savannah helped me by wielding the Scooby Snacks. And I think we got some pretty good shots. Isn't she just the cutest dog ever?

Well, after the mid-May heat wave of aught-six, we're back to normal spring weather and temperatures. Thank goodness. I was ready to go hi-jack a HVAC truck and install my own air conditioning. Seriously. Asia called last night from his hotel to let me know he'd made it safely there. Oh - and to mention the fact that his room is not only huge, with a plasma tv on the wall, it's also beachfront. Beachfront, people. And I'm sitting here with a contaminated, deflated kiddie pool in the back yard. Life isn't fair. I slept like a rock last night. I'm always just a teeny bit freaked out turning off all the lights and going to to bed when Asia's gone - but last night, I think I lasted all of about 30 seconds before I was off to dream-land. Must have been the lack of my usual Sunday nap. I didn't feel that tired, but hey - who's knocking a great night's sleep? Not I, said the pig. (That's a reference to some childhood book - no idea which one. Help m...

I'm just so full of things to tell you I must go postal and spray you all with bullets. Sorry if anyone gets hit. Asia always has Friday afternoons off. This isn't really as nice as it sounds, since I always work Friday afternoons. We're like ships passing in the night. But yesterday, he took the morning off. We were able to go have coffee together ( where I had a chocolate croissant - the world's most perfect food ), stop at a few garage sales, and go to the bike shop together. The weather was stinkin' lovely, and our morning together sheer bliss. I really love my husband. Before we left the house for our little date, Asia decided to empty the kids' pool in the backyard so he could mow later. I was sitting in the living room. He went out, then not more than a minute later came running back in the house "Catherine - GO LOOK AT THE POOL!!!" He ran to the sink and started frantically washing his hands. Well, obviously, my curiosity was aroused. I walked...

I realize pictures of the kids doing their various and assorted school activities isn't really that exciting to the general blog world. But since we have no family in town, and since I really like my family to know what we're up to, you'll just have to bear with me. The following is a totally kid-focused, picture heavy post. Like it or not - this is my life, and I'm sharing it with you. S. had her school program last night. It was a stifling 85 degrees in the gym where the program was held. Those third graders sung their hearts out regardless. A good time was had by all. S. had a speaking part - and can I just tell you? She was so articulate. And easy to understand. And well-spoken. She totally reminded me of a pageant contestant. Blew me away. And - I have to say - she is every music teachers dream - smiling her way through every song - singing with gusto, and intently focused on exactly what she's supposed to be doing. (This was in sharp contrast to the kids who w...

We've had three days of sunshine. HOT sunshine. Set the pool up in the backyard sunshine. I feel badly that the kids are in school when it's this hot. There's no air conditioning at their school, so the classrooms are almost unbearable. And anyway, who wants to be in school when it's 90 degrees outside? No one. I gotta say though, I'm loving it. It's so nice after a cool-ish spring to get some hot weather. I still really need that pedicure, though. I went to the doctor today. Because of insurance issues, I've not been to a doctor for over two years. I haven't really needed to, as I've been healthy, but on my return to my beloved Dr. Jamison, I received a gentle scolding and was strongly encouraged to set up a full physical. You know, the 'take off all your clothes and put on this paper towel' physical. It's time. Plus, I've been having some interesting symptoms, and it's probably a good thing to get all those important base-line...

The birds are chirping outside and the weather forecast is predicting highs in the upper 80's today. It's a glorious day to be alive. Glorious, I say! I've got windows open all over the house and the smell wafting through them is intoxicating. And, it's Monday - my favorite day of the week! I'm a bit disjointed this morning, so I'm resorting to bullets. My Mother's Day was lovely. Asia and the kids bought me a bike - which I'm so excited about. I also got a bouquet of the prettiest roses I think I've ever gotten. They're all shades of pink and so full and beautiful. Flowers really make me happy. I'm also getting a new patio put in this week. An outdoor beautification project almost always ends up being part of my Mother's Day gift. We built a new deck in 2003 and I've been waiting to finish up the tail end of that project since then. I'll be sure to take before and after pictures. I think it's going to make a huge difference i...

I have to start with a big thank you to my commenters from yesterday. I was feeling pretty alone in the world and it always helps to know there are other people out there who have felt the same confusion and loneliness. Sometimes I feel like the blessing of a "best friend" throughout my whole childhood has in some ways stunted my ability to make friends as an adult. Or maybe, as Corey commented yesterday, it may just be this season of life - where my relationships with my kids are so much more emotionally intense - that causes me to feel unable to extend energy toward other friendships. What I really wish for, is a street with lovely white houses that all have front porches, and where all my friends could live. All my bloggy friends, and all my real friends. Wanna come? I think part of it is that there was a certain intensity with the friends I had when I was having my babies. We were all entering this motherhood thing together, and a bit overwhelmed, and a lot desperate for ...

I'm supposed to be at a potluck for S.'s soccer team in two hours and I have no idea what I'm going to take. The food department at the Goins household has been severely lacking of late, and I'm clueless about what to make. The last potluck we had to go to I stopped on the way and bought chicken... such a shame, I know, but always popular with the kids. Frankly, I don't want to go to the potluck. This has been one of those weeks where I've been running non-stop from activity to activity. Tonight I'd love to just stay home. Curl up on the couch and read. I've got stacks of great library books right now and no time to read. I can be such a hermit. I'm noticing myself in yet another transition in terms of relationships... we're slowly getting to know people at the new church, but sadly, I see many of my old friendships fading to some degree. This is in many ways my fault, since I'm so bad about picking up the phone... but even when I do manage t...

I was pretty much out for the count yesterday. Turns out it was a PMS thing, although I didn't recognize it until this morning. Duh. Twenty five years of having a period, you'd think I'd recognize the symptoms... but no, I spent all day yesterday saying "I don't know why I feel so yucky..." Why is it so much easier to face symptoms when you know what you're dealing with? Once I can put a name on it, I suddenly feel empowered to conquer it. Weird. So today, I'm ready to face the world. Funny how a whole day of nothing but the couch and daytime tv yesterday made me realize that just about anything is better than that. So today I'm up for anything. Gettin' out of the house... walking the dog, stopping at my favorite coffee shop, teaching a class... life is good. Life is good.

I have a headache this morning. Haven't been sleeping well, and last night dreamed that Asia was moving Katie Holmes into the basement. Ugh. I'm sure that's why I've got this headache. It's a crazy busy week ahead. What is it about May? The calendar is loaded. I'll be working lots this week, as my boss is out of town and dealing with her Dad's death over the weekend. So sad for her. It makes my heart hurt, as she just lost her Mom a year ago. Reminds me of my grandparent's deaths, which happened so quickly also. So anyway, lots to do to help keep the store running and help out where I can... I've been crazy hungry for my Bible lately, just devouring verses and stories. My eyes hurt looking at the screen. Toodles to you all.

I'm really trying to get on and off the computer in record time today... I never cease to be amazed at what a time sucker it can be, and I've got lots I want to do today. Yesterday was full with a ton of cooking and baking. The bug bit me and I made a huge mess in the kitchen. I made beef satay with peanut sauce, a brownie and raspberry torte and peanut butter toffee bars. It all turned out delicious. I took the desserts to bible study last night and received a marraige proposal. Asia better be on his guard. It's supposed to be in the 70's here today. I pulled my summer clothes out of the basement closet a couple of days ago, and am wearing capris today. My toes are freezing sans socks, but I just know by the end of the day I'll be toasty. I have the cutest skirt to wear tomorrow for our Cinco de Mayo crop at the store... Isn't it wonderful to wear flirty clothes after a winter of long sleeves and heavy sweaters? I was toying with the idea of getting a pedicure ...

I awoke at 4:30 this morning. Couldn't get back to sleep, so I got out of bed at 5:00. Crazy. I'll most likely fall over into a coma around 1:30 this afternoon. I did have lots of time for a hot bath, and some blog reading. If I get all that out of the way, when the kids go to school, I can revel in the quietness of my house and read my bible and then get into my studio right away. So being up early isn't awful. It just seems like it. American Idol tonight... it's harder every week to see someone go home. I really do like each of the contestants who remain. Do I have a favorite? ( Thanks for asking.. .) As much as Chris totally blows me away with his raw talent, my favorite has to be Taylor. The guy just oozes music. And soul. And genius. It courses through his body and fills the stage. Love.him. I would buy a CD today if it were available. While I thought Kellie Pickler was as cute as a button, I was wearing tired of her. It was time for her to go. I'm about to go ...

I know it's not normal , per se, to love Mondays. But I do. All the bodies that have spent two days messing up the house and carrying things from their lovely spots to spots where they don't belong have left, and I can begin the process of rearranging and re-placing things in their little homes. And it's quiet. I love my family, but I love having the house to myself too - just me and the dog. Can't believe summer is almost here... I've got a lot on my mind, so I think it's a day for bullet points. Friday night I had a dream. My highschool French teacher took my best friend from highschool and I on the Concorde to Paris for the weekend. (I know the Concorde no longer flies - but it's a dream, people.) Later in my dream, after I'd returned from the City of Lights, I was so thankful to have something to blog about. I've been feeling less wordy than normal and was so glad I had an exciting jaunt to Paris to write about. How disappointing to wake up and ...